SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: First mediation
copout
Member
Member # 22421
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, June 28th (Friday)

Not sure exactly what transpired but after the mediator spoke with stbx they called and had a police officer posted at the door of the room where my attorney and I were seated.
Nothing was settled today I can't wait for round two.


Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.

Posts: 286 | Registered: Jan 2009
Ashland13
Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, June 28th (Friday)

I'm sorry, Copout. Do you think it's better not to know? I do that lately, now.

That's where I am at as well. We've had two mediation meetings and much of it seems almost useless. Also, not much is getting explained to me very well and my emotions run rampid there, I don't know about how you are coping and hope ok?

Our first meeting was an entire afternoon and none of it even stuck! It was a terrible waste of time and money. This time was better and shorter, but still very confusing and too many emotions.

And STBX here is being almost casual about the papers, telling me, "oh, I haven't really, really sat and studied them in full yet." ?? Not sure I believe that.


Ashland 13

The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge


Posts: 1955 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
copout
Member
Member # 22421
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, June 28th (Friday)

With stbx I'd rather not know.My stomach is in turmoil enough.
Nothing from my standpoint was accomplished.
He wanted to trade our sons college fund for our vacation property.???? I get to pay for our sons college and he gets to vacation? Who thinks like this?
What they are offering leaves me below the poverty level.Twenty three years of his crap has got to be worth more.


Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.

Posts: 286 | Registered: Jan 2009
doggiemom12
Member
Member # 36041
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, June 29th (Saturday)

Copout -

I don't know what state you are in but in CA if you are married over 10 year you get half of everything. Period. Mediation cannot change that. The judge won't sign the order. My mediators told me it was alot about process - let the STBX say what he wanted and then they slowly moved him into reality. By the end he was resigned to giving me half of everything but it took 8 months. Did cost less than an attorney though.

Just keep at it and trust your mediator.


White bird must fly or she will die . . .

Posts: 268 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: in divorce land
movingforward13
Member
Member # 38405
Default  Posted: 4:00 PM, June 29th (Saturday)

Hey, if you have to pay for college, then you get the tax breaks associated with them, which means ex never claims them on his taxes. If he is willing to do that, I say give him the vacation home.


Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

Posts: 607 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Northeast US
Topic Posts: 5