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User Topic: OW stalks my facebook page.
forgivenesswins
New Member
Member # 37052
Default  Posted: 5:03 PM, June 21st (Friday)

WTF? ...thoughts?


BW- Me, 40
WH- Him, 39
Together 14 yrs.
D-Day - June 2012
DSD15, DS12, OC(D)4, DD2

Posts: 24 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: TX
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 5:05 PM, June 21st (Friday)

She's a pathetic POS who wants your life, she's not confident enough in herself not to dream of settling for sloppy seconds, crumbs.....

If it bothers you (and it would me), you could block her.

((((forgivenesswins))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2588 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
Chefj9
Member
Member # 38604
Default  Posted: 5:23 PM, June 21st (Friday)

She stalks mine too.... She can''t see anything though and she''s blocked on WH''s. I agree with Deadmumwalking. Don''t let it get to you. Live your life. (((Hugs)))


ME - BS 49, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 25, 15, 15 and 12
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

Posts: 470 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Texas
hitbyatruck
Member
Member # 23769
Default  Posted: 5:25 PM, June 21st (Friday)

How do you know that she is stalking your page?


Married 1998, 2 kids
D-day3/27/09,he left 5/23/09
WH wants to rebuild 3/21/10
He moved back in 9/25/10,
Dec, 2011-finally putting it all together, H had multiple affairs.
Possible porn addict for 15 yrs.
01/2014- in house separation

Posts: 3280 | Registered: Apr 2009
1Faith
Member
Member # 38975
Default  Posted: 5:37 PM, June 21st (Friday)

Block her. And make your page private in the settings. She is a desperate wench.

Or post loving and glowing things about your husband and your marriage.

In the end who cares. She isn't worth caring over.


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1149 | Registered: Apr 2013
cuppacoffee
Member
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 5:37 PM, June 21st (Friday)

Yes how do you know? Not that I peak at the ow's page or anything...


I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 361 | Registered: May 2013
notquiteoverit
Member
Member # 32919
Default  Posted: 5:39 PM, June 21st (Friday)

I am also curious as to how you know this.


Me - BS 50
Him - WS 49
SOW - 52 destitute loser
D-day 1/28/11

Posts: 575 | Registered: Jul 2011
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 5:47 PM, June 21st (Friday)

Another person wanting to know how you know someone is stalking your FB page. How does one know?


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9662 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Spelljean
Member
Member # 35624
Default  Posted: 6:13 PM, June 21st (Friday)

I too was under the impression that you can't tell who looked at your page. I've never been able to find out who has looked at my facebook page anyway. Read up once on that and it apparently can't be done?


WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

Posts: 903 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California
Chefj9
Member
Member # 38604
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, June 21st (Friday)

I know because of FB''''s suggested friends. And if I go to search and type in the first letter of her name, she pops up before my actual friends do.... Something to do with FB''''s algorithms and tracking info. If she hasn''''t been trying to view my wall for a few days, she falls down the list.

[This message edited by Chefj9 at 7:01 PM, June 21st, 2013 (Friday)]


ME - BS 49, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 25, 15, 15 and 12
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

Posts: 470 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Texas
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 6:57 PM, June 21st (Friday)

Creepy whore.

I'm in the BLOCK HER camp. Don't give her a window into your life---or any additional entre into your thoughts. (I know it's hard to banish her, but every little thing you can do to help rid yourself of her influence is important, IMO.)


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8703 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Tired05
Member
Member # 39609
Default  Posted: 7:44 PM, June 21st (Friday)

I'm pretty sure the OW stalked my page before I even knew there was an OW. I'm also pretty confident she did it until right after my daughter was born (I realized she blocked me about a month after DD's Bday). I purposely left it public and posted a shit ton of pictures of me, my husband, our child and him holding our child. Also, those four weeks my husband (military) came home for leave (during daughter's birth) I posted and tagged pics of me and him. One of him touching my belly. Everytime I look at it, I can see what others who don't know must see: A married couple madly in love who can't wait for the birth of their first child who is due any day now. Of course, little do those bystanders know that I was sure he was telling me and OW what we both wanted to hear again.

Of course, this was when we were 'together again' and he was telling me he wasn't sure he made the right decision by coming back to me, so I KNEW that he was telling her the same thing and that he was thinking about leaving. So I took the ONLY kind of revenge I had, by posting those pictures on mine and his walls. I later read messages from her on his phone that she was upset to see us so close in those pics.

[This message edited by Tired05 at 7:46 PM, June 21st (Friday)]


Together 6 yrs. M 4 yrs. DD born 3/1/2013.
Me: BS -- Him: 1 EA/PA (6mos), PA (MW), and 6 ONS...Been at it for almost 5 yrs. *Still slave to TT* 1st DDay- 11/24/2012,
.....OC due in August.....

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
cuppacoffee
Member
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, June 21st (Friday)

Interesting...


I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 361 | Registered: May 2013
Area2
Member
Member # 37797
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, June 21st (Friday)

I agree with Tired. Load up your page with pictures of you and your loving, devoted spouse and let her stew in her own hate. Target your posts for maximum effect on OW. Show her she has no impact on your life any more.


Me: BW 50's
Him: WH 60ish
Married all my adult life
LTA, in limbo re: R

Posts: 71 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Eastern seaboard
sri624
Member
Member # 33956
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, June 21st (Friday)

oh gosh...now i am paranoid...i look at ow FB sometimes.....


BS (41):(Former Doormat)
WS (39):(Busted Cheater)
Married: 10 years, 3 kids under 5
DD1: 10/11 PA/EA with pilates instructor/former stripper.
DD2: 10/12 False r, cheating with other women, online dating,Substance abuse issues.
R:Last chance

Posts: 942 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Alabama
sunshine226
Member
Member # 38851
Default  Posted: 9:50 PM, June 21st (Friday)

Yes, block her

I have blocked OW, her son, her daughter and WH's brother, sister in law, and cousin (all 3 have OW as a friend on FB)

I am sure she looked at my FB before I knew about her, but I dont care, I check out her FB once in a while (through a "fake" account I set up years ago to play games - cityville and farmville, sending stuff to achieve goals)

OW still has pic of WH and her son as her cover photo, despite being told by me twice, told off BIG TIME by DD, through FB and on the phone and WH even told her to remove it

Still it remains, stupid pathetic OW, so proud to show off a pic of a man who has been lying and cheating for the entire time


Me-BS (44)
Him-WS (47)
DDay 1/1/2012, common law for 22 1/2 years when he began A in September 2011
Status: moving on without him

Posts: 234 | Registered: Mar 2013
hitbyatruck
Member
Member # 23769
Default  Posted: 9:59 PM, June 21st (Friday)

I understand what you are saying. Say her name is "Rachel Green". As soon as you type "RA" into the search she pops up. That is because YOU look at her. You can't know who is looking at your page.


Married 1998, 2 kids
D-day3/27/09,he left 5/23/09
WH wants to rebuild 3/21/10
He moved back in 9/25/10,
Dec, 2011-finally putting it all together, H had multiple affairs.
Possible porn addict for 15 yrs.
01/2014- in house separation

Posts: 3280 | Registered: Apr 2009
Want2help
Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 10:10 PM, June 21st (Friday)

For me, the A was in the days of MYSPACE. Back then, there were codes that you could imbed in your profile to track the IP address of who was looking at your profile. While I didn't know OW's IP address, I did know that 7 days after I imbedded the tracker (called mixmap in those days), Ow went out of town, and all views from the IP address I suspected to be hers ceased until she was home.

In those 7 days, how many times did OW look at my profile? almost 50. In 7 days. And my profile was private (the code for the tracker was imbedded in the "headline"). 7 times a day OW looked at a white screen with my name and picture.


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
OC born 3/08
OC Adopted 2014

Reconciled


Posts: 2271 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
karmahappens
Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, June 21st (Friday)

As soon as you type "RA" into the search she pops up. That is because YOU look at her. You can't know who is looking at your page.

Correct, you cannot tell who is looking at your FB page. It is one of the few privacy "regs" (their own)they have kept to.


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3807 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 11:08 PM, June 21st (Friday)

That means she's desperately trying to find any shred of trouble. She's intrigued by you and curious. I don't know your story but if you are in R, I would post pix of you and ws having a lovely time. If u have kids, then pix of daddy lovin on his kids.

I knew ow was checking my fbk out and I.posted " thanks babe for a wonderful night, can't wait for you to get home ". I left it for 24 hrs then blocked the bitch


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5047 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Bluebird26
Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 6:14 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)

If she is coming as a suggested friend, it could be because you are searching for her or she is friends with your WH or mutual friends of you and your WH.

Do yourself a favour and block her, she doesn't deserve any space in your head.


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1337 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Kierst13
Member
Member # 39197
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)

I think you have it backwards. If she comes up after you put in the first two or three letters of her name in a search, it's because you have been looking her up, not the other way around.

Nobody can tell if you are looking at their page/profile.


Story in my profile
He lied, I gave the gift of R
He became the model remorseful WS...all while lying and seeing her
Am I done? Yes I am!

Posts: 347 | Registered: May 2013
Vulcanized
Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)

Block, block, block.

I understand the urge to put up pix w/XW, however, do you really want OW having pix of you?


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 752 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
Ashland13
Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 10:28 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)

This topic so messed with my head that I finally deleted my face book account altogether. When photos of my child and my life's events appeared with her name linked to STBXH's, I was done. And when our deceased dog showed up on her page at my house, I was livid. When photos of STBX's b'days that I threw him showed up on her page and I took the pictures, I was also done.

You know, after I deleted my page, within the next month or so, I started getting call-hang ups in the middle of the night. When I casually mentioned this to Perv and the advice the police gave me, it stopped.

I'm on the team saying just block her or delete your page-be strong and don't get sucked in to their crap.

It also really helped me detatch from looking, because I was borderline OCD looking to see what he was doing-now I can't and I'm so relieved not to know.

Also, the thoughts about leaving a window open for OW to look in on your life is true and it's terrible.

It only took a couple weeks to get used to not going to FB at all and I am so relieved not to be part of anything they are. They made life such an unreality there that the only way to get control for me was to get off.

And if she/they can steal my pictures, what else could they get hold of, for any of us?


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2229 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
AFrayedKnot
Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)

Stop letting her rule your life. BLOCK!!!! She is not worth any second of your time or energy.


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2587 | Registered: Aug 2012
Dark Inertia
Member
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)

I know because of FB''s suggested friends. And if I go to search and type in the first letter of her name, she pops up before my actual friends do.... Something to do with FB''s algorithms and tracking info.

Yeah, that happens when you or someone in your household has been looking her up, not the other way around.


"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1256 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
Lalagirl
Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, June 24th (Monday)

I could care less if xOW is looking at my page (we have a couple mutual friends) - nothing but happy on my page - happy times with H, my kids and grandkids - photo bombs everywhere. Not to piss her off, but for my f&f to enjoy. If she wants to torture herself, so be it.


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 30 years 9/2/13
2 grown daughters-30 & 27
5yo GS & 20 mo. GD & GB #4 due 8/15(DD30) and 2.5 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 5058 | Registered: May 2007
Chefj9
Member
Member # 38604
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, June 24th (Monday)

nothing but happy on my page - happy times with H, my kids and grandkids - photo bombs everywhere. Not to piss her off, but for my f&f to enjoy. If she wants to torture herself, so be it.

Exactly my post too. Look all you want, my life is coming back together, we're happy and I'm not going to hide. If she wants to torture herself, then let her.

I think everyone has their thoughts on FB etc. I think if it detracts from healing or causes pain, then block, block and block. But if you reach a point, that it doesn't hurt you, then who cares, let them look all they want.

She already has hundreded of pictures of the inside of my house, I don't care what she sees. I don't post anything on FB that I wouldn't want my own mother or priest to look at.


ME - BS 49, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 25, 15, 15 and 12
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

Posts: 470 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Texas
Lalagirl
Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, June 24th (Monday)

She already has hundreded of pictures of the inside of my house, I don't care what she sees. I don't post anything on FB that I wouldn't want my own mother or priest to look at.

Amen (pun intended)!


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 30 years 9/2/13
2 grown daughters-30 & 27
5yo GS & 20 mo. GD & GB #4 due 8/15(DD30) and 2.5 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 5058 | Registered: May 2007
LA44
Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, June 24th (Monday)

There might be something tho to the "suggested friends" fb often throws out.....

ya think?


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2288 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Dare2Trust
Member
Member # 21183
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, June 24th (Monday)

As others stated: My FB is for my friends and family...If the Psycho OW wants to bother checking my FB; then she can just see happy photos of my family, our home, and our fun trips. It's her loss - and NO! She didn't get my life!!

Unless she found another man to rent her an apartment out of the ghetto; and buy her a computer - she probably doesn't have access to the internet anyway!


Me BS 59
WH 58
Married 19 years
D-Day Nov 3, 2005
Child: Adopted Daughter 21 College Student now

I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.


Posts: 6121 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
Bobbi_sue
Member
Member # 10347
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, June 24th (Monday)

I agree with Tired. Load up your page with pictures of you and your loving, devoted spouse and let her stew in her own hate.
I've been doing this as long as I've had FB (since about 2008, I think).

I have few privacy settings and I don't block anyone because I figure if they want to see it bad enough, they will find a way. I think the best philosophy is to only post stuff that you don't mind if the whole world sees on FB and that includes potential enemies, OWs, stalkers, etc.

So I post pictures and positive things. If I'm going somehwere, I report it after the fact (if it is something I want to tell about) rather than announce to the world that I'm not home, making me a target for who-knows-what.


Posts: 5742 | Registered: Apr 2006
forgivenesswins
New Member
Member # 37052
Default  Posted: 1:39 PM, June 25th (Tuesday)

Sorry I hadn't come back to the thread in a bit.
I know because she and my WH share an OC, and she called him about a photo I had posted with our kids in the bathtub demanding to have me take it down. It is mostly private, except sometimes I forget to change the privacy settings when posting from my iPhone. I don't give shit who sees what I post - it's FACEBOOK for Pete's sake. I just find it sad for her.


BW- Me, 40
WH- Him, 39
Together 14 yrs.
D-Day - June 2012
DSD15, DS12, OC(D)4, DD2

Posts: 24 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: TX
Topic Posts: 33