Off Topic
User Topic: Is this odd?
Member # 34835
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, July 7th (Sunday)

Ok, so let me first say I've been wanting to ask this for a really long time on here but haven't. I don't talk to my family at all. I don't know my real dad at all. My mother hated me so much I was supposed to be aborted or dumped in a trash can but I guess thankfully my grandparents found out and told her they would take me in. I have a huge family but all the ones that loved me have passed away. I don't talk to any of my siblings or relatives. The feeling is mutual as I don't talk to them.

Here is my odd question. Is it weird that I actually feel like you guys are my family and friends?? I don't have many friends and being that I have no family, I come on here a lot and just read about you guys. I don't always comment but I usually read what you have to say. I feel a little closeness even though I wouldn't know you if I saw any of you.

I"m having a bit of emotional moments lately. I've detached from my family BUT I miss having a family that is close. I'm really close to my in laws and they just love me to pieces. All my closest friends live 20 hours away or more. We all have our family and our life going on so it's so hard to communicate. It's also hard because where I live at, I have only lived about 8 years and most of my neighbors are elderly so I don't really talk to them too much.

I know a lot of you don't talk to your family or just don't have a big family so I thought you could relate.

So, am I weird for coming on here and feeling happy that I'm "around" you guys?

Posts: 232 | Registered: Feb 2012
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, July 7th (Sunday)

I don't think it's weird, but then again, I know a number of people that I met online, and really only know them from online, but I consider to be my friends. I was just thinking early today, while on facebook, that I wouldn't have some pretty amazing and awesome people in my life if it weren't for the internet.

Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect

Posts: 12166 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, July 7th (Sunday)

(((A & A)))

I don't think that's terribly weird...

I have made very close ties to two women I met here when I first signed on and we have maintained our ties thru all these years.

I was just commenting to one friend how it seems as our kids have grown up overnight since we've known each other. I haven't met her in person yet, but I will one of these days...

Another girl came to visit me once and even tho she is no longer active here, we have maintained close communication. In fact, we text daily about our lives.

I'm not all that close to my family either... I have completely cut ties with my mother and this alienated me from my family.

I have people near by who I am friendly with, but not "close".

I get a real sense of friendship from the people I've met here.

Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24597 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Member # 34835
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, July 7th (Sunday)

Thank you both for replying.

I haven't made "friends" here yet. I figure it takes time and if I do, I do. I just enjoy being on here and talking. I feel part of something again and I have no clue why.

I had a few friends I met online when I had my ds 10 years ago. The one I never met and we've remained friends and are close. She lives on the West Coast and I'm on the East. The other friend I met lived 1 mile from me and we became BFF. Well, we were BFF until she had her 2nd ds and went off the deep end. She up and left her children and never came back.

I miss having a family and miss having close friends nearby but it's nice having somewhere I can go to and feel some normalcy.

Posts: 232 | Registered: Feb 2012
Sad in AZ
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 8:36 PM, July 7th (Sunday)

I am on the 'outs' with most of my immediate family at the moment and for the foreseeable future, but I have a very large, extended family and a great core of very old friends (one goes back to 1st grade.) Yet, I've made some amazing friends here on SI and a lot of really good acquaintances.

I look at it this way; we have something huge in common, just like families do. Don't fight it; enjoy it.

I would suggest that you try to make it to a g2g. It's amazing how good you'll feel.

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20292 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Member # 34835
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, July 7th (Sunday)

Silly question but what's a g2g?

Posts: 232 | Registered: Feb 2012
Sad in AZ
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, July 7th (Sunday)

Get together. Go down to Fun & Games and check the postings. There are a few in the planning stages right now.

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20292 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Member # 34835
Default  Posted: 10:35 PM, July 7th (Sunday)

Oh my gosh! Thank you so much! I'll take a look and see if anything is happening in my area

Posts: 232 | Registered: Feb 2012
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 10:54 PM, July 7th (Sunday)

I was just saying the other day to one of my confidants here on SI that I have the relationship with this site that I wish I had with my parents. SI gives constructive, tried and true, supportive feedback. This community is encouraging, realistic, heavy with life experience, great listeners, willing and able to help with everything from questions about algebra to interpersonal relationships to career to changing the lightbulbs in my kitchen that keep flickering. It's exactly how family ought to be.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 1558
Default  Posted: 5:34 AM, July 8th (Monday)

I have built lasting friendships with people at SI, friendships that I know will continue for decades into the future, if not to the end of our lives.

One person in particular and I have never met IRL, although we hope to to at the Austin, TX g2g this autumn. We text daily about the kids, our in-laws, etc. A few weeks ago I was having a mommy meltdown and left the house to cool off. The only thing I could think to do was to drive to a nearby park and send her a text, which she immediately responded to. She told me to cry, shared a story of her own, then made me laugh. Talked me off the ledge completely.

I would never, ever have texted a family member at a time like that.

I don't think you're odd. I think you're choosing your family. For many, choosing family instead of forcing a relationship with actual blood relatives is the SANE choice.

“If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
"Great love requires determination." ~ tryingtwo
"Don't try to win over the haters, you're not the jackass whisperer." ~ Brene Brown

Posts: 14040 | Registered: Jun 2003 | From: Middle-of-Diddly, TX
Member # 34835
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, July 8th (Monday)

Thank you all for responding to me. For some reason I like to get on here and see how you guys are everyday. I used to call my family but I don't anymore.

I don't feel so odd anymore. I'm happy to see I'm not the only one who feels the same. Thank you again!

Posts: 232 | Registered: Feb 2012
Member # 38288
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, July 8th (Monday)

I also don't have close family ties we rarely talk and when we do it's "how are you? I'm fine. ok, bye". They live in the midwest and we moved to CA 10 yrs ago. I went into deep depression not having anybody to talk to.

I now have some not so close friends here, but nobody to call and say "hey, lets go shopping" and to talk about our lives. I to feel like SI is my social life at the moment. I might plan a g2g here and see what happens. That was a good idea.

My IC said that the internet is good to find friends, but you need them IRL. We are working on me trying to join clubs, volunteering and other things to get me out of the house and meet people. But it's hard for me. I don't work, I'm afraid to drive and afraid to meet new people on my own.

Just keep trying. And post here often. I know it helps me.

BW 55, WH 64
2 years of prostitutes.

Posts: 281 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: California
Member # 33732
Default  Posted: 11:33 AM, July 8th (Monday)

Not odd at all.

I haven't here but I now have a group of GF's that formed our own board, although most of us had never met.

I feel closer to them than most of my family. So it can happen.

Him - FWSO
OW - DBC Xwife
DDAY 09/14/11 ONS w/DBCxWOW with 4 mos EA
Solidly in R

Posts: 1005 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: MA
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 12:01 PM, July 8th (Monday)

It isn't odd at all. I've made a few good friends from this board as well as a scrapbooking board that I used to belong to. I'm still friends with them today and my kids call one of my friends Auntie even though we've never met in person (she's in Australia). She's been with me since the start of my mess and she is closer to me than my own sister. So I do understand where you're coming from.

Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Topic Posts: 14