I don't think he will molest our son but who knows. So far no sexually inappropriate actions towards children and his therapist doesn't think it's a threat. However I don't leave them alone anyway (oh his excuse for the son on the bed? First he was drunk so didn't know any better and second the child was sleeping so he didn't see anything so no harm done and 3rd OW said it was okay because he's just a year old... His messed up way of thinking. He now says he is ashamed of his behaviour but I don't know if he is truly capable of realizing the extend of his actions. Oh this is the same OW who he believed was such an awesome mother....)
His influence is not good for our son. Narcissistic parents aren't good parents. He uses our son for ego stroking/narcissistic supply and other than that I believe he doesn't care or not in the way "normal" people do. He uses our son to feel good about himself and to look like a good man and father so he doesn't have to face his past actions. It's all about what he can get out of the relationship, not about giving.
I don't know yet if the courts will approve our settlement (me full legal rights, him supervised visits) Hence my fears! Nothing is set in stone. We haven't gone the give evidence route because so far it's gone amicably. He admitted to adultery (which the summons states) and is agreeing to my custody suggestion. It is not approved or final yet. I'm hoping it will all go through. We're seeing the lawyers a final time this week and then the papers are finally off to court. Don't know how much our judicial system differs from the United States so if this doesn't make sense. Sorry.
I keep wondering if he is keeping me calm or is he really okay with the agreement and looking forward to being free of us? (which is also very likely.) or is he planning something? He can still counter sue or something. Paranoid!
I don't know. I'm just so scared and anxious. Some days (today!!) more than others.
Dmari he's still very little. Can't even talk yet and therapist said se can't really work with children so young (I took him as a precaution because of all the changes happening in his life)
And yes I am ashamed of actually believing my stbxwh was changing and truly remourseful and ashamed and regretful of his actions. He is a master manipulator and liar. He has much less power over me but I'm still scared of him catching me off guard with something. He is very convincing and I do have a soft spot because I have known him almost my whole life (the whole your heart doesn't want to believe what your brain knows thing but my heart has caught up. He never was who I thought he was) so who knows if he's just stringing me along making me think the divorce is going amicably while planning stuff in the background. (Told ya: paranoid) The sad thing is he has lied so many times I wouldn't even believe it if he has truly turned around. He is still in IC so who knows? But my future is not with him.
And what can I document? At this stage he's being the "model" man and being very careful but still playing victim and as if he is perfect. Documenting things he says/do will just be a my word against his type of thing? With NPD's it's not always easy to get something substantial and he is very charming so people tend to think i'm the bitter revengeful wife. I also avoid him as much as I can so not much opportunity to document his behaviour. I have no will to police him anymore either, emails/phone or whatever. Crazy making stuff. I'm crazy enough.
Edited to try and make more sense. I realize I'm all over the place as usual when I'm venting on here