I am fast approaching what I can only call hell week. July 24 (2012) was the last time he was with OW, she slept here), July 27 (2010) is the first time he was with OW (she came here), July 29 is my ear surgery. So - in a month I have to face these 3 days in the same week.
Suggestions? I took the week off work (business owner so I can) as honestly just the surgery alone is enough to send me into the fetal position. My medical past is just about as horrid with nasty details as my romantic past, including knowing he met OW 3 months after back surgery and 6 months after brain surgery in 2010. I have had full blown PTSD from a surgery I wasn't fully asleep for and FELT in 2000.
Anyways, I have no idea how to handle. IC suggested me and WH go somewhere. I struggle with this one. We are in some form of R, not fully there yet as I am just not seeing "enough" from him yet. I actually debated saying FTG and FTC*&t and going upnorth with my friend and kids for a vacation, where I was both times in July when he was with her. Reclaim my annual vacation spot on my own sorta thing. I have debated taking a train somewhere I have never been, on my own. All I know is I *CANNOT* be HERE, with HIM. In *MY* house. The one he defiled by bringing his trash here.
As for where I am at in the process in general - pissed. I am starting to stand on my own finally. I am still here, still trying but the loss of respect I have for WH is piling up rather high lately. I will be 10 months out from first dday, 5 months out from last one (same AP, more details revealed).
Suggestions oh wise SI group?Me - 42 BS
Him - 45 WH (sodamnsorry)
Dday #1 - 9-20-12
Status: tried the world's plan - trying God's now ;)