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User Topic: I took a major step at IC today. Not sure how I feel about it.
Myname
Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 4:12 PM, July 1st (Monday)

So I've been going to this IC for a little bit now. Today was my 3rd visit. I think she is very good and I connect well with her.

As most of you know I've been struggling with self-harm since D-day. I've been trying to stop but I have not had the greatest success. I can control it to some extent but eventually give in. I've been able to stop for a month or two at most but I think about it every day still.

So I told the IC today about it. It was really hard to say. I don't feel all that great now that it's out there. I hate that the IC knows but I know it is important for her to have all the info even if I'm not ready to stop or do the required work. She needs to know what she is dealing with and what all the issues are.

Honestly, I feel like I wish I hadn't said anything. Like I wish I had kept it to myself. The irony is, that I feel like cutting now. I'm not going to. I have a lot of work to do before the end of the day today.

The IC asked me on a scale of 1-10, 1 being no way and 10 being all in, how much did I want to stop. I said 6. I'm still pretty wishy washy on the whole idea. I really don't want to give it up but I also know that I have to if I want to stay with my SO. And yes SO knows about my self harm.


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 36
12-08-10: S

Posts: 2772 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 4:54 PM, July 1st (Monday)

So I told the IC today about it. It was really hard to say. I don't feel all that great now that it's out there. I hate that the IC knows but I know it is important for her to have all the info even if I'm not ready to stop or do the required work. She needs to know what she is dealing with and what all the issues are.

I'm so so so proud of you! Let me tell you, it's OK that you don't feel great about it right now. Exposure seems to be one of your most deeply rooted fears, so it makes sense that instead of relief about the revelation you feel nervous. Here's what I think it HUGE - you TOLD her.

It may not seem like that big of a deal, but I think that all your small steps are really going to pay off.

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't worried about the continuing self-harm, but you're TRYING, dammit, and that's a testament to how strong you are.

AND you're coming here to tell us about it.

Myname, you're not supposed to be perfect. This IS hard, but you are doing it. It's not supposed to be amazingly easy, but even teeny steps in the right direction are steps in the right direction.

I think she is very good and I connect well with her.

Keep that in your mix of thoughts, and remember that none of us are perfect. You are making progress. You can do this.

[This message edited by Jrazz at 4:55 PM, July 1st (Monday)]


For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot

Posts: 14747 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Lyonesse
Member
Member # 32943
Default  Posted: 5:26 PM, July 1st (Monday)


This is a good step.

It makes sense you would feel conflicted about it - the SH (is there an acronym for self-harm?) seems connected to issues of stress/emotion/control and "giving up" info about this would naturally trigger those same feelings.

Maybe try to look at it in another way. I really had/have problems giving up my anger about WH's A. But I don't want to have so much anger, because I realize it is not ultimately healthy for me and will get in the way of all my relationships. Sometimes I just have to tell me I am not giving up my anger, or my right to it - it will be right there, waiting. I am just taking a break today. And then I will choose to take a break again tomorrow. (I'm sure it is what alcoholics and other folks with their "go-to" mechanisms for dealing with stuff tell themselves, too ) But it does help me give it up if I feel I am choosing not to right now, as opposed to feel like something is being taken from me.

I really hope your IC can find some good approaches to this. In the end, it will be your decision. You make the choice, you are in control - and today you made the choice to share it. I'm sure next time you meet and hear her approach it will also be anxiety provoking, but just tell yourself you are just going to hear her out. You are only committing to hearing some approaches to this, and thinking about it.

I don't really have experience with this, so I hope what I am saying is helpful and not completely clueless.

Have a great time with your SO this week!!!

[This message edited by Lyonesse at 5:29 PM, July 1st (Monday)]


Me: BS, 40's.

Posts: 1697 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: West Coast
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 5:59 PM, July 1st (Monday)

Good job! Healthy doesn't always feel natural and often isn't easy, especially after years of unhealthy. Keep at it. It's worth it, for yourself as well as SO.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13203 | Registered: Jul 2011
booger bear
Member
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, July 1st (Monday)

Oh Myname. I am so very proud of you.

This is a huge step for you, and I cannot imagine how hard it was for you.

But DAMN !!!! This is great. You have done a great/wonderful thing to help yourself in recovery.

Remember go at your pace, you set the pace. Your doing awesome.

I would find it strange if you did not feel this way after sharing this with her. For so long it was just you and the cutting, no one and nothing else.

Then we(si) came along ...

And now look where you have gotten yourself. Truly inspiring.

FYI ... I know your gonna have set backs, I will not judge you for them ect. they are to be expected to continue to learn and grow.

I'm just so happy for you ...


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18711 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here, but not there ...
inconnu
Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, July 1st (Monday)

omg sweetie, I am so freakin' proud of you! You have come such a long way, and you have shown more strength and determination than you realize.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 11992 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 6:26 PM, July 1st (Monday)

That is a huge, terrific step. I'm so proud of you.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 6:46 PM, July 1st (Monday)]




Posts: 30753 | Registered: Mar 2011
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, July 1st (Monday)

((Myname))

Big hug. Ya done good.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7038 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Myname
Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, July 1st (Monday)

Thanks guys.

I know it was the right thing to do but I regret it now.


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 36
12-08-10: S

Posts: 2772 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:05 PM, July 1st (Monday)

(((((Myname)))))


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22710 | Registered: Aug 2011
OnceInALifetime
Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 11:15 PM, July 1st (Monday)

Myname, that was courageous.

The cutting seems like an intensely personal, and even important, thing to you. You want to stop for your SO. Do you also want to stop for yourself?

There's no judgment, only concern. Please don't feel shame in discussing this with your therapist. I'm rooting for you. We all are.

[This message edited by OnceInALifetime at 11:20 PM, July 1st (Monday)]


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
heartbroken_kk
Member
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 11:20 PM, July 1st (Monday)

Great huge step forward, Myname!

It's OK that you are conflicted. It's OK that you regret telling her. I get it. You can't unring the bell.

But remember, she works for you. You hired her for her counseling. You know your self harm is a huge issue for you, and maybe you are not anywhere near ready to do anything to work on that, but you put it out there. When you are ready, she will help you help yourself.

And you never have to summon the nerve to give her this info for the first time again. It's done. You did it!

I believe your regret will fade soon. You will adjust to having this secret with her, instead of holding it in.

(((((Myname)))))


BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.


Posts: 1006 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
wontdefineme
Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 11:55 PM, July 1st (Monday)

When secrets and shame are shared you can no longer be controlled by them. Get it out and don't regret reaching out. It is time.

Posts: 2079 | Registered: Mar 2011
nutmegkitty
Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 7:58 AM, July 2nd (Tuesday)

I am so, so proud of you


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2496 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
gogirl
Member
Member # 26870
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, July 2nd (Tuesday)

Hi Myname,

So good to see you posting again!

You have done so much for yourself and I am so happy for you. Keep up the good work! I am sorry you are feeling regret over telling your IC about your cutting because I am sure it was the right thing to do.

Healing takes time and work as you know, so continue to be patient with yourself.

I hope you have a great 4th of July with your SO. You are awesome!!


It's never too late to live happily ever after.


Posts: 572 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: North
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday)

I know it was the right thing to do but I regret it now.

In this case that feeling of regret doesn't mean that you did the wrong thing. Like Ama put it so beautifully:

Healthy doesn't always feel natural and often isn't easy, especially after years of unhealthy.

So you can accept that you feel uncomfortable about this. It's ok. I know that I definitely get that feeling when I need to push past some behavior of mine that's been causing more harm than good, but there IS relief in sight if you can just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

A little discomfort now for a lifetime of building security in your mind and heart. It's totally worth it.



For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot

Posts: 14747 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Myname
Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday)

The cutting seems like an intensely personal, and even important, thing to you. You want to stop for your SO. Do you also want to stop for yourself?

Part of me wants to stop the other part of me could care less. Mostly though, I don't want to stop for me. The only part of me that wants to stop is for SO. I really don't think I'm worth stopping. I don't say that to get a bunch of people to say "Oh Myname, you are worth it." I'm just trying to figure out why I am the way I am. I still have a very deep and intense hatred towards myself.

I burned myself last night. I really wanted to cut but I didn't have time and I have a long two days of work ahead of me and couldn't risk major damage with no recovery time. I'm freaking out knowing SO will be here for a few days and I will not be able to cut or hurt myself while she is here. I hate the thought that it will not be an option for a few days. I really want to cut before she comes to "hold me over". I've been keeping myself really busy which helps but I just can't stop thinking about it.

I'm feeling very anxious about July 4th in general too. Since D-day I have always just taken a bunch of sleeping pills and slept for days. This will be the first one I will be "awake" for. I feel the depression coming on and I really would just rather sleep through the next couple of days and not face it.

I'm really angry at myself for telling IC. It was my secret and I should have kept my mouth shut. I hate having that out there.


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 36
12-08-10: S

Posts: 2772 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
confused girl
Member
Member # 10649
Default  Posted: 6:18 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

I'm sorry you burned yourself. ((((hugs))))

Do you have specific plans for the 4th? Having something specific always helps me rather than, "we are just going to hang out and be together." Plans help relieve m anxiety.

And yes, I am so glad to see you back on the boards. You offer a lot and I find when I am reading threads and your name shows up in the responses that I am relieved. You have such good suggestions, advice and compassion.


Love always hopes.

Posts: 1346 | Registered: May 2006
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 6:36 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

(((Myname)))

I really would just rather sleep through the next couple of days and not face it.

I hear you. There were numerous occassions that I felt that way, too. You have made great strides in the past year or so. Take pride in those steps.

Maybe look at the holiday as something you and SO can face together and make new traditions. Watch some fireworks on tv, make red & blue jello with whipped cream on top, talk through the triggers till they subside a bit.

Just deep breathe. Lean on your IC, SO, and us. You can do this. We've got your back.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 6:45 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)]




Posts: 30753 | Registered: Mar 2011
OnceInALifetime
Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 8:26 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

Myname, if your IC starts prodding into areas you're not comfortable with, tell her that those questions are too personal and you don't want to talk about it. Don't worry about being judged by your IC. She is your servant, not your friend. If the things she says end up being judgmental or not helpful, find a different IC. She won't discuss what you've told her with anyone unless you give explicit permission. That would be a serious breach of professional conduct. Your privacy is safe.

I can be my own worst critic as well. Start really focusing on my shortcomings and get caught up in repetitive, critical thoughts. What's helped me is to just accept that hey, some of what that judgmental voice tells me might be true, or at least have some truth behind it. But so what? All I can do is do what I can to change. Dwelling on it in a funk isn't going to do me or anyone else any good. Also, the relative importance of these negative evaluations gets way over-inflated when I let them bounce around in my head.

If that doesn't help, toss it. That approach has worked fairly well for me. Sometimes I think it's true, that thinking too much can be a bad thing, if the thinking is repetitive and offers nothing illuminating.

Also, are you on meds or have you considered meds? Sometimes it is as simple as a chemical imbalance.


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

I'm really angry at myself for telling IC. It was my secret and I should have kept my mouth shut. I hate having that out there.

I don't think you'd be telling us this if you didn't need help sorting it out.

It's ok that you told her, and it's ok that you don't like how this feels.

I'm sorry if I sound like a broken record. I just want you to hear over and over that you are going to be ok. You're at IC because you need help, like so many of us, and she can't help you without knowing important things about your heart and mind.

It's ok. (((Myname)))


For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot

Posts: 14747 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Myname
Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

IC did not force me to fess up about the cutting. She pushed a little (which I need to be pushed a little) but I could tell she was going to let me off the hook and move on but I came out with it anyway. She was really good about it. Not judgmental in anyway.

Cutting has been MY secret for so long that it just doesn't feel right having anyone knowing about it.

I guess it's that the cutting/self-harm is so important to me. I don't want it taken away from me but I know I need to stop it. I honestly feel terrible putting SO through this. She usually has a pretty good idea when I'm doing it b/c she can't get a hold of me until the morning. I'm sure it's really scary for her especially being so far away. It's not fair to her.

SO and I are going to my parents house for the 4th. Going to my parents house is always stressful but I know that b/c SO will be with me that they will not be picking out all my faults in front of her.

Thanks everybody for still being there for me even though I haven't been on for a while. I know I still need the support.


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 36
12-08-10: S

Posts: 2772 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 10:26 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

Myname, you rock! I think you are so strong for opening up to your IC like this.

I know you regret telling her now but I'll be willing to bet money that you'll be glad you told her a week, a month, a year from now.

I'm not sure about going to your parents' place for the 4th, though... if you're already struggling, maybe going there wouldn't be the best thing for you? I know it's hard there. Could you and SO maybe do something on your own?

[This message edited by wildbananas at 10:27 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)]


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15282 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Just a Cali girl
Myname
Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

SO is coming from far away and it is her first time to my neck of the woods so my parents want to meet her. She won't be coming this way too often so it is probably best that they meet now rather than another time. Like I said, my parents will be on their best behavior while she is around.


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 36
12-08-10: S

Posts: 2772 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
peacelovetea
Member
Member # 26071
Default  Posted: 12:15 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

Myname, I know you feel uncomfortable but unless you are upfront with your IC she will not be able to help you as well. Now, what can you do to replace that behavior as a coping skill? Just white-knuckling, going cold turkey is not going to do it -- you need to replace the familiar behavior of cutting with something different. Its like giving up alcohol, cigarettes, or any other "bad habit". Make a list of constructive things you can do to get that feeling of control or release or endorphin rush. I know you did well with the exercise -- when you feel the urge to cut can you drop and do 20 situps? Exercise has similar endorphins to the cutting helps alleviate depression. How about self-massage techniques? Calling your SO? Untangling a pile of yarn or wires or something -- something mindless yet absorbing that keeps your hands busy -- a jigsaw puzzle maybe.

Alternatively, for every day (hour if you need to!) put $x in a jar when you don't succumb to the urge. When you do cut, put twice that amount in. Every week/month, you spend the "I did it" jar on something fun and the contents of the "I didn't do it" jar goes to an organization that you cannot stand as punishment.

Treat it like you would treat any other maladaptive coping mechanism (says the person who just ate half a family size bag of chips ) and reward yourself when you do what you want to do instead, and punish yourself when you don't.

I see so much persistence and resilience in you, myname, and you have taken big steps. It will feel disorienting and unfamiliar and scary for awhile, but we are here with you and so is your SO. You are doing great!


BW, SAHM
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final

Posts: 526 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 1:12 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

Myname,,, would you believe that what happened in your counseling session is EXTREMELY NORMAL?

I have seen this discussed in numerous articles. A person goes into counseling, then shares something very personal. It is WAY out of the person's comfort zone and they immediately regret telling the personal information. Sometimes they are afraid/embarassed, think the counselor is going to look badly on them, etc and most people consider stopping counseling, but this is the time the person needs extra support.

I had to go to a mental health facility after what my XWH did to me. One day in group the counselor said this,

"whatever coping mechanism you have used in the past served it's purpose". It was what you needed at the time to get thru life. BUT, now it's a day where you don't need that coping mechanism, anymore. We are going to find a new way to think,,,which your thoughts come before your actions."

Also, in group if someone said, 'I always do ____or____, the group would say, "UNTIL NOW!". (fill in the blank with smoking, drinking, cutting, sleeping around, etc)...

And yes, cutting is going to be difficult to stop. Just like every addiction. One girl in my group said she could not even go thru a fast food restaurant and order a drink because she used to use their straws do snort cocaine. It was a HUGE, overwhelming, trigger. I believe like the other poster, it is going to take replacing the action with a different thought and action.

I have health insurance, and I was able to go to this treatment center bcause they filed my insurance and let me pay out the rest at 20.00 a month. It was everyday 9-3 for 5 days, and filled with normal people who have been traumatized and want to live.

Keep posting, please, we are all here 4 u.

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 1:14 AM, July 4th (Thursday)]


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 1715 | Registered: Jan 2012
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 1:20 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

Myname, I just read your profile. I can understand how the cutting started after the A. I, too, felt like that was the only way to get the pain out of my body. I went to the treatment center right before I did that because I knew I was getting into deep trouble with my actions/thoughts. But I realized , Hell ANYONE with 1/2 a brain would be severely traumatized by all this, I'm not a superwoman, I am just a regular person-- anyone would be traumatized by all this. I knew I needed help fast. At the treatment center in 2 weeks I got the most in depth help offered.

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 1:21 AM, July 4th (Thursday)]


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 1715 | Registered: Jan 2012
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

You are making great progress, Myname - even when it feels difficult or scary. Especially then.

Enjoy your time with SO.


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22710 | Registered: Aug 2011
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, July 5th (Friday)

How did it go yesterday, Myname?


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22710 | Registered: Aug 2011
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, July 5th (Friday)

How did it go yesterday, Myname?

+1


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13203 | Registered: Jul 2011
Lola2kids
Member
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, July 5th (Friday)

I have been reading a book about drug addiction. In essence the book is about all addictions. Your cutting could be seen as an addiction. It gives you a release. It helps you cope with the pain you feel. You are addicted to it. You crave it.
The brain adapts to this craving and it changes. That is why the drug addict requires more and more drugs to get the same high.
It's no different than a shopping addiction, sex addiction or food addiction.
Your brain can change and adapt to the absense of the addictive behaviour or substance.

It's going to be ok.
It's been good to see you post again.
I hope your 4th went well.
Hugs MyName.


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(9)
WS: Him 49 (X...together 12 years)
D-Day April 18, 2011, he moved out Sept. 11, 2011...
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder
I'm finding that I am growing more and more fond of his absence.

Posts: 1226 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
Myname
Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, July 7th (Sunday)

How did it go yesterday, Myname?

Things went okay on July 4th. I think my mom may have been drinking (based on how she was acting) but hid it for the first half of the day.

My parents really tried to make things nice. They served fillet mignion. Bought a game to play outside, and got some fireworks. They definitely made an effort so that was good. My mom still made a few jerky to me though and some bizzar comments in general and had an anger outburst at one point but that is just how she is when she drinks. Overall it went fine. We got through it.

SO met Burpy and Farty (my parent's dogs). SO spent most of the day sitting on the floor with Burpy. Farty is scared of everything and everyone so she is always hiding.

SO goes home tomorrow. I'm going to really miss her. It was great having her here at my place. We went out to a really nice restaurant last night. I had to dress up which is something I haven't done in years. I was a little anxious at first but got through it and we had a really nice time.


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 36
12-08-10: S

Posts: 2772 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, July 7th (Sunday)

It was great having her here at my place. We went out to a really nice restaurant last night. I had to dress up which is something I haven't done in years. I was a little anxious at first but got through it and we had a really nice time
Yay!!!


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22710 | Registered: Aug 2011
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, July 7th (Sunday)


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13203 | Registered: Jul 2011
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 5:15 PM, July 7th (Sunday)


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7038 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 6:18 PM, July 7th (Sunday)




Posts: 30753 | Registered: Mar 2011
nutmegkitty
Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, July 8th (Monday)

I'm so glad you had a nice time with her!!!

Good for you, MyName.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2496 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
confused girl
Member
Member # 10649
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, July 8th (Monday)

I keep re-reading this thread just so I can smile!

Glad your weekend went well and hope you will be able to stay busy to help with the loneliness you will feel now that your SO has gone.


Love always hopes.

Posts: 1346 | Registered: May 2006
Myname
Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, July 8th (Monday)

It will be 5 and a half weeks before I see her again. We talk on the phone every night and Skype sometimes but it's not the same as seeing her in person.

This LDR thing really stinks.


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 36
12-08-10: S

Posts: 2772 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)

Boooo to LDR but I'm so glad you had such a wonderful time while you were together.

I hope the next 5.5 weeks fly by.


For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot

Posts: 14747 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, July 10th (Wednesday)

(((Myname)))




Posts: 30753 | Registered: Mar 2011
Topic Posts: 41