User Topic: I will die without you, even though I am dying inside with you.
Member # 32430
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, July 1st (Monday)

H and I have had some ongoing troubles lately, nothing at all infidelity related, but seems I tend to revert back to the pain when we are in some kind of emotional crisis.

Today, I went ahead and dug into all the emails we exchanged following dday. In a LONG written email I wrote, I found this sentence.

The truth is, I will die without you, even though I am dying inside with you.

It is just depressing how this was truly my reality then. Catch me on a good day and I will tell you how awesome R is. Today, I am just indifferent as I start to wonder just how much one has to deal with, with the person they married (whether it be infidelity or not).

BS(me) 32
fWH 36 (Epicallyfailedu)
OW/xBFF of 28 years
Four girls under 11
DDay: 6/5/2010

Posts: 2011 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Michigan
Member # 37575
Default  Posted: 3:56 PM, July 1st (Monday)

I hear you, your name says it all, "my heart still hurts", isn't that the truth!
I am sorry you are indifferent today but so glad you shared that. I am finding many days to be "indifferent", which I think is sad, just plain old sad.
Thanks and please take care!

Me: BW-54. Him-FWH 54. DDay June 1st 2012 cheating with prostitutes overseas
"Not everything that counts is counted. Not everything that is counted counts." Albert Einstein

Posts: 496 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Out West
Member # 26651
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)


If it gives you any hope at all, I can tell you that for us every year up to this one has been VERY hard for us and I found myself going back to that pain often. Within the last few months I've started to come out of that and the pain isn't like it used to be...yeah, it still hurts and it might always hurt, but it's lessening by the day. It does get better, it really does.


Me: FBW/30 Him: FWH/33 The kidlets: DS13, DS10, and DD8 The hounds: Four Shih Tzu's
Finally, completely R'd
Clothed in strength and dignity, with nothing to fear, she smiles when she thinks about the future.~Proverbs 31:25

Posts: 11586 | Registered: Dec 2009
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

Your words ring so true.

I hope you are feeling better today.

I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 361 | Registered: May 2013
Topic Posts: 4