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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Update on Custody
Sweetness8
Member
Member # 25674
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, June 21st (Friday)

Just thought I should update, due to reading my past posts from May, and realizing that I have come further than I thought in the way of custody. My lawyer is a tough chick, and I adore her. I informed her of the whole situation with daughter and husband in past and current. She wanted to sue directly; I do not want to ruin his life, I just need to protect my child, who he has harmed, whether she understands it or not. He now officially hates me because "I told", and my daughter doesn't understand why I would tell anyone and get daddy in trouble. I'm gonna protect my girl no matter what! He will NOT get 50/50 custody, nor will he get overnights with either children until daughter turns eighteen, then it is up to her. My son can spend overnights with ex when my daughter turns eighteen. He's pretty much tied up by the balls by what he's done, so he has been angrily almost-agreeable to this point. However, I keep getting addendums to the agreement that my lawyer and I have proposed. Today, he asked to have visitations on his non-custodial Sunday for seven hours if he could not make it on his custodial Sunday. WTF? Why am I giving up my weekend away from his asshole-ishness and pissy influence over my children just because his schedule doesn't work that week? Have any of you had experience with this haggling over the custody bits? I have not agreed to the above at all yet, but it irritates me.
Thanks for reading, as always.


BW: 43 WH: 39 We are done.
Married 15 years with two kids: Cool Boy is 10 and Auburn Girl is 14
D-Day #1: 9-2009, 6-month EA/PA with H.S. friend. Did it ever end? D-day #2 on 5-2-13: Found OW's current pic on his cell.

Posts: 80 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Zoo of the New
Coraline
Member
Member # 36434
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, June 21st (Friday)

How far in advance would you get notice? Personally, I would do it if you had a week's notice that he was going to miss his custodial Sunday, so two weeks notice before he'd take your Sunday, AND you had no big plans already made at that point - parties to attend weekend trips, concerts, whatever. If you knew two weeks ahead of your Sunday, that's enough time to prevent you making plans on all but a few occasions like those sorts of things, right? So I'd do it if those conditions were met, but not if he just wants to cancel last minute and then take your week.


Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.

Posts: 771 | Registered: Aug 2012
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, June 21st (Friday)

Today, he asked to have visitations on his non-custodial Sunday for seven hours if he could not make it on his custodial Sunday.

Uh...no fucking way to that. Too much potential for chaos and general mind-fuckery.

Now, that said...ex-shat and I have set our own visitation schedule...but it is a set schedule. He still has to give notice if he wants to switch...which, I will if it works for me and Teslet. The day that either of us starts disagreeing about it, we revert to the state specified schedule (that I had written into the decree).


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4539 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
devistatedmom
Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 6:30 PM, June 22nd (Saturday)

No way you should agree to him basically being able to claim whichever sundays he wants. The schedule is a set schedule. He may ask you to switch, and if it is convenient, you can, but if it's not and he still can't/won't take the kids, then he forfeits that visitation. Do NOT sign off on the way he wants it!!!


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5361 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Sweetness8
Member
Member # 25674
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, June 23rd (Sunday)

Thanks for your quick and helpful answers! It was not sitting well with me at all, so I wrote my lawyer and said no, gave her my reasoning. I guess he could take me to court. Other than this, custody is actually proceeding fairly well.


BW: 43 WH: 39 We are done.
Married 15 years with two kids: Cool Boy is 10 and Auburn Girl is 14
D-Day #1: 9-2009, 6-month EA/PA with H.S. friend. Did it ever end? D-day #2 on 5-2-13: Found OW's current pic on his cell.

Posts: 80 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Zoo of the New
Topic Posts: 5