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User Topic: Help understanding some terminology in online dating forums.
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, July 5th (Friday)

So in talking with someone about OLD forums, I've run across confusions on what certain body styles seem to mean. So I'd thought I'd throw in out here to see what you all think. So if you could please let me know what you think each term means when applied to a woman and a man. Here are the choices from one site

Thin
Skinny
Average
Fit
Athletic
Jacked
A little extra
Curvy
Full figured


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

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Posts: 51517 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
broken2
Member
Member # 16935
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, July 5th (Friday)

Moo, I'd love to help you on this one, but I'm one of the confused as well. I'll sit back and watch what others post. Maybe I'll end up with some clarity. I find it varies from person to person as to what these different types mean. It's kind of like the beauty is in the eye of the beholder thing. Same could apply to body type, what one finds as average another may find as thin.

Posts: 2030 | Registered: Nov 2007
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, July 5th (Friday)

In my experience, most women figure out which category would logically define them based on the common usage of the terms, and then size down one.

Men are a little more hit or miss.

The hardest to define, IMO, are:
-"average" - because the average woman is a size 16 or something nowadays, but the placement on the list does not indicate a woman that large, being as it's between slender and fit.
-"curvy" - our society seems to think curvy=lumpy, and while it obviously doesn't, some women still define themselves that way

It also took me a long time to figure out what "jacked" meant. My understanding is that it means body builder/extremely muscled types.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13566 | Registered: Jul 2011
Whalers11
Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, July 5th (Friday)

Are you asking in terms of describing yourself? Or in the case of someone's profile saying they are seeking someone with an athletic body type, and then someone else trying to figure out if they fit that type so they know it's worth it to send an initial message or not?


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2179 | Registered: Feb 2010
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, July 5th (Friday)

I would describe myself as 'curvy'. I've been told men read that as 'fat'. There seems to be a disconnect somewhere.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 19806 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Mandilwen
Member
Member # 27186
Default  Posted: 1:05 PM, July 5th (Friday)

I would say I'm a little extra through process of elimination. I'm not thin, fit, skinny, jacked, full figured, or athletic, lol. To me, curvy is that hourglass shape, rocking some hips and a booty. I sort of got that, but throw in my tummy and it throws it all out of whack,


BS-34; WXH-32; DS8; DS3; OC3
DDay: SEPT 2008
Divorced: JUNE 2010

Posts: 318 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Indy
lieshurt
Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, July 5th (Friday)

Thin
Skinny

These mean the same thing to me. I think Calista Flockhart when I see these descriptions.

Average

No extra weight at all, but not skinny either.

Fit

Same as average, but able to climb stairs without getting winded and has a bit of muscle tone.

Athletic

For some men, watching sports qualifies them to say they are athletic. However, to me, athletic would describe a Fit man who actually physically participates in sports. I think of Matthew McConaughey.

Jacked

Bodybuilder....Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

A little extra

10 to 20 lbs overweight

Curvy

Kim Kardashian body before she got pregnant.

Full figured

Fat or bbw


Of course, it depends on each person's perspective. What some people think is full figured, others may think is average. There isn't one set definition for each one. That's why current, full body photo's are a must.

[This message edited by lieshurt at 1:14 PM, July 5th (Friday)]


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13647 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
OnceInALifetime
Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 1:10 PM, July 5th (Friday)

I'm with Ama, that "average" is essentially meaningless. I've dated women who listed themselves as average who are very overweight, and other women who list themselves as average who are very trim.

Anyway, from my experience, as women apply to themselves:

Thin - exactly that, and not particularly strong

Skinny - never seen a woman label herself as such

Average - could be anything

Fit - doesn't really apply to weight, but rather how often she goes to the gym. Could be trim, or could be on the heavier side, with the common denominator that she is healthy, strength and endurance-wise.

Athletic - not necessarily trim, but one step more "fit" than fit. This is someone who gets regular exercise, and likes outdoor sports.

Jacked - never seen a woman described herself this way

A little extra - a lot extra

Curvy - sometimes used truthfully, which means hourglass. More often means big everywhere.

Full figured - overweight


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
SeanFLA
Member
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, July 5th (Friday)

In my experience most people think very highly of themselves...too highly. Many women present themselves as "athletic and toned". You look at their profile and it says they work out two times a week. Umm...I'm sorry but walking on a treadmill two times a week for 30 minutes or participating in a bowling league doesn't qualify as athletic and toned in my sense. If you are running 40 or 50 miles a week or play tennis four times a week or on three separate teams, yeah no problem there. I just put average for myself. I think many of them forget that there ARE pictures attached to their profile that we all can see.


BS(me) 48
WW 46
1 son 14 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

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Posts: 1456 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
Newlease
Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, July 5th (Friday)

Interesting. So many possibilities.

I'm 52 years old, 5'3", 155 lbs. I exercise in fits and spurts. I try not to eat excessively. Would I be "a little extra" or "curvy?"

Just 2 years ago I had a fairly flat stomach - that's gone - my curves have gotten bigger. When I see a picture of myself, all I see is boobs and butt and think - when did that happen?

During XWH's A and for a few years after the D, I was "fit," "athletic," and working towards "stacked" (for a woman anyway). That was all due to the infidelity diet and exercise to relieve stress.

Now I'm fat and happy - my "therapy" is riding a motorcycle which doesn't really get rid of any calories!

I'm really trying to be healthy - not for looks as much as I don't want to take any medication for blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.

I think these body type labels are definitely in the eye of the beholder. And personally, I would be harder on myself than someone else.

Good luck figuring it out!

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7644 | Registered: Aug 2005
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, July 5th (Friday)

In my experience most people think very highly of themselves...too highly.

I think the opposite.

I spent many years learning to look in the mirror and love what was there. So I can say that today I think well of myself. And I PROMISE you I am looking for a match that sees at least what I see in the mirror.

Now, I know this is purely a superficial/physical descriptor and my comment may be off the main topic.

But at what point do you cast aside what the package looks like and see if there is a fit on any other level that makes your EYES see differently?

How exactly would a person in a wheelchair describe themselves? If they work out are they stacked? Is that misleading??

If a person has Multiple Scelerosis or Muscular Dystrophy do they highlight that in their profile? I don't think so. I think it is unfair to expect people to trot out the flaws and ask someone who has not yet even met them to like them in spite of those flaws. That is what a friend does. And not everyone online is destined to be a friend.


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FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5611 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
lieshurt
Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, July 5th (Friday)

But at what point do you cast aside what the package looks like and see if there is a fit on any other level that makes your EYES see differently?

I find this to be a rare occurence. If their physical appearance is just unappealing, then no matter how good of a personality they have, it won't overcome the lack of physical attraction.


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13647 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 5:07 PM, July 5th (Friday)

I am 5"3, hover around 128 (+/- 5 pounds), a size 4/6. I walk 4 miles a day about 5 days a week and lift weights. I used to list myself as "average", but asked a few men and they told me to list as "slender"...so I do.

I consider my body average, nothing great about it. 2 kids, 6 surgeries, I know where I carry my extra weight. So...average...to me. But slender to others. I do have a "body shot" in my profile.

But, I have heard men complain that "average" is more than likely "overweight".

I see most men list as either "athletic and toned" or "stocky"...doesn't seem to be much in between...unless tall and thin.

Only one man (out of 8 I have met) tried to downplay his weight...but you can't miss an extra 40 pounds.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

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Posts: 4033 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
cayc
Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 5:31 PM, July 5th (Friday)

My profile listed me as "athletic" but based upon these descriptors I should have listed myself as "jacked"! Who knew???

When I was OLD I never looked at the side bar descriptors except to see if they listed religion or education. Re body type I went by the pictures. And I wasn't too particular, I just had to think you were cute regardless of body size.


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3003 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
newnormal
Member
Member # 21925
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, July 5th (Friday)

Maybe this is a thread jack but what do the various intents mean? And does the meaning change depending on which old vendor you use (plenty of fish vs Christian mingle)?

Looking to get married
Actively seeking relationship
Just friends
Not looking for a relationship
And what ever other categories they list?

Thanks


BS 43 (me)
FWH 48
D-day 9/07

Dont retreat, reload.
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Posts: 1033 | Registered: Dec 2008
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 8:29 PM, July 5th (Friday)

New normal- I don't give much credence to what a guy says they're looking for. No matter what they put, in my experience, they want to get laid with no strings attached.

I know that there are men out there that really DO Want a long term relationship, I just haven't met him yet.


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There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7430 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Topic Posts: 16