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User Topic: sitting in church this morning I look
stunnedin12
Member
Member # 38141
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, June 30th (Sunday)

at my wh and feel nothing.
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.

I feel like I should be further along. Rage? Sad? A glimmer of hope? A bit of happy? Content?

I can't even work up a bit of mis-trust even though I don't trust him one bit.

He looks at me and smiles. He is trying. Honest, I think he is. (After the stupid of April 27th). I just feel nothing.

SO - I don't want to divorce him as of this very instant, (that could change in an hour with my emotions). But, I want to feel something.


ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.

Posts: 452 | Registered: Jan 2013
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 3:56 PM, June 30th (Sunday)

It sounds like you are on that lethal plain of flatness. It''s a grey place, with featureless formations and just so blah. No colors, no interest, just unending grey that rolls on and on and on.

This place comes and goes. Sometimes it sticks around for months, sad to say. I think that it''s your mind and body banding together to shield you from further hurt the same function as shock helping to shield you from grievous bodily injury. It sort of allows your mind and body to process things deeply. When you''re ready, you''ll start feeling again. (((hugs)))


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4724 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
SoVerySadNow
Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, June 30th (Sunday)

I agree with Skan. Flat- amazingly flat nothingness. It was so strange when it hit me. It was very sudden. It was almost like taking a break from the extreme emotions that I had been feeling. Maybe the numbness is what we need at the time?


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
brkn_heartd
Member
Member # 30396
Default  Posted: 7:44 PM, June 30th (Sunday)

I am just leaving my plane of flatness. It is very difficult to get through, but I believe I would have had it if I stayed or left.


Me-51 BS
Him 58-WS
Married 31 yrs, together 34
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10

Posts: 1572 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Northwesten US
Jospehine85
Member
Member # 35971
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, June 30th (Sunday)

I disagree. I think she has detached. She has an unremorseful WH.

Now is the time to go see a lawyer and know what your rights are and what you can expect for child custody and support and spousal support.

Once you know what to expect if you D, it will make it less scary IF that is what you choose.


Me - BS 40s
WH - 50s
4 Kids
Dday May 2012

Posts: 836 | Registered: Jun 2012
aesir
Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 3:45 AM, July 1st (Monday)

Now is the time to go see a lawyer and know what your rights are and what you can expect for child custody and support and spousal support.
Well past that time, it should be one of the first things someone does, so that they can start making informed choices from the beginning.

I do however think this sounds like the plain of lethal flatness. Just like on a rollercoaster, there are transition points where you don't feel anything because nothing really happens. It is especially common right at the end as the coaster is coming in to a stop so you can finally get off.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
stunnedin12
Member
Member # 38141
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, July 1st (Monday)

I am wondering on the lethal flatness.... I guess I didn't figure it would come and go. (or in my case it isn't going at the moment).

Detached --- Now that Josephine mentions that.

If it is being detached, I don't like it. Do I want to "fake it til I make it"? Or is this it?

I guess there is no real rush. It sort of feels like I have his b*lls in a sling and he's trying. But is that any way to be married, really?

chickies birthday is tomorrow. I hope wh has an absolutely miserable day remembering.


ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.

Posts: 452 | Registered: Jan 2013
stunnedin12
Member
Member # 38141
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, July 1st (Monday)

And did I just have a light bulb moment? Am I so blah because it is chickie's birthday tomorrow?

Am I so blah because last year at this time I thought we were doing the big happy family/couple thing when in reality we weren't?

Seriously - this just bites.


ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.

Posts: 452 | Registered: Jan 2013
Topic Posts: 8