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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: How to kick him out?
Athena1979
Member
Member # 39393
Question  Posted: 6:48 AM, July 6th (Saturday)

This is the third time I have caught my husband using prostitutes. But just the caught part...

When I investigate, it has been multiple times over the past months.

The first time I kicked him out, I wrote a letter.

The second time, I talked to him face to face.

This time....I don't if I can talk to him face to face.

I kind of want email him on his phone moments before I disconnect his service.

What do you think is the best way to tell the WS to hit the road?

Any pros cons to letter versus face to face?

Btw...this is my house I bought before marriage so I can't leave. And he's working on a porno with one of his prostitutes but has others from backpage he will use in between becoming a 'movie star'.

I just don't think I can stand having him look me in the eyes and straight up lie to me...more!

I'm going to get legal advice and a counselor thus week- to get my head on straight. That was my mistake the last 2 times. I wasn't prepared for the emotion.

I want to get this done by next week.

Please help with suggestions!

Thank you...thank you....thank you!


Married 11/11/11
Together since 3/2005
2 kids
D-day 12/27/12
D-day 4/12/13
D-day 6/26/13
God keeps the devil on a short leash. God will never give you more than you can handle.

Posts: 111 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Athena1979
Take2
Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, July 6th (Saturday)

Why bother to confront at this point - Hefty bag his stuff, change the locks, have him served - (not necessarily in that order). That should say it all.


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4112 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
realitybites
Member
Member # 6908
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, July 6th (Saturday)

Totally agree with Take2. Get prepared first with an attorney but even then just hefty bag his stuff out of the house and change the locks. The shock value alone is priceless.

You don't need to give him notice. He has been told long enough. Now just make plans for how you want to go on with your life.


Posts: 5610 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: florida
Athena1979
Member
Member # 39393
Default  Posted: 9:00 AM, July 6th (Saturday)

I was thinking of having my brothers come over in the morning with him at work.

And get all if his furniture and things out of my house and in the yard.

(We live in small town with neighbors we all know. Not likely things would be stolen)

And let him know anything left in my yard by the next day would be sold.

I'm all for not having to say anything to him.


Married 11/11/11
Together since 3/2005
2 kids
D-day 12/27/12
D-day 4/12/13
D-day 6/26/13
God keeps the devil on a short leash. God will never give you more than you can handle.

Posts: 111 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Athena1979
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:05 AM, July 6th (Saturday)

If left handed I recommend the left foot. If right handed I recommend the right foot.

But... I don't condone violence so what Take2 said.

((Athena1979))


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5419 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 9:20 AM, July 6th (Saturday)

I think having your brothers help is a great idea.

When "asking" my husband to leave the second time (days after he moved back I had another d-day), I just told him to get out. He took what he could carry in one carload. That might be an alternative, too. A simple, "Get out. You have an hour to get what you need from this house."

Legal? I dunno. No one's challenged me.

I'm really sorry for your pain. My husband used prostitutes, too. It adds a unique level of ick to the situation. Millions of hugs to you.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8326 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
phillygirl
Member
Member # 9078
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, July 6th (Saturday)

I wouldn't put his stuff on the lawn. Too much potential liability.

I would pay first month's rent on a storage unit, put all his crap in there, and then have one of my brothers give him the key. I would take pics of all of the stuff and have a list of all of the stuff. That way he can't accuse you of anything.

Then he has thirty days to do whatever he wants to get his stuff.


Me - BW
Him - WH
Divorced - 7/2013

Posts: 824 | Registered: Dec 2005
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, July 6th (Saturday)

I went for Shock 'n Awe. Hefty bagged his shit, changed the locks and had a process server waiting for him when he got home. I took back control!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9286 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Housefulloflove
Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 5:22 PM, July 6th (Saturday)

I read your previous post about Mr. Porn Star and I would get an emergency locksmith to get the locks changed immediately, put his shit on the lawn and don't answer the door for him. If he is out of the house right now, do it now while you are still angry enough to act on it! If he's home, the minute he steps out the door make it his LAST time stepping out of that door because he won't be coming back in.

I went for the face-to-face approach and we both owned the house so it wasn't as simple as changing the locks when he went to work. He could legally break back in. It was 2am on a weekday morning and I suddenly knew I couldn't handle looking at that cheaters rotten face one more second (oh, and he had started contacting OW in my face which helped greatly in getting to that point!)

So I literally followed his dumb ass around the house saying "Get out! You have to go now! You can't stay another day or even another night! You gotta go because..and because...and because.." etc. etc.

Despite how dumb he is he managed to grasp that my voice was going to be the soundtrack of his life until he packed his shit and hit the road. I didn't care where he went and actually suggested that he give OW a call to see if he could stay with her!

His relationship with her was largely built on his delusion so he didn't even bother to call her to stay there, probably because he knew she would say no and encourage him to try to stay with me like she had been for weeks at that point! Idiot. OW made it clear from the beginning that she didn't want his foul ass and was just in it for *fun* but his stupidity mixed with arrogance made him assume it had to be something more.

As soon as he started packing I laid down and was out like a light from emotional exhaustion. I wasn't sleeping or eating for over a month at that point and my mind, body and soul knew that *FINALLY* I could rest because that malignant asshole was gone!

The sooner he is out, the better. A man with no empathy or remorse is like living with a vampire. Every minute he is around you he will suck the life out of you.


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
Athena1979
Member
Member # 39393
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, July 6th (Saturday)

Wow - houseoflove!

I love the idea of just following him around, until he leaves.

Anything I can do to annoy him, will reap satisfaction for me!

I have the locks ready to be installed.

I was concerned about liability of stuff on the lawn. No matter he deserves having broken stuff, I'm sure a judge would think otherwise.


Side note:
I was looking at my husbands phone this morning and checking browser history.
In between sexmagazine.com was "6 ways to handle your difficult wife" and "how to treat severe depression".

Another side note:
Anyway, anyone see that picture of the house with a bunch of stuff in the yard, wig a sign that says "divorce sale. Everything goes. Cheap."
And there's a policeman there. It's m mental picture of what could happen if I did that to his stuff.

I appreciate the advice.

Does anyone have any advice from experience, as well?

What happened when you kicked a WS out?

How did you do it?

What would you have done differently?

[This message edited by Athena1979 at 7:01 PM, July 6th (Saturday)]


Married 11/11/11
Together since 3/2005
2 kids
D-day 12/27/12
D-day 4/12/13
D-day 6/26/13
God keeps the devil on a short leash. God will never give you more than you can handle.

Posts: 111 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Athena1979
Topic Posts: 10