SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Hey...watch this....
TattoodChinaDoll
Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 9:56 PM, June 22nd (Saturday)

Yeah...that's me...shutting the door...going to the gym...because I'M NOT GETTING INTO IT WITH YOU NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU INSULT ME OR TRY TO PISS ME OFF. And watch what I do after the gym. When I go to the computer so I can finish an online application. So I can get away from your NPD, emotionally abusive, PA, devoid of empathy and remorse toxic presence.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011


Posts: 1727 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:28 PM, June 22nd (Saturday)

<standing ovation!>


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9815 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
TattoodChinaDoll
Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 10:47 PM, June 22nd (Saturday)

And sorry dude. Thanks to you actually, I'm stronger. I'm not going to be sucked into how we used to interact. Get that? Used to. I want better. You will never be better.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011


Posts: 1727 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 11:53 PM, June 22nd (Saturday)

There comes a time when you KNOW snd finally BELIEVE there is no going back. Make your anger work for you right now, so much to get done.
Hugs
Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20382 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
TattoodChinaDoll
Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 12:10 AM, June 23rd (Sunday)

This might be anger and time of the month!

It's crazy to see the dysfunction so clearly when you have realized the truth. It's almost like I could see it dripping from his words. I do, however, need to do a better job of controlling my responses from the beginning instead of slamming on the breaks when I realize what I'm saying is just old, unhealthy things.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011


Posts: 1727 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 4:58 AM, June 23rd (Sunday)

Your silence is your greatest weapon and defence all at the same time.

I had to see him for a conciliation session the other day and I swear all I saw/heard was a lower muppet head on a stick going "blah, blah - blah blah blah".

An ugly, haggard old stick with a worn out lower muppet head at that.



I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5608 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
macakipa
Member
Member # 33735
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, June 23rd (Sunday)

<second standing ovation!>


M -25 years, T - 31 years, 4 children
Dday October 8, 2011 - Multiple PAs and ONs
Divorced 1-8-13
"When you give a lot of importance to someone in your life, you lose your importance in their life."

Posts: 952 | Registered: Oct 2011
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 8:38 AM, June 23rd (Sunday)

And another standing ovation!

Good luck on your application!!


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ Stolen from asurvivor

Posts: 2299 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 8:38 AM, June 23rd (Sunday)

double post, so I'll give you another standing ovation while I'm here

[This message edited by ButterflyGirl at 8:39 AM, June 23rd (Sunday)]


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ Stolen from asurvivor

Posts: 2299 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
TattoodChinaDoll
Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 8:49 AM, June 23rd (Sunday)

Luckily it seems that most schools use the same online application site. That means I can import information from an old application to the a new one. There is a section where they ask what makes an effective teacher...blah blah blah. I just saved my responses on a word document and copy and paste which ever one seems the most appropriate. Upload resume, teaching certificate, and tweak cover letter. It takes maybe 10 minutes at the most.

But every time I got submit I get sad. There goes the life that I thought I had. Being a SAHM with a husband who I thought loved me. I just have to remind myself that this is a man who thinks that feeling abused is an opinion and since it's my opinion and not his, then it can't be true.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011


Posts: 1727 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 9:27 AM, June 23rd (Sunday)

You deserve so much better. It's hell detaching from an abusive person. My guess is that he will start amping up his attempts to manipulate you and bring you down. Just keep walking forward and trust yourself that you know the truth and are doing the right thing. When he continues to disrespect you and gas light you and blame shift things onto you, keep slamming that door in his face. You do NOT have to listen to him.

Hugs.. I hope your search goes well. I would attempt to give you some job search/interview/cover letter/thank you letter advice, but sounds like you've got all of that covered

Just think of how great you will feel when you are able to take care of yourself financially and not rely on that POS anymore.. And you may even make some new friends! It's a whole new beginning for you

[This message edited by ButterflyGirl at 9:30 AM, June 23rd (Sunday)]


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ Stolen from asurvivor

Posts: 2299 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
jjct
Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, June 23rd (Sunday)

this is a man who thinks that feeling abused is an opinion and since it's my opinion and not his, then it can't be true.

Mind- boggling, isn't it?
I can't recall seeing a better description - in one sentence! - of the toxic mind.
Bravo!

Do. Not. Be. Sad.
- to see such psycho assclowns grow smaller and smaller in your rearview mirror...that's a good thing!
Boom!


Posts: 6644 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, June 23rd (Sunday)

There goes the life that I thought I had. Being a SAHM with a husband who I thought loved me.

BTDT. Trust me, it's so much better on the other side. Keep hitting the submit button...do what you gotta do. Someday I promise you, you will look back at your time with him and wonder what the fuck possessed you to put up with all the shit.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4683 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
thebighurt
Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, June 23rd (Sunday)

Good for you TCD!

I'm impressed...... and a bit jealous. This sounds so much like MY life and yet I lived it so many more years, decades, even, except that I was working.

It's hell detaching from an abusive person.

This was it for me, except that I didn't see it for what it was. Now I hope IC can help me get past it in fewer decades than it took to get here! You are so much wiser than I.

When I see another of these stories/situations, I can't help but wonder if they haven't been doing human cloning for a long time now. It seems like so many of us M the same abnormal, dysfunctional person. It's disturbing to think there could be so much of this naturally occurring.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2381 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Housefulloflove
Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, June 23rd (Sunday)

Keep doing you! He sees you moving on and living life and that pisses him off so he has to try to bring you down to the pit where he permanently resides.

I'm right there with you filling out online applications and adjusting to the idea of no longer being a SAHM. :(


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 15