User Topic: He threatened to call the cops, so I brought them with me
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 3:29 AM, June 28th (Friday)

FTGWH is a staller, foot dragger, blameshifter, victim. Classic Passive/Aggressive. We have been S for almost 2 years.

I have been gradually removing my personal, legally separate property from our former marital home and community property business. I am considerate and always give plenty of advanced notice, never show up unannounced. A month ago I told him I would be coming for some office furniture I inherited from my dad. Filing cabinet, desk, safe, antique bronze cash register. Two weeks ago he finally filed for D. Last week I told him I wanted the file cabinets and desk. He asked for more time on the desk because he hadn't found a replacement. Ok, fine. I need it but dont want to be mean and it could wait. Took the file cabinet and register instead.

This week I inform him I'm coming for the desk (again). Give 2 days notice. I have therapy this AM and then plan to go to court, then the business. I live up on a mountain and going into town isn't a trivial journey. He texts me this morning after I've left my house and am 85% of the way there "Today doesnt work, it will have to wait until the weekend."

This pisses me off. It is MY desk. I have been accommodating. I have been patient. He has been lazy and doing nothing to help himself. It's almost an hour drive one way to the business for me. I'm not wasting this gas. I'm unemployed. Broke. FTG.

I text him "NO. I'm coming to get it, I can put a folding table in its place for now".

He repeats "no, wait until Saturday"

We go back and forth a few times and he just keeps digging in. I text him "this is a bad time for you to be fucking with me, as I'm at the courthouse filing a response to your divorce petition" (you know.... the one where you ask the court to not award me alimony? Yeah, that one.)

So THEN he texts "OK, it's easier for me to call the cops than deal with this right now. See you Saturday"

Way to go ASSHOLE! Are you still unaware of what kind of motivation I get when you provoke me? Let me just go get my bitch boots on. Mind you I dont actually text this to him...

So I get done with my paperwork, file my response with the clerk, get in the car and drive... TO THE POLICE STATION!

I walk in and explain to the dispatcher what is going on and ask if I could have a police officer come with me and stand by while I get my personal property so I dont end up in an altercation with WH.

She says no problem! Happy to help! So she gets on the radio, finds the cop who has the beat with our business location, confirms he is available in an hour after he finishes the call he is on.

So I text FTGWH one more time. "At the PD, shall I have an officer come by?

He replies "No, maybe Saturday. Im busy"

Ohhhhhkaaaayyyy. I get it. You are stupid!

I tell the dispatcher "Yes please send the officer in an hour." I take my dog for a walk in the park next to the PD then head over to get my desk. Turns out the officer got there before me and pulled up right in front of the break room when WH was having lunch.

I get out of my car, officer greets me, says he has already spoken with WH, (heh, heh, heh) I explain my plan for getting the desk into the back of my minivan. He walks into the business ahead of me, sidearm on his hip, all casual like. We go into the office where my desk is, and low and behold one of the staff has a folding table set up and is emptying the desk drawers into boxes!!!!

We actually know each other well as friends from way before the whole A shit went down and WH forced me out of the business. So I talk to him a bit, apologize for the inconvenience, help start unplugging wires and moving printers and computer and the cop says "Looks like you are working cooperatively and WH is remaining in the other room with a custoner, so I think I can go, but please don't hesitate to call the PD and I will come right back if needed. You OK with that?"

Oh yeah. I'm just fine with that

So staffer helps me get desk disassembled and then loaded into my car even!

Whew! Ok. Done. Mission accomplished. I pull around the corner and pull the bitch boots off and head over to my sisters house for a glassawine, and for my dog to roll around on her lush green lawn (I dont have a lawn up on the mountain)

Anyway. Part two of this story starts tomorrow when I head back to court to submit the forms to request temporary spousal support while our D is in progress. Don't make me put those bitch boots back on again!

BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.

Posts: 1221 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 3:40 AM, June 28th (Friday)

And that is how you deal with an uncooperative STBX. I applaud you !!!! Bravo....

You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5732 | Registered: Nov 2007
Member # 38271
Default  Posted: 6:31 AM, June 28th (Friday)

I applaud you too! That was awesome!


"The Secret of Change is to focus all your energy - not on fighting the old, but on building the new" ~~Lori Greiner FB post~~

Posts: 510 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 6:45 AM, June 28th (Friday)

Don't those bitch boots look great on you! HBKK you are my hero.

"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1361 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 6:54 AM, June 28th (Friday)

Like Like Likelikelikelikelike....

mods, we need a LIKE button for stuff like this....

Don't make me put those bitch boots back on again!

Personally, I would never take them off...

You got Bitch Boots, Bitch Heels, Bitch Sandles, Bitch Slipper....

Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1767 | Registered: Sep 2012
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, June 28th (Friday)

Yes, Bravo! Them bitch boots feel good, eh?

Not sure why I was so scared to get the cops involved before.. With the way STBX dicks me around and has bitched me out IN FRONT OF THE KIDS during drop offs, I'm asking for an escort every time at the moment.

I actually require us to meet at the police station when I drop the kids off, and he keeps insisting I meet him at the store like we were before when he is the one dropping them off. So guess where the cops meet me now?

I'll be damned if I keep letting him do that in front of the kids. I can't control that POS, but I can control my reaction, and my reaction is to have backup..

xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2336 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Sad in AZ
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, June 28th (Friday)


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20292 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, June 28th (Friday)

3-pointer from the paint!

You're my latest heroine!


Fidelity isn't a's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!

Posts: 21072 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, June 28th (Friday)

I had the cops every kid exchange for a few years.


Glad you got your daddy's desk.

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5284 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Member # 25552
Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, June 28th (Friday)

Thank you for the 'feel good' story!

Me-BS Him-WS
Married-35 years
3 adult children
DD1-1/08. EA. In (fake) MC. "Just friends."
DD2-1/09. PA. Same OW,13 years younger. His married coworker.
Divorced-1/25/11 They married 2/12.

Posts: 86 | Registered: Sep 2009
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, June 28th (Friday)

Ohmygosh, I love you, you're my hero, I salute you and wish I could buy you a drink!

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9829 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 9:41 AM, June 28th (Friday)

Great post on a Friday morning! Where is that slow clap gif when you need it.

D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1912 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, June 28th (Friday)

Where is the standing ovation button when you need it??

Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2713 | Registered: Jan 2010
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, June 28th (Friday)

Ok, I'm back at the courthouse feeling all kinds if empowered. Bitch sandals on, HAH! (thank you Undefinabl3)

Thanks for the kudos everyone. Dayum it feels good to stick up for myself and enforce my boundaries with appropriate consequences. I can't wait to go get my mom's dining table from the marital home.

BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.

Posts: 1221 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, June 28th (Friday)

Love. This. Post.

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Member # 31229
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, June 28th (Friday)

This post just made my freaking day! You go girl!!!!

Status: divorcing - I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Posts: 1249 | Registered: Feb 2011
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, June 28th (Friday)

There needs to be a hand clapping smilie! Good job! Those boots look great on you.

Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, June 28th (Friday)

Love it, love it, LOVE IT!

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17558 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, June 28th (Friday)

Standing on the edge of my seat and applauding you! Bravo!!

~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25435 | Registered: Sep 2005
Dark Inertia
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 5:22 PM, June 28th (Friday)


"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1284 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
Member # 38681
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, June 28th (Friday)

Bravo! Well done!

BH 33
FWW 32
DS: 3 year old.
Dday 10/14/2012
No remorse so:
Divorced 02/15/2013. No alimony, no CS, got apartment. Won all battles and mind games off the courts.

Posts: 294 | Registered: Mar 2013
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, June 30th (Sunday)

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2217 | Registered: Jan 2012
Topic Posts: 22