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Reconciliation
User Topic: Time for phone spyware
doesitgetbetter
Member
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, July 6th (Saturday)

I posted a while back about two weird pictures that were on my H's phone. They looked like innocent profile pics that one might have on their work email, nothing risqué or otherwise alarming. I deleted those pics myself, found out that a few people here have the same style of phone and their phone randomly downloads pics as well. I though, ok, I dodged a bullet on that one.

There haven't been any other pics on his phone until 2 days ago. Granted, I don't look at it every day, but I look at it at least once a week. So when I checked it 2 days ago, I saw another similar photo, a pic of a woman standing in a parking lot holding a soda, pictured from head to mid calf. Still looked like a profile pic of some sort, but probably not a work one as she was wearing some summer attire.

I didn't say anything to H about seeing the pic. On the 4th, a neighbor came over while we were lighting off fireworks and H wanted to show him a pic on his phone and I was standing right next to him. He pulls up the pics, and I can see this profile pic plain as day. H shows the pic he wanted to the neighbor, and then that was that. I wanted to see what would happen as now I'm fully aware that H knows that pic is on his phone also.

So the next day I check his phone, the pic is gone. He deleted it without coming to me and showing it to me and questioning where it came from. So I asked him about it last night, all I said was "what happened to the picture". He knew what I was talking about and said "I deleted it, I figured you'd seen it already". I said that it did not matter if he "thought" I had seen it, he didn't know for a fact that I had, and him deleting it before me for sure seeing it was a huge violation. I also told him how it was so unusual that these "glitch" pictures just happen to ALL be of the type of woman that he likes to chase, and not a single man in the group. He said "I'm sorry" and tried to snuggle, I told him not to touch me. He leaves the room to go to the computer room and I'm thinking he's researching glitches on his phone to see if this is a common issue. Nope, he's just doing work. Comes out and acts like everything is normal.

We go to bed, I basically 180'ed him all night. Lights go off and he rolls over and says "I'm sorry I deleted that picture, I'm sorry I didn't show you". And that was the last word to be uttered by either of us all night.

So I guess I'm back to having to put some spyware on his phone to see what he's really up to. I'm still so confused because the time stamp on the pic was from 2012, and he didn't even have that phone in 2012 and I'm positive it wasn't there a month ago when we had the initial problem with it. The phone isn't really being helpful with details about where the pic came from and when. So I need to get some spyware on there so I can get it all figured out properly and make sense of it, but it really pisses me off that I even have to worry about this. Why couldn't he have just kept his freaking pants on in the first place?!?!?!?! GAHHHHH!


DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
boontje
Member
Member # 33247
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, July 6th (Saturday)

I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope it turns out to be nothing. In the meantime, I am Sending thoughts of strength to you ((digb))


Me: BS
Dday: June 2011
Working on R, one day at a time

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
― Ernest Hemingway



Posts: 950 | Registered: Aug 2011
Getting to Happy
Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, July 6th (Saturday)

GAH!!! When will it ever end...???

Okay, could you tell us what kind of phone it is?

I'm still so confused because the time stamp on the pic was from 2012, and he didn't even have that phone in 2012...

He must have downloaded it recently. HUMMM

and I'm positive it wasn't there a month ago when we had the initial problem with it.

Totally get this^^^you are not crazy, be he is a known liar...

The phone isn't really being helpful with details about where the pic came from and when.

Call the local data recovery shop. Tell them what kind of phone it is, when the pictures were deleted and that you are looking to retrieve them from the erased part of the SD card in the phone. Ask them if the files that they can mine will have a time stamp and perhaps the original info from the pic...you never know unless you ask...


So I need to get some spyware on there so I can get it all figured out properly and make sense of it

I guess you know not to tell him about the spyware.

I say you just snag the phone for a day, it gets 'lost' for the day while you data mine it. You may need the phone and you will need the password for sure...

It could have gotten lost...


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1140 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
doesitgetbetter
Member
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, July 6th (Saturday)

Thanks.

It's a Droid Razr M.

I know that the pic had to be downloaded recently, like I said, it wasn't there a month ago for a fact. But when I clicked on the info on the pic, it gave a date of Feb 2012 (and his phone DOES have the correct date on it), and it gave some extra web type info for where the pic came from. I read the web type info, and nothing said anything that I could recognize, like a website or an email extension or anything. Just so confused about those stupid pics!

He doesn't password protect his phone, and he's never protective of it either. I've randomly checked on his phone now for almost 6 years (since DDay), and he's never blinked an eye, even yesterday. I have no doubt I will be able to get a spyware on there just fine, and in fact he would be ok with it if I did as well. I just can't stand the idea that this really could be nothing, and I'm going out of my mind over a technical glitch and making our lives miserable because of it. Mind you, if it's not a glitch, then I won't feel bad for making our lives miserable.... he'll deserve that and THEN some. You get my point though.

I'll keep the data mine for later. He knows I saw the pics a month ago and if he was foolish enough to chat with someone and get more pics once, then he'll do it again (only he'll know to delete them before he gets home this time). If it IS a glitch, then surely that will happen again in the next month or so like it's happened before, and all will be good again.

It just really sucks that I completely lost my 10th anniversary because it was a few months after DDay, and now our 15th anniversary is just a few weeks away and now I don't feel like dealing with it either.


DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
Kalliopeia
Member
Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, July 6th (Saturday)

are you able to download these photos to your computer?

If you can, then take the image and do a search on google images. if he got it online ( from a profile) google will show you that profile.

I don't know if you want to know WHO these people are, but there is a good chance google can tell you.


Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
doesitgetbetter
Member
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 11:15 PM, July 6th (Saturday)

Kalli, that's a great tip! I'll do that for sure!


DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
Topic Posts: 6