User Topic: can i get in trouble....
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 6:28 AM, June 30th (Sunday)

Since finding out about the continued affair, I fb messaged a couple of her friends about it.
I also messaged her sister.
Anyone know anything about the law?
Can I get in trouble for messaging someone?
Her brother is a lawyer and I just wondered if she would get him involved.
I told asshole ( who doesn't know what I did), that if her brother bothers me, I would send all the evidence I have to both of the families.
Trying so hard to be dignified, but it seems to fly out the window every time I think about the lies and deceit!!

Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 627 | Registered: May 2011
Member # 23777
Default  Posted: 6:43 AM, June 30th (Sunday)

to the best of my knowledge you can be sued for libel only if you are not speaking the truth. Just stop doing it. we go a little bit south after DDAy.

[This message edited by selkiescot at 6:44 AM, June 30th (Sunday)]

The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

Posts: 1408 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: CT
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 6:53 AM, June 30th (Sunday)


Do you have an exit plan? With his A continuing, what is the next step you are going to take for YOU?

Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."

Posts: 38219 | Registered: Sep 2007
New Member
Member # 38119
Default  Posted: 11:07 AM, June 30th (Sunday)

You have the freedom of speech. It is only slander if they could prove what you are saying is false. I would keep on exposing the affair.

They will NOT want you presenting your evidence to a judge

Married 6/16/01
10/25/11- trouble in the air
DDay 11/15/11 -she's "just a friend" co-worker
1/18/12 - continued contact - kicked WH out of house
1/29/12 WH admitted to PA
3/7/12 NC letter sent
Working on recovery

Posts: 36 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 39636
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, June 30th (Sunday)

i would think you can only get in trouble if you start harassing these people. just do not continue to contact them. they will never be on "your side" anyway.
My WH threatens me with the fact that it is illegal that i went through his computer. He states it is his "work" computer and somehow thinks that makes it worse for me legally. I don't care if i can get in trouble for it. I would do it again. I say, it is also his personal computer and it is in our home so that makes it community property. (the emails i found were saved to the computer so i did not "hack" into any email systems) I dont know what is legal and i dont care. i will take the hit if i need to-can't imagine any judge would be too harsh on a BS.

[This message edited by canteat at 11:26 AM, June 30th (Sunday)]

Me: BW 42
Him: WH 47
Married 9 years-together 18
Dday: 6/17/2013 EA/PA(EA 1yr/PA 6mos-OW out of state)
status: Starting R 7/22/13

Posts: 151 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, June 30th (Sunday)

Thanks friends for the responses.
I deleted the extra FB account, which was the one he used to communicate at the beginning of his affair.
Her sister and sister in law u used my own, and I don't care, I speak the truth. I have so much evidence, is either of them dare mess with me they will be sorry.
I also did one last thing I am a bit freaked about. This morning I mailed a typed letter to the yoga studio where she is tasking teaching classes. Just gave them a little FYI about the kind of "balanced" woman they are teaching.

Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 627 | Registered: May 2011
Member # 35971
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, June 30th (Sunday)

soveryweary why are you feeling guilty for outing their nasty behavior?

Why are you feeling guilty for not keeping their dirty little secret?

Shake it off. They are the ones who should be stressing. They are the ones who should be worried about lawyers coming after them.

Me - BS 40s
WH - 50s
4 Kids
Dday May 2012

Posts: 914 | Registered: Jun 2012
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, June 30th (Sunday)

Tj to canteat,
The next time he tells you it was illegal to go thru his "work" computer, let him know that you'll let his irk supervisor know what he's been using his work computer and his work time for.

DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 879 | Registered: Sep 2012
Heavy Sigh
Member # 34243
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, June 30th (Sunday)

Something to consider when exposing:

Truth is a defense, but the truth has to be court-evidence type of proof. Hearsay (what someone told you if they spotted them) is not proof. Emails are not always considered as acceptable proof in all courts.

Also, just because someone won't win a case doesn't mean that the person won't file a lawsuit of slander or libel, with the purpose of making you spend a lot of money and time in fighting it.

[This message edited by Heavy Sigh at 9:10 PM, June 30th (Sunday)]

Posts: 1917 | Registered: Dec 2011
Sad in AZ
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, June 30th (Sunday)

Believe me, I understand how you feel; I've been there, done a lot worse but let's take the emotion out of this:

1) You could be charged with cyberstalking by messaging the OW's friends and sister. They have nothing to do with the triangle of the BS/WS/OW. Google it.

2) You could be charged with hacking your husband; many jurisdictions are taking this to court. Don't count on the judge's being on your side.

3) If you husband has information considered sensitive on his work computer , you could be sued by his employer.

4) If the work computer is owned by his company, it is not community marital property.

Be very careful. This is an open forum; anyone can read here.

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20327 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 7:55 AM, July 1st (Monday)

CRAP!!! Just more things to worry about.
And her brother is a lawyer.
If only I'd left things alone.......

Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 627 | Registered: May 2011
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 7:58 AM, July 1st (Monday)

SVW: I exposed to OW employer and family and I got a phone call from the cops telling me to knock it off, didn't matter if it was true or not.
they said she could sue me for harassment. Might have been worth it as I have no criminal record and the fine here is $500.

his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”

Posts: 5344 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
Sad in AZ
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 7:58 AM, July 1st (Monday)

Stop; just stop. You will be ok. Don't take it any further. Just.Stop.

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20327 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, July 1st (Monday)

Totally stopping.
I deactivated his old FB account and I blocked her and all her family on my personal one as well as blocking him.
Thanks you all.
It never ceases to amaze me the kind, compassionate people on here who, while going through their own kind of hell, continue to help others.

Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 627 | Registered: May 2011
Member # 25624
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, July 1st (Monday)

I exposed OW to her family and friends on FB making sure : It was the truth (yes I have buckets of proof), that it was not pornographic (though it could have been) and that it was not harassment (just 1 message)

At the whore's deposition (where she perjured herself) she complained of the outing. Although I had not told my L about this he didn't miss a beat. He said "And yet you haven't sued my client for slander so every word on there was the truth." OW sat there blinking like a deer in the headlights

My lawyer is great

Your ex wanting to be friends is like asking a kidnapper to stay in touch when they let you go.

The type of fierce loyalty that I possess made me incapable of comprehending the level of disloyalty that he possessed

Posts: 1757 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Charlotte, NC
Topic Posts: 15