SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Wayward Side
User Topic: Love Addiction
pizzalover
Member
Member # 38336
Default  Posted: 2:54 PM, June 26th (Wednesday)

So after reading somethings and talking to my IC and MC, I may be a love addict. I'm wondering who else has this addiction and how you helped yourself get better.

My MC suggested maybe I attend a sex and love addiction anonymous meeting. Any thoughts on that?

Also, has anyone read the book Love Addiction by Pia Mellody? Is it a worthwhile read?


Repulsed daily by my actions

Me - WW 39
Him - BH 39 (mpb1974)
2 Furrbabies - the sweetest cats you could ever meet!

Met - 8/13/99
Started dating - 9/11/99
Moved in together - 3/03
Engaged - 6/5/09
Married - 8/21/10
DD - 1/24/13


Posts: 339 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: PA
Ashamed14
New Member
Member # 38240
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, June 26th (Wednesday)

I would recommend reading "No Stones" by Marnie C. Ferree.


MHW-42
STBX-MHH-41
Married 15 yrs.
2 children

Mine DD - 6/2012
His DD - 5/2013


Posts: 18 | Registered: Jan 2013
pizzalover
Member
Member # 38336
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, June 26th (Wednesday)

I would recommend reading "No Stones" by Marnie C. Ferree.

I heard this book has a religious spin, which I'm not really. Any other good recommendations?


Repulsed daily by my actions

Me - WW 39
Him - BH 39 (mpb1974)
2 Furrbabies - the sweetest cats you could ever meet!

Met - 8/13/99
Started dating - 9/11/99
Moved in together - 3/03
Engaged - 6/5/09
Married - 8/21/10
DD - 1/24/13


Posts: 339 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: PA
EmotionalFool
Member
Member # 37362
Default  Posted: 4:25 AM, June 27th (Thursday)

I don’t know how good your MC is..

But with my first IC she agreed with everything I said… I used to read a lot and freak out asking her if I was love addicted, sex addicted, abusive relationship addicted and she used to just go along whatever I came up with.
It drove me crazy .. I tried making sense of it on my own and it was terrifying .. In our first meet itself she had concluded I was an addict (and asked me to figure out what I was addicted with )

I found another IC and told her point blank that I wanted her to help me figure out MY thought patterns .. The first thing she told me was to stop reading and stop self-diagnosis… well.. it turns out I am not an addict. I am a bit stubborn and I ask many questions. So if my IC comes up with something, I kind of challenge her to explain .. and most of the times she shows me a series of events which fit the conclusions.. I still don’t agree with her and do my own research and then discuss further.

From my experience if your MC is suggesting you to figure things out on ur own .. you need another MC. JMHO


WW: 28 (ME)
BH: 28 (SI profile: CrappyLife)
D-Day- 15/10/12

Posts: 334 | Registered: Nov 2012
pizzalover
Member
Member # 38336
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, June 27th (Thursday)

I posted a thread the other day about figuring out my past. See here: http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=500088

EF, someone suggested that I take the 40 question quiz to see if I may be a love addict - 34 of the 40 questions I answered yes.

As for our MC and my IC, I like both of them a lot as I have started to peel away the layers of my patterns that led to my affair. At this point, I'm looking at all options/possibilities. I appreciate your feedback!


Repulsed daily by my actions

Me - WW 39
Him - BH 39 (mpb1974)
2 Furrbabies - the sweetest cats you could ever meet!

Met - 8/13/99
Started dating - 9/11/99
Moved in together - 3/03
Engaged - 6/5/09
Married - 8/21/10
DD - 1/24/13


Posts: 339 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: PA
DixieD
Member
Member # 33457
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, June 27th (Thursday)

Read it early on when exploring codependency issues. Don't remember much about it but I remember thinking it had some interesting points in it. I'd say it's a worthwhile read if this is something you want to learn more about.

ETA: If I remember correctly it discussed the push pull dynamic of what she calls Love Addict vs Avoidant Addict, which can also be called Codependent and Counter-codependent and how those roles can reverse. That was the part that was interesting because I could relate to it.

As far as books on codependency specially, I prefer Melanie Beattie because they are a more straightforward easy read.

[This message edited by DixieDevastated at 11:06 AM, June 27th (Thursday)]


Growing forward

Posts: 1767 | Registered: Sep 2011
uncertainone
Member
Member # 28108
Default  Posted: 11:23 AM, June 27th (Thursday)

According to online quizzes I'm a genius.

I've read the questions.

Are you needy in a relationship? Who hasn't been when feeling insecure

Do you fantasize when you fall in love? Oh my God. Read every famous poet...well, maybe not Poe.

I'm not saying you're not a LA but I am saying online quizzes with vague patterns tend to be inconclusive at best.

Shoring up what you will and won't tolerate from yourself and others I think can be a really good start. You'd be surprised how different your answers might be as you get stronger.


Me: 37

'til the roof comes off. 'til the lights go out. 'til my legs give out, can't shut my mouth


Posts: 6795 | Registered: Mar 2010
Topic Posts: 7