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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: He's received the lawyer's letter - now emailing me...
AussieMum
Member
Member # 36579
Default  Posted: 9:57 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

So STBXH finally received the lawyer's letter requiring him to provide OW3's address within 7 days and also starting the property settlement wheels in motion.

He immediately emails me, requesting a change to 50/50 care of the kids. Ha! Transparent much?? The letter stated that because I have the children more in my care, the settlement is to be adjusted in my favour (60/40). There are no formal parenting orders in place as yet, but since he moved out in Jan 13, the children have become used to the care arrangement (6 nights with him per fortnight, 8 with me).

STBX works full time but obviously now wants OW3 to do all the running around wtih the kids. But mostly he's thinking of the $$$$$, no doubt about it.

What's the deal here? Should I respond or is this all up to my lawyer now? I have emailed her also.

I wish he would just drop off the face of the earth - sigh.


Me 46
ExH 51
EA Jun-Aug 12 (OW1)FB flirting and then EA/PA with OW2 (Aug-Dec 12). New OW Jan 13, introduced her to the kids immediately.
Married 10 years, together 14yrs
2 kids (DS11 & DD7)
Separated Jan 13. Divorced Jun 14

Posts: 180 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
inconnu
Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

let your attorney handle it.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12144 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:10 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

Should I respond or is this all up to my lawyer now?
Lawyer lawyer lawyer.

Crickets to any direct communications about the settlement or custody.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25062 | Registered: Aug 2011
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:14 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

Don't respond. Forward all contact from STBX to your lawyer.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9538 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 10:42 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

Let your lawyer handle it. Do not discuss this stuff with him at all as he does not have yours or your kids best interests at heart so anything he says or tries is for his benefit.

60/40 has nothing to do with custody arrangements. It's about disparity in income and future earnings - plus if you've been a SAHM or part-time your future earning capacity has been impacted.

60/40 is generally the standard split in Australia as spousal support doesn't really exist and Child Support is laughable. I get $8k per year when he earns c$250k+. If I had the girls full time that would increase to $15k which is a joke. This figure is Australia-wide so does not tke into consideration that Sydney is faaaar more expensive than the rest of the place.

The calculator stops at $120k so I could pursue him if I needed to but he's paying all school before/after school expenses so it works out for me. If he refuse to pay I could get it via CS adjustment based on special circumstances of a) his income being more than double mine; and b) additional costs outside the scope of "normal" costs.

CS doesn't have anything to do with asset split.

DO NOT PANIC unless/until its time to panic. He can try on whatever bullshit he likes. You could go at him for costs if he fucks around too much.

I asked my L for a worse-case scenario (what a court would award) - once I knew that I wasn't as fearful. It has ended up being that worst case scenario because he is a fucktard who is hell bent on destroying me financially becaus he didn't quite manage to destroy me emotionally.

Keep emotions out of it - you won't get vengeance or justice and neither will he, no matter how hard he'll try.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5535 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)

It has ended up being that worst case scenario because he is a fucktard who is hell bent on destroying me financially becaus he didn't quite manage to destroy me emotionally.

This is my situation, too. STBX told lots of people that his goal was to only have to provide the minimum CS, if any at all, and hopefully no SS. He went so far as to blatantly lie under oath during our divorce trial, something that apparently is no big deal these days (I have proof of his lies, but will never have an opportunity to tell anyone because no one cares). His lies helped him pay less in SS, and possibly CS.

It is imperative that you not discuss anything like this with your STBX. You are now at war. He is now your arch enemy. Don't help him defeat you.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9538 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 2:46 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

t/j NG, your L doesn't care that he lied and you have solid proof? Or is it one of those loopholes these parasites love to use?

The sad clown keeps understating his income. For some reason he doesn't include his all expenses paid company car, petrol and parking spot (they are included here as income under FBT). He is apparently a CFO - I can think of several acronyms that don't include accounting industry lingo.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5535 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 3:35 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

t/j NG, your L doesn't care that he lied and you have solid proof? Or is it one of those loopholes these parasites love to use?

No, does not care. We met a few days after trial and I had printouts & photocopies of bank statements, doctor reports, insurance records, and on & on. Solid proof that the things STBX said were not true, proof that the budget he submitted to the court was false in the extreme. I was told it was too late and didn't matter anyway since it's expected that people lie on the stand. I apparently have to live with the fact that STBX pulled a major con job in court and will be getting away with it. He's gotten away with everything. Destroyed my life, destroyed my hopes & dreams, destroyed the children's lives, continues to try to alienate the kids from me, ruined their chance at a proper education, ruined their chance at college, and he gets to walk away with his head held high & reputation intact, a high paying job, and continue to cheat & defraud the women he meets on online dating (and wherever else he meets women). Meanwhile I'm reduced to accepting charity.

On the upside, one reason I am so financially destitute is because I paid for that parenting eval and got custody of my kids because of it. So it was money well spent. But dayum if it doesn't hurt.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9538 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:11 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

That doesn't sound right at all NG - have other L's told you the same thing?

I would also ask the question of another few Ls that if he lies and you pursue him even after D surely he would have to back-pay discrepancies?

[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 6:12 AM, July 4th (Thursday)]


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5535 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
curiouswiz
Member
Member # 34405
Default  Posted: 7:23 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

Yeah...I think you should consult another attorney NG.

Doesn't sound right to me either.

Hugs kid and happy Fourth of July!


God bless us, everyone.

Posts: 633 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Boston
Topic Posts: 10