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User Topic: Scary idea
OnceInALifetime
Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 10:20 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday)

People here have been making some suggestions for me to get out there and shake things up a bit, and I'm having a thought that sorta excites me, but mostly terrifies me: dancing.

I suck sooo bad at dancing. Not funny bad. Painful bad. Your bowels would vacate if you glimpsed me trying it.

My XW wrestled me onto a dance floor once. 10 seconds later she said we should sit back down, and that was the last time she ever broached the subject. (This is not a memory I hold against her. She was a champ. 10 seconds was an eternity.)

Thing is, if I could actually learn to dance and not completely suck, it would be proof that anything in this world is possible, that miracles can occur, and that there is in fact a loving and caring God watching over us.

If I just plain suck and there's nothing for it, what's the worst that could happen, other than getting ridiculed and shunned at every class?

I think I need to talk with Moo.

[This message edited by OnceInALifetime at 10:22 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday)]


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
HappilyUnMarried
Member
Member # 21299
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday)

One word of advice here: tequila

Even if your dancing sucks, you won't know it


True happiness comes from within, not from someone else.  Don’t make the mistake of waiting on someone or something to come along and make you happy

Posts: 1291 | Registered: Oct 2008
fireproof
Member
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 10:32 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday)

I think that is a great idea! Salsa, East Coast Swing, etc. I am not a dancer but I am always amazed when I see people dance.

I enjoy wine tastings because you can taste and wander around and then return to tasting and meeting different people.

Good luck with the classes!


Posts: 985 | Registered: Jul 2012
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 10:42 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday)

Look around your area. Often times you can find a cheap group lesson and then dance afterwards at a bar or community center. Many areas have swing clubs or salsa clubs or meetup groups that often have events with a lesson.

Or you might find that it is fun and just can't stop learning new moves and new dances. It seems that every 3 months I have a new favorite dance.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52324 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
fireproof
Member
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 11:53 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday)

Meetups are an excellent idea. I go to spend time with my friends. Since the groups have events at least twice a week you eventually see some if the same people.

People also enjoy dancing and it is fun to mingle and no pressure because you might see them at another event. I would suggest you going to ones you are interested in like wine or a restaurant that way if you don't click right away you can enjoy the experience and less pressure.

The ratio of women to men is about 8 women to every man. I will tell you the men can date a lot of women from these meetups I have unfortunately witnessed the confident ones who are aware of the ratio.

Good luck and Have fun!


Posts: 985 | Registered: Jul 2012
want_to_forgive
Member
Member # 20470
Default  Posted: 11:55 PM, July 2nd (Tuesday)

Love this! I am a terrible dancer too, but I know there is a dancing diva in me! How awesome would it be to walk out on the dance floor with confidence? Women will find it super sexy, and really it is all about finding that confidence in yourself. Not being so self conscious, letting go a little. Being confident on the dance floor says something good about someone. You go first


M 11 years
Me: BS 38 Him: WS
DDay June 2006, LTA BFFOW
Divorced April 5, 2013
Not making a decision is making a decision.

Posts: 534 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Alaska
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 12:33 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

I don't think it's a scary idea. I think it's a damn good one.

OIAL are you my X. I got him up to dance once for 10 seconds then told him let's sit down. We danced at our wedding, holding onto one another and I had to do the leading.

Seriously, I would have loved for us to take dancing lessons. When my finances are in better shape I am going to.

So go get started, and save me a dance at a 2014 G2G.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5161 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
torn2bits
Member
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 12:56 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

OIAL, I think that it is wonderful for you to gain this skill. Yes, meetups have dancing groups, however, if you are not a dancer you will need a good instructor.

You should choose what kind of dancing first, then take lessons so you have that personal experience.

I am a dancer, having taken lesson in jazz, ballet and salsa since I was 5 years old. Many women love dancing; pop, salsa and ballroom.

The proper way for a gentleman to hold a woman, even while slow dancing is a great skill to have!

You will do just fine, I am sure of it!


Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
lieshurt
Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 6:40 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

That's a fantastic idea.


Choices, Chances, Changes.....You must make a Choice to take a Chance or your life will never Change.

Posts: 13769 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 6:43 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

DO IT!


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20227 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 6:48 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

I'll spell it out for you.

1. Watch Seinfeld.
2. Learn "the Elaine".
3. Done.

Seriously, anything that gets you out of the house and around other primates is good for the soul.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7697 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

I have taken dance lessons on and off since college, and love it. One of the biggest things that attracted me to the guy I dated last winter was that he would suggest we go out dancing. Such a plus!


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13756 | Registered: Jul 2011
Newlease
Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

Most women love a guy who can, and wants to, dance!

Go for it!

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7700 | Registered: Aug 2005
Grace and Flowers
Member
Member # 34431
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

OIAL...just do it.

I wanted to dance...but had no idea if I had two left feet. So I took an introductory class at a local dance studio.

BEST DECISION EVER. Not only did I find out I CAN dance, I found out that I LOVE it.

It's almost addicting. My studio is now part of my family...everyone is welcoming and nice. And everyone learns in different ways and at different rates....so there is NEVER any "snootiness" at someone who maybe doesn't picket up as fast. At out social dances, the more experienced dancers always make it s point to dance with the newer dancers.

I only wish I had done this 10 years ago! I have never felt more alive than when I'm dancing.

And the great thing about the open/social dances is that's it's not a "pickup" scene. It's just people having fun...which is what dance is supposed to be!

Go for it!


I'm Happy, not Sad!

Posts: 1171 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: US
OnceInALifetime
Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

Believe me, the last reason I'd be doing this is to attract women. I'd just be grateful if any of them put up with me as a dance partner during the lessons.

It's just something that I've always thought would be broadening, somehow. My personality can be stiff. My dancing is rigid. It's strange, I'm a musician, but I have no body rhythm or grace.

Dancing feels like a magnification and exposure of my weakest characteristics. So this could either be a wonderful, growing experience or a huge fail


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
torn2bits
Member
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

OIAL, my sons are musicians and they had no body movement to the beat until they really, really applied themselves.

You will see, once you get a few lessons, you are going to sky rocket! You will want to jump at opportunities to dance.

Dancing is also so very good for the soul!


Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
OnceInALifetime
Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

You will want to jump at opportunities to dance.

I hope so, but I wonder. This goes so much against my grain.


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

Don't wonder, try.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52324 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

This goes so much against my grain.

Isn't that the point?


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13756 | Registered: Jul 2011
OnceInALifetime
Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

So I need some help. I've googled a bit and there are 6 billion and one different dance styles to choose from.

What I would like is some class that would help me become a comfortable social dancer. What do people actually do when they go dancing on a date? Is it like when I was a kid and everyone just gyrates and kind of bounces up and down?

Guess I'd like to start real simple, so that means Latin styles are out, I presume? I don't want to have to remember ridiculous step combinations.


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
StrongerOne
Member
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

Check the local YMCA or YWCA.

Latin dancing is fun even if you are a klutz (= me). Plus there's the tequila, rum, etc etc.

Trust me, when you are out dancing at a club, no one cares how well you are dancing except the dance nazis, and who cares what they think? At dance classes, no one cares how well you are dancing because they are so focused on how badly THEY are doing.

Go for it, dude.


DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 866 | Registered: Sep 2012
OnceInALifetime
Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

I wonder if private lessons make sense. Or is that just being a chicken shit?

I see it as sort of like going to the tanning salon before you go to the beach.


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
thebighurt
Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

I'm with ya, OIAL. Trouble is, there is no place near enough to where I am to make it feasible, at least during summer months. When I head back to my second home for winter, I intend to find a place for lessons. I want to do it for myself, too.

I once got xpos to agree to ballroom dance lessons maybe close to 20 years ago. It lasted maybe 3or 4 lessons out of the 8 or 10 I paid up front for. He REFUSED practice at home and acted very frustrated during the lessons, even though we were far from the worst there. As everyone knows, you don't ever get it or get better at it without practice!

Whenever anyone asked, he would blame me. Said I wouldn't dance. Partly true, because he would only dance slow dances. Well, at least until more recent years and I think he already had different partners for that.... and other things by that time.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2337 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

Every studio I've danced at has basic, beginner lessons. I mean, zero experience. They teach in a group, and generally, you switch partners every couple minutes. The pro is that you learn to dance with a variety of people (dancing styles, heights, etc.), but the con is that sometimes the partners aren't very good either.

I actually met some really great girl friends through my group lessons, but I had to actively seek them out. I've avoided meeting guys that way, because I've mostly done swing, and guys who are really into swing tend to be a little too out there for me.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13756 | Registered: Jul 2011
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

So I need some help. I've googled a bit and there are 6 billion and one different dance styles to choose from.

Try something like swing or an english waltz. Waltz might actually be your friend, since you're supposed to have a strong frame.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13756 | Registered: Jul 2011
thebighurt
Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

I think private lessons are perfect for me. The ballroom lessons were only for couples, so that would be out for me anyway.

With private lessons, you will learn your moves and how to hold and lead a partner. Just think how impressed a woman would be to go out there and be led confidently by you! In that way, it's better to be a man taking private lessons.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2337 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

Just think how impressed a woman would be to go out there and be led confidently by you!

This is fun and when you can lead well you can lead a novice to do stuff they don't know that's when they get giddy.

Swing is a genre of dancing. There are many forms under it. A jitterbug and a east coast (triple step) are similar you can easily learn both as the moves carry over. Jitterbug is for the faster tempos and East coast for the medium. Then there is West Coast Swing one of my favorites used in the slower stuff.

On the latin side, Merengue and salsa are very common and used in many clubs. Bachata is also finding it's way into the same clubs.

But you can branch out. If you want. I've taking private and group lessons for almost 2 years now. I've learned moves in over a dozen dances. I've been able to use this knowledge to dance while traveling to SI g2gs.

I understand your concern about being stiff. When I first started I was doing the waltz like frankenstein. Now my waltz is so much smoother. Private lessons can be pricy which is why I suggested looking for a dance lesson/"party" event because then it would be cheap. You'd get to try out the dance and it would be a dance that gets used in clubs.

If you have any questions, PM me. I'd be happy to go on and on about my experience.

BTW the toughest thing I had to do about learning to dance was entering the studio doors for the 1st time. That was the worst.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52324 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

Brilliant idea OIAL!! Dancing makes you aware of your body and absolutely present in your own skin.

It is one of my greatest joys - I'm more into 80's than ballroom but its the same connectedness and... freedom?

Getting comfortable in your own skin is absolutely the right thing to do at any age.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5576 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
notmeanymore
Member
Member # 9772
Default  Posted: 6:58 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

Ballroom dancing is on my bucket list.

I think dancing is sexy and romantic...and I mean real dancing, not the dry humping that happens on the dance floor these days.

In the town over from me they offer group classes where they claim you do not need a partner. I think it would be sort of fun to go be bad at it with a group of folks. But I'm sympathetic to why you might prefer to get your feet wet in private lessons.

In any case - do it!!!


"Put the cuckoo back in the clock baby" - Four Brothers

Posts: 870 | Registered: Feb 2006
Topic Posts: 29