Just Found Out
User Topic: He's still been in contact
New Member
Member # 39674
Default  Posted: 12:25 AM, June 29th (Saturday)

Dday was exactly 4 weeks ago. WH has been away this past week (just home today) from a business trip. We were supposed to do some reading and thinking.
The past month has been a roller coaster but I thought we were making some progress and the physical part of our relationship has been amazing. Well we got into arguing tonight and I told him if he was really going to be honest, I would need to have access to his phone and emails. So he gave me all the pass codes. When he went to bed, I checked the emails...nothing really there except for chats he had forwarded from a different account...
Then I went through his phone. He had taken her off of BBM but there was this other App on there called "Viber" that I hadn't heard of before. And there were chats from June 22 and again from his plane was landing. And he signed it "LU"...aka "love you".

So of course I confronted him and freaked. I told him he needs to pack his shit in the morning and get out. Also out of rage I messaged OW's boyfriend on facebook and told him of the affair. And I texted her telling her she could have WH. And I also texted WH's best friend and cancelled for the weekend...explaining it was because his best friend was cheating on me with a 25year old co-worker.

I'm done.

Posts: 12 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 35799
Default  Posted: 12:47 AM, June 29th (Saturday)

I'm so sorry.

Lots of hugs - keep posting so we can support you.

BS: 47 (me)
WH: 51
Married 26 yrs, 3 kids (16-24)
D-Days 2012: 23 - 24 May + TT
D-Day 2013: 12 Apr OW#3
mOW #1 EA yrs PA Feb 2009-end 2011
mOW #2 EA months PA 4 months 2010
OW #3 PA single time 2010
Status: Maybe 'R'

Posts: 722 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: "down-under"
Member # 31558
Default  Posted: 3:00 AM, June 29th (Saturday)

Wow, I am so sorry you are going through this. I'm also really impressed with how you handled it. Whatever happens next... You did good!

Me: BW a youthful 49
Him: alcoholic, sober now, WH 56
Married 19 years
Two sons, 16 & 17 years old
DD? He's still keeping secrets and only admits to what I have indisputable
evidence of... the $2000 earrings he bought her for x-mas.

Posts: 1512 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: California
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 3:03 AM, June 29th (Saturday)

Good for you for being so strong! How did he respond? Also, I think it's a good thing on a lot of levels that you told her bf. Don't ever give yourself a hard time about that. Sending hugs.

[This message edited by Jrazz at 3:04 AM, June 29th (Saturday)]

I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. - Jeff Brown

Posts: 17296 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 3:24 AM, June 29th (Saturday)

I know this is hard for you, but IMO - you have done exactly the right thing.

I think we BS' often think - we don't want to rock the boat or scare WS away...but we don't realize at the time is that often they're either in or out; so showing your WS *YOU* are out (in that you won't put up with this junk; it's not HIS choice) you did what was good for you, hard as it was.

Her BF also deserves to know.

We are here for you ((Shudi))

Posts: 14350 | Registered: Jun 2008
Topic Posts: 5