New Beginnings
User Topic: Combating bitterness
Member # 37063
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, June 27th (Thursday)

My goal from the start has been to never turn into an angry bitter person. I've gone through the anger/rage stages but managed to never be bitter.

Bitterness is creeping up on me. So wise NB'ers tips on combating this?

I don't want fucktards actions to define the rest of my life. I've moved on in so many ways, why can't I let go of the injustice/unfairness of it all?.

Until now I protected him for our son's sake but lately I've been just spilling my guts to anyone who'd listen. I'm sick of being made out to be the awful wife and his reputation stays squeaky clean but darn it I don't want to be the bitter victim who bad-mouths her abuser every chance she gets. I don't want to be that person.

Just one more month and in-house separation is over. I just need to hang on a little longer. He's attacked me with all he's got today. Hence my mood. NPD's suck


Me BxW, him SA NPD WxH
1 wonderful toddler - sole legal custody to me and supervised visitation to xwh.
DDay 01/2012
10/2013 Finally Divorced!!

Posts: 266 | Registered: Oct 2012
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, June 27th (Thursday)

In-House separation sucks!! I did it for 7 months and it was hell.

It will be easier to relax and feel less angry and bitter once he leaves. Focus ont eh 180 and NC comnpletely except to discuss finances and children.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie

Posts: 3432 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
Member # 20470
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, June 27th (Thursday)

I totally agree with gahurts, in house separation is a nightmare! Once you get some distance from him it will be much easier to focus on what makes you happy, rather than what makes you want to take a frying pan to his head.

Hang in there!

M 11 years
Me: BS 38 Him: WS
DDay June 2006, LTA BFFOW
Divorced April 5, 2013
Not making a decision is making a decision.

Posts: 534 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Alaska
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 1:38 PM, June 27th (Thursday)

How long have you been doing in-house separation? I can't imagine how difficult that would be. I don't think you'll be able to start to let go of the bitterness until you put some physical space between you.

Sending strength and peace.


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7744 | Registered: Aug 2005
New Member
Member # 39545
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, June 27th (Thursday)

If you talk about it to others who have been been betrayed you will not seem bitter. I know myself I was not a good shoulder to cry on for people who have been wronged, I always thought they should just move on. Now after being demolished by a cheating wife, I actually like hearing others stories. I can relate on a very personal level.

Posts: 21 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Florida
Member # 37063
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, June 27th (Thursday)

Thanks everyone! Hopefully I won't stay bitter then after this whole mess is done. I want to start new and not be tethered to this. I'm so ready to move on.

Newlease we've been in the same house since dday. In separate rooms since dday but went through false recoveries (wanted to see full change before I allow him back in the room. It never happened). I filed for divorce in November 2012. Due to some difficulties with the lawyers it's been prolonged so we've been stuck. Still don't have a court date. It's not a mandated in-house separation (not sure how law works in other countries) but it's been necessary due to financial situation. However stbxwh starts a new job soon and thus we'll be free from this prison. It gets harder the closer my freedom comes. I just want out now!

Me BxW, him SA NPD WxH
1 wonderful toddler - sole legal custody to me and supervised visitation to xwh.
DDay 01/2012
10/2013 Finally Divorced!!

Posts: 266 | Registered: Oct 2012
Topic Posts: 6