User Topic: R is not linear
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, July 4th (Thursday)

It's been a rough week or so with a few blow ups sprinkled in here and there. I know the next two weeks will have its moments. Going "home" always does even in good times.

My H "talked me down" at 5:30 am today. I was throwing my underwear in a bag when I didn't really want to be doing that at all. I had to stop and listen and just settle down. I bit my tongue as karmahappens suggested a few days ago. It was the right thing to do. He was really trying.

Anyway, we all have to remember that R is not linear. We go forward, we go back but then we go forward again and again. We will get there.

Slow and steady wins the race right?


[This message edited by LA44 at 8:16 PM, July 4th (Thursday)]

Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2459 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Member # 39210
Default  Posted: 11:50 PM, July 4th (Thursday)

I want a like button, because just yes. I wish I could just stay on a straight path. The backs and forth is just exhausting. Slow and steady wins the race......

'You just keep living, until you are alive again'
'I don't want perfect, I want honest'

Posts: 331 | Registered: May 2013
New Member
Member # 37042
Default  Posted: 12:27 AM, July 5th (Friday)

Sounds just like my life right now...I'm 9 months since I found out. I too have been "throwing my underwear in a bag"...seems once every three weeks or so. I try to stop and look back at the progress and not concentrate on that "trust" thing too much. Baby steps.

"Tell the truth, or eventually someone will tell it for you."

“Change happens when the pain of holding on becomes greater than the fear of letting go.”

Posts: 6 | Registered: Oct 2012
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 8:03 AM, July 5th (Friday)

I am glad you got through it.


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3846 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
New Member
Member # 36922
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, July 5th (Friday)

Needed to read this today. Things have been great- just got back from a lovely vacation together that we needed. Then...boom, crash, etc! Back in the pit this week.

Just breathing right now!

BS: Me
WH: Him
DDay: 12/24/2011
In R as of: 3/2013

Posts: 37 | Registered: Sep 2012
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, July 5th (Friday)

When I was at your point, I packed the car up twice. I haven't don't that now in a long time but R is not a straight line

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA
Trying to reconcile

Posts: 1647 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now.
Member # 33956
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, July 5th (Friday)

just yesterday, i told him he could "get the f out." and meant it. up and down. that is for sure.

BS (41):(Former Doormat)
WS (39):(Busted Cheater)
Married: 10 years, 3 kids under 5
DD1: 10/11 PA/EA with pilates instructor/former stripper.
DD2: 10/12 False r, cheating with other women, online dating,Substance abuse issues.
R:Last chance

Posts: 988 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Alabama
Member # 32900
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, July 5th (Friday)

I have not seen anything linear in my life since we had kids LOL. You are so dead on right R is not linear. I’ve know even when my W is doing everything right I still go sideways and backwards and forwards and summersault.
Glad you were able to find a path that worked

Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your behavior does.

Posts: 1135 | Registered: Jul 2011
Topic Posts: 8