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Reconciliation
User Topic: OW made effort to see my 13yo daughter
Peanut5
Member
Member # 36051
Default  Posted: 5:36 AM, July 6th (Saturday)

I need some advice. We have sent her a no contact letter. At the parade this year, my daughter was on a float. She pointed her out and waved to her and was making a large effort for her to react and respond. She was with other people so I am sure it was a bit of an effort to add weight to her lies that she tells others and herself ( she had filed a harassment order against me which had zero validation and was thrown out) Anyway, this upset my daughter. I was glad she told me. I have only told her that this woman doesn't want dad and I to be married anymore and wants to replace me. I am sure when she is older she will have more questions and figure things out but I am determined to keep her dad in a favorable light in her mind and eyes. I am fearful of the OW having no qualms about approaching my kids now that I see that she made an effort this past week. What should I do? forget about it? I don't want her to know it bothered me...but also it bothered my daughter. and she said she hid behind her friends on the float and avoided her. so sad...that made me sad she had a painful moment during a day of fun for her. Do I contact a lawyer?

[This message edited by Peanut5 at 10:39 AM, July 6th (Saturday)]


Posts: 102 | Registered: Jul 2012
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 6:33 AM, July 6th (Saturday)

You might contact your local police via their nonemergency line if you are willing to divulge your story. Since your daughter is a minor, there may be some anti-stalking law in effect. I'm sorry your daughter has to be impacted by this crap.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20273 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Knowing
Member
Member # 37044
Default  Posted: 7:39 AM, July 6th (Saturday)

I''d be upset as I''m sure you are. I wouldn''t contact a lawyer or the police just yet since your daughter sent her a clear message by ignoring her, and that is your daughter''s natural response to unwanted attention, and her prerogative.

If say, down the road the OW did try to make contact again, maybe once or twice more I would warn her by letter that she is crossing the line into harassment and depending on the circumstances call the police non-emergency line, as suggested above.


Me: BW, Him: fWH
Together 12 years
My EA (?) 2005-2011
His STA/PA: D-day: 19/09/12
TT: 08/12/12

We are in R.


Posts: 698 | Registered: Oct 2012
cliffside
Member
Member # 38803
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, July 6th (Saturday)

This is a pattern, correct? Didn't she cover your sons eyes in the grocery store? I would go to the police, tell them everything and see what they say. She is young and crazy. Bat shit crazy. It's better for your local police to know what's going on so if she does show up someplace again you can call them and they'll have the background.


Me: BS 39
Him: WH 41
2 Kids
D-Day: 2/3/13
Broke NC 3/14
Very skeptically in R for now...

Posts: 269 | Registered: Mar 2013
Peanut5
Member
Member # 36051
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, July 6th (Saturday)

You are correct. She even said hello to my kids when I took them to a restaurant. It upset my oldest again. I am concerned for her future run ins. I know this is the horrible aftermath of an affair. I understand the pain but I want to protect my daughter and my other two. This woman clearly is thinking only of herself and not my daughters emotional wellness. Do I have a chance to keep her safe? Is this futile and just my reality? I want her away from my kids forever. Do I sent a letter? Antony have any wisdom? Experience?

Posts: 102 | Registered: Jul 2012
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, July 6th (Saturday)

I realize this may not be the best advice..Im angry,triggering,and having a shitty day..but...the next time she attempts to talk to,or touch,your kids,I would say,very loudly,"Do not speak(or touch) my children. If you do I am going to call the police. You are unstable and your attention is unwanted. Leave MY kids alone!"

I would be loud enough that I would make a scene and embarrass her.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7672 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Lucky
Member
Member # 6864
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, July 6th (Saturday)


I think you have grounds to file a restraining order. She is crossing several lines, and laws, by harrassing and touching your children.

Don't wait for her to make another attempt - the next one might be dangerous.


♥ WINE - the other fruit juice! ♥


Posts: 36162 | Registered: Apr 2005
Getting to Happy
Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, July 6th (Saturday)

THIS^^^^ is the voice of reason. A restraining order is in order.

It is relatively inexpensive and legally binding.

Please don't wait too long. You will feel better about doing something that can be enforced. Maybe you can let you DD know in an age appropriate way that you have taken measures to help her to feel safe.


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1140 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
Knowing
Member
Member # 37044
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, July 7th (Sunday)

I didn't know there was more to this. I agree with PPs that it is time to contact your local authorities.


Me: BW, Him: fWH
Together 12 years
My EA (?) 2005-2011
His STA/PA: D-day: 19/09/12
TT: 08/12/12

We are in R.


Posts: 698 | Registered: Oct 2012
Topic Posts: 9