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Reconciliation
User Topic: A hard week ahead
guiltfilled11
New Member
Member # 35713
Default  Posted: 6:48 AM, July 1st (Monday)

2 years ago this week I made, by far, the biggest mistake of my life. 2 years ago I was the biggest jerk to all of the people that mean the most to me. 2 years ago I was the most self absorbed person on the planet. All I cared about was me and my A.

I have changed a lot in the last 2 years. I'm not perfect by any means but every mistake I make I learn from it and this one is no exception. I will never put anyone above my family, myself included, ever again.

I watch my wife struggle every day with me. She struggles with triggers, trust, and being able to open up to me and I have no one to blame but myself. I hate that I have caused her so much pain that continues to torture her on a daily basis.

The week ahead is what we call hell week. It's the hardest time of the year for her. I took the week off from work to help her, to distract her, and to show her that she is the only one that matters.

I will continue to say my I'm sorry's and I will support her through everything that lies ahead...

Hurtbuthoping12,

You are the one who loves and supports me through everything. I know you struggle every single day, I'm sorry I've made it that way for you. I promise to forever be here for you and never put you through any pain like that again. I love you.

[This message edited by guiltfilled11 at 10:07 AM, July 1st (Monday)]


Me - WH - 30 (Stupid selfish husband)
BS - 27
3 Amazing Children
D-day - 7/6/11
R begins - 8/29/11

Posts: 21 | Registered: May 2012 | From: guiltfilled11
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, July 2nd (Tuesday)

(((guiltfilled & Hurtbuthoping)))

It sounds like you have come far in this journey and are really working on R. I think your idea to take time off of work to focus on helping your BS through this antiversary was a great idea. Sending you both strength to get through the coming week.


Posts: 33774 | Registered: Mar 2011
Pudding
Member
Member # 37168
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, July 2nd (Tuesday)

Hugs to you both. You are doing the right thing and hopefully she will appreciate the strength of your commitment to help her heal.

Posts: 264 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: UK
Ashland13
Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday)

I wish you well and I wish you peace.

Even though you did something very wrong, your family is lucky and I envy them the change to try to be a family again. We don't have that and we lost to another family who took STBX away from us (yes, he went).

I hope it will work out the way you want and you sound very kind about your wife's suffering.

STBX made fun of mine and mocked me when I spoke of triggers.

I wish the best for you.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess


Posts: 2134 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday)

I just wanted to add that your proactiveness in anticipating her needs, speaks volumes.

Posts: 33774 | Registered: Mar 2011
guiltfilled11
New Member
Member # 35713
Default  Posted: 7:51 AM, July 6th (Saturday)

Today's the day.

It has been a daily "good week" all things considering. Ups and downs for her I know but we've stayed busy and had a lot of family time which I've thoroughly enjoyed. Today we plan on staying home for another family day by the pool.

I hope I can provide the much needed love and support for her that I know she needs today. I hate to see her in pain, especially knowing that its pain that I've caused.


Me - WH - 30 (Stupid selfish husband)
BS - 27
3 Amazing Children
D-day - 7/6/11
R begins - 8/29/11

Posts: 21 | Registered: May 2012 | From: guiltfilled11
Knowing
Member
Member # 37044
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, July 6th (Saturday)

Glad you''ve had a good week! Have you been able to get away alone together? Today might be a good day for that.


Me: BW, Him: fWH
Together 12 years
My EA (?) 2005-2011
His STA/PA: D-day: 19/09/12
TT: 08/12/12

We are in R.


Posts: 697 | Registered: Oct 2012
Topic Posts: 7