SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
New Beginnings
User Topic: Patience: What are you waiting for?
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, June 27th (Thursday)

One of my favorite shows is Necessary Roughness, I'll admit I started watching it because she was getting divorced while I was getting divorced but I'm a psychology junkie, so I love some of the gems.

One from this week's episode:

The secret to patience is finding something else to do in the mean time..

What are you waiting for? And how are you filling the "mean time"?


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 4:56 PM, June 27th (Thursday)

I'll start - I'm waiting on a job offer. One that has been pending for a while. One for what I think could be my dream job. It's not supposed to start for another couple months, so patience has been and remains highly necessary.

Honestly, I'm not doing a very good job filling my mean time. School starts soon and that will help, because I will be mind numbingly busy, and I am planning a vacation to Chicago and Texas in the fall, which is fun because I love researching things.

What about you?


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
h0peless
Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 4:56 PM, June 27th (Thursday)

I think I'm waiting for some semblance of stability in my life. (I assume you're asking why one would wait to start dating, etc.) I'd like to have my feet under me and my baggage dealt with before I inflict myself on someone else.

In the mean time, I'm taking a lot of unnecessary risks. Maybe not the most healthy thing to do but it sure is a lot of fun.


Posts: 1736 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 5:07 PM, June 27th (Thursday)

I assume you're asking why one would wait to start dating, etc.

I actually didn't mean this as a dating specific post, but waiting to date (or waiting for a specific kind of relationship to come along) could realistically be an option here.

I have a "bad habit" of starting threads in NB that have nothing to do with dating.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
Crescita
Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, June 27th (Thursday)

Well Iím waiting to buy a home, start a family, travel, travel, travel.

In the meantime, Iím paying down debt, saving, going to the gym, planning a fabulous 30th bday trip to the Grand Canyon, working on better eating, trying to organize my wee abode. I think I need some more concrete short term goals because I always feel like Iím falling short on everything I am doing in the meantime and it makes the stuff Iím really waiting for seem so unattainable.


ďHappiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.Ē ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

Posts: 3459 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 6:20 PM, June 27th (Thursday)

I'm not really "waiting" which in my mind implies doing nothing, but in my "mean time" I'm looking fervently for a full-time job. I feel like I could make a much better go of a NB if I actually had an income.

I'm also waiting to get through the Big D, but I won't mention that. Even though it is somewhat preventing me from fully getting on with my NB.

I have four major goals for this year of "mean time". One, the Big D. Two, get a job. Three, take back my name. Four, college. That last one may not be able to happen, but I remain ever hopeful!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9827 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
inconnu
Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, June 27th (Thursday)

I am waiting for a call from HR to set up an interview. I talked to tentative future boss last week. This is my sister's former boss who went to a different company. He finally called me. He's got a new project starting in about a month, with a jr level position on the team available. I just need to get through the interview process, which hasn't started yet.

I'm waiting until I can afford to do some of the house projects I need to do.

In the meantime, I'm not sure how patient I'm being, though.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12166 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
million pieces
Member
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 6:41 PM, June 27th (Thursday)

I'm waiting to start my life w my SO. We have plans, but live an hour apart and have very entrenched lives in each of our areas. Not to mention if we moved, our kids wouldn't live near their other parent.

So, while I'm waiting for things to be less complicated, I'm focusing on my house (totally neglected in past 3.5 yrs) and my health (neglected too). I signed up for the Baltimore 1/2 Marathon and I'm on week 2 of training. When I turned on my Garmin, the last run it recorded was Feb 2010 (dday). FTG!!!!! I was a really good runner and I miss it. And I am back!!!!


Me - 42
2 kids, 9 and 12
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
peacelovetea
Member
Member # 26071
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, June 27th (Thursday)

I suppose I am waiting for my degree to be finished, but that feels a lot more like working my ass off than waiting!

I think part of my NB is to quit waiting for the "next thing" that would make things "better" and to make things better now. I have spent the break between quarters so far prepping the deck railings for painting, painting some closet doors, sorting through paper piles... and yesterday I made duct tape swords with my kids, increasing my Cool and Nerd rankings exponentially with them. I am also being sure I am spending lots of time with various friends, and of course the manfriend. I got myself a brand new bike (used, but much higher end than my previous one) and I plan to commute to school via bike and bus this summer.

I spent years being a SAHM with crippling anxiety and a SN kiddo who was nearly impossible to take anywhere because he was aggressive and rude, and then as a broken-down hermit after the A. NO MORE.


BW, SAHM
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final

Posts: 542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, June 27th (Thursday)

Nothing! I do it as soon as I think of it--at this age, who knows what will happen


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20291 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:34 PM, June 27th (Thursday)

I am waiting to start my epic travels around the world.

In the meantime, I'm getting my master's and saving for those epic treks!


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
nutmegkitty
Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, June 27th (Thursday)

I am filling the "mean time" with yoga, exercise, trying to be thankful for what I have, and actively parenting my girls.

I'm not sure what I'm waiting for just yet. Hopefully that will come to me, soon!


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2601 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, June 27th (Thursday)

I don't really have an answer for your question, but I LOVE LOVE that show! It is my favorite thing to watch on tv. TK the character is perfect in my mind, but he makes me realize that I have a strong attraction to the needy.

Not sure how I feel about the new job/character line-up... Do you like it Ama?


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5859 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, June 27th (Thursday)

Cg9 - I like that Dani is near Nico and away from Matt I don't like her new boss (Stamos) or assistant AT ALL though, they give me the creeps! A bit too "Stepford" for me.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 12:06 AM, June 28th (Friday)

Oh, yeah... Nico... Definitely like him. Strong, silent, maybe dangerous, capable. sigh...

But who is he spying on? spying for??

I haven't gotten used to the corporate environment in place of the team environment. Liked last season a lot!!

I am so happy to have a fellow fan!


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5859 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Bluebird26
Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 1:25 AM, June 28th (Friday)

For time to pass a bit and to save some money as I seem to be bleeding money right now.

I am waiting to start dating till my kids are a few years older, I have one kiddo full time the other one 26 days of the month so no time free at the moment to even contemplate that type of NB. Once they are a few years older I will be able to go out a bit more providing they are responsible teenagers.

But in that time I will work on me and my future, hoping to start some study in the near future, lose some more weight and get fitter both physically & mentally.


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1361 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
hurtinky
Member
Member # 26152
Default  Posted: 7:41 AM, June 28th (Friday)

For the most part, my life is where I want it. I am in my last home (unless I have no real choice), my kids are grown, married, successfully reproducing , and they are independent and happy. I have the job I want. I will always grieve, to a certain extent, that my marriage ended because I truly loved him and wanted to always be with him. But, I don't want to date nor do I desire to be in another relationship.

So I guess the thing I'm waiting on is retirement. I have things I want to do when I retire. So it will be a wonderful time, I'm sure.

In the meantime, I'm working as much as I can, to save money for retirement. I'm concentrating on my health so I can have a good retirement.

I view retirement as a great big new beginning. It makes me feel good about getting older.


Me --> BS
D-Day 10-1988
D-Day 9-12-2005
S 9-13-2005
D 3-6-12



Posts: 1500 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Kentucky
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:43 AM, June 28th (Friday)

I think I'm waiting to finish school and start looking for work...within the next year that process will start.

Freaks me out a little, but I'm excited too!


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4186 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, June 28th (Friday)

I am waiting to get out of some of the marital debt to be able to travel.

I am waiting for the man of my dreams to become the man that I need him to be. I also need to meet him.

I am waiting for the right time to sell my house and move closer to my job.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7769 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
kernel
Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, June 28th (Friday)

I am waiting for my land (40 acres) to sell. I am land rich and cash poor. Selling it would take care of a lot of divorce debts, and let me save for some travels on my bucket list.

I am waiting for a man of my dreams to show up in my life. I'm not to the point of actively seeking one out yet so maybe I'm actually waiting for the nerve to get out there!

I'm waiting for the housing market here to improve to the point where homes actually are an investment. It's holding steady at the moment but not gaining in value. I'll be selling when things improve.

In the meantime, I'm working full time and trying to chip away at my debts. Eating a lot healthier and exercising a lot more. I've also decided to go for the online degree and just suck it up and take out a student loan to do it. I'm also just learning how to be me again, and how to do things just for me. I've tried massage and acupuncture - love them both. Next up is a healthy weight training circuit program. I've also been focussing on enjoying the little things in every day life.


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5271 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
courageous
Member
Member # 34477
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, June 28th (Friday)

I am waiting on my relationship with my SO to become permanent (marriage). I know we both need some healing before then, so I'm going to counseling. I'm trying to relish every minute with SO but I'm chomping at the bit

I'm waiting to have enough money saved up to finally, after 1.5 years living with my parents, buy a house for me and the kids. In the mean time I'm enjoying my parents help with the kids.

I'm ready for my life to start!!....again


Me: BW (35)
Him: ExWH (31) EA/PA with MOW coworker
Married 9 years, 2 small kids
dday 3/12/2011 divorced fall 2012

My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.


Posts: 651 | Registered: Jan 2012
torn2bits
Member
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, June 29th (Saturday)

I am waiting for the D to be final. I am currently at the Grand Canyon with my kids. I will do more travel.

I have a Masters degree, a job that I enjoy. I am waiting to be free of him so I can financially do things I want like buy a house for me and my kids.

I will continue to travel, as it is my great joy. I am working on losing more weight and getting healthy. I like dating because I enjoy every bit of restaurants, hiking, nite life and just the company of others.

[This message edited by torn2bits at 9:29 AM, June 30th (Sunday)]


Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
Ann124
Member
Member # 29289
Default  Posted: 7:10 PM, June 29th (Saturday)

Filling my time with donating marital items that are no longer needed in my new life ... While I am waiting for the 16th and the end of this marriage.

I have been hired by a school district so I am waiting to get started there ... filling my time with research and paperwork.

Even though the D isn't final I am waiting to spread my wings and get out and start socializing again ... But in the meantime I am enjoying getting to know me again and relaxing just being me without all the stress of STBXWH being around ... I love the 1000 mile distance between us!


Posts: 387 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Back Home ... And feeling Great!!
Topic Posts: 23