Hello old-timers and everyone who healed since then,
I'm going through a shitty moment.
We've been having so much issues since So and I have bought a condo together. The constant fights with the neighbors and the way we handled them together made me realize that SO and I not be fit for each other. And my disabilities, even as healing is going well these days, have been straining our relationship for a while now. I haven't really been happy for months. We've been to MC, I've been to IC, he's not willing to do IC. I've reached the limit of what I can adapt to.
We are in such stress with trying to fix the relationship with the co-owners and fixing ours at the same time. It is too much to handle. And moving out and buying something new with a strained relashionship is a bad idea.
On paper, I have a perfect life : I live in a gorgeous place I can afford without being stretched, with a decent man, faithful, caring and loving. I am shit scared to make a mistake in letting that go. But I'm not sure we can fix all the strains coming from our deep-rooted issues (anger management on his side and anxiety and conflict avoidance on mine makes for a hellish mix).
I just need to let this sink in and see. I go from panick to crying rivers these days. Processing I guess. We sent a letter to the co-owners to trigger a mediation process with an attorney... now I just want to stop it all. Too much to handle cuts me from my emotions which I need right now to make a truly hartfelt decision on working things out or letting go.