Wayward Side
User Topic: Resentments/entitlement
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 10:03 AM, July 2nd (Tuesday)

Long story sort, current BS, fWW/BW to my SAWXH in my first marriage. Basically his A was when we first got married, my first was almost 4 years later. We never dealt with either of our issues. We were both the posterchild for horrible WS's, gaslighting, blameshifting, rugsweeping, took A underground and all. I ended up leaving him and along the road found remorse. I had guilt at first but did find remorse after we were divorced.

Met current WH and my own WW side never (I mean really, seriously NEVER) reared it's ugly head until Dday. Since, I have *REALLY* struggled at times with that side of me. It is back full force today and I need help.

I get hurt, from some trigger or just because it's a day that ends in Y and I am a BS. Then the resentment and entitlements kick in. I see the pattern clear as day. I *KNOW* it's faulty thinking. It feels like I am a dry drunk on days like today. I have to force myself NOT to act on these feelings. I know I won't actually do it. But how do I *STOP* the feelings from even happening or from overwhelming me?

I have done my own digging and working on me. IC, digging into MEGA, MEGA ACOA issues, figured out my why's. Current WH's A really did blow open the door on ALL my issues, from childhood on. I have worked my butt off to try and fix my side of things.

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 769 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
Member # 16024
Red  Posted: 2:42 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday)


BSs are not to start threads in the wayward forum.

Please repost in General or Reconciliation, where ever you're more comfortable.

Thank you.

Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."

Posts: 38205 | Registered: Sep 2007
Topic Posts: 2