I'm sorry, Race, but also think you are on the right track.
It was told to me that Happy Pants "fired me" from being his spouse and it sounds like that's being done to you, also. It's helped me a little to work on detaching, but has been so long it's not easy to develop new thought patterns.
It sounds kind of like she wants to hold you at arms length and control contact with you, but that's not fair to you.Ashland 13
The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge