Just Found Out
User Topic: Dday #2 I hurt and confused
Member # 39616
Default  Posted: 8:27 PM, July 7th (Sunday)

Well. I am right back to square one. Dday was June 3rd, just a bit over a month ago. Wont bore you with all the details. Hubby cheated, and lied and even gave his whore money. Her hubbyy busted them. Been on the roller coaster since. Past week hubby has been texting another "friend" alot and deleting everything from his phone. I got smart and checked phone records. The "friend" msged me today and said my hubby has been trying to flirt with her, even asking her if he and i split would she "get with him", she says she said no, because she is married to. Said she is blocking my hubby from everything cause he wont listen. Sounds about right. I knew my gut feeling was right. There is also a few others he is texting. I havent confronted him yet about the inappropriate texting, he just got home. And seems moody of course. Partly because i found a strange number today, that he had texted about 50 times in 2 days, and its an ex sis in law. Funny she never gave me the number, hmmm. And he got hateful because i asked of course. So since i found out hubby is still trying to hook up with other women, is this all part of dday 1, or is this a new one? I feel like ive been ran over all over again.

~Me~ Blindsided wife, age 37
~Him~ XWH, age 37
~Son~ age 14
~Daughter~ age 18, special needs
~Dday~ June 4th 2013
~him: several affairs during our marriage both emotional and physical, latest physical affair in may 2013~

Posts: 85 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: brokenhearted76
Member # 38511
Default  Posted: 10:42 PM, July 7th (Sunday)

Just wanted to offer support. I think this is a new one and it's a pity. You offered to give him a second chance and he's blowing it. I would 180 him and fast. Please hang in there it is late and others will post tomorrow.


Me, 42 BS
H, 61 WH
2 boys 19 and 15 years old
Married 24 years

Posts: 314 | Registered: Feb 2013
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:49 PM, July 7th (Sunday)

I'm so sorry. This is so much bigger than a one time thing.

Please take care of yourself and build up those walls. We're here for you.


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17851 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
New Member
Member # 39733
Default  Posted: 10:50 PM, July 7th (Sunday)

First of all ((((brokenhearted76))))

Yes, absolutely, without a doubt, no question about it - this is another DDay. This is NEW information about a NEW OW that is sending you into yet ANOTHER world of hurt.


I agree with Josephine. Time for a complete 180.

Good Lord what are we gonna DO with these poor excuses for men????

Me (BS): 36 Him (WH): 35
Married 12 years (Each other's 1st)
Children: 9, 8, 6, 3 and 1 month
DDay#1: March 2008 EA turned PA (kissing, holding hands)
DDay#2: August 2012 (ONS with kissing on lips and certain body parts)
Hoping for true R.

Posts: 15 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Phoenix9
Member # 39616
Default  Posted: 7:46 AM, July 8th (Monday)

I am trying to 180 the best I can. I try to not speak to him at all right this minute. And i refuse to initiate a conversation. He was warned the other day that he needed to step up and grow up! Then, last night the friend forwarded all the texts to me that hubby had sent. Im devestated. Hubby says "he was just playing around" ummm no! You dont "play around" and ask someone to have sex with you! He was trying to start affair #5 or 6, im not sure of the count. Im counting this as dday #2, it certainly feels like it.

~Me~ Blindsided wife, age 37
~Him~ XWH, age 37
~Son~ age 14
~Daughter~ age 18, special needs
~Dday~ June 4th 2013
~him: several affairs during our marriage both emotional and physical, latest physical affair in may 2013~

Posts: 85 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: brokenhearted76
Broken hearted61
Member # 34931
Default  Posted: 7:54 AM, July 8th (Monday)


Does it really matter what number it is? He is a lying, cheating scumbag. You don't deserve this!!

BGF (50) me
WBF (50) him
DD#1 02/23/2012

TT 03/19/2012
Working on R (03/21/2012)
It's over: 5/5/12

Posts: 223 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
New Member
Member # 38955
Default  Posted: 8:00 AM, July 8th (Monday)

Ugh, sorry to hear what you are going through. I went through the same thing with my hubby last year. Found out that he was cheating for years and when i tried to still stick around, he was trying to still talk to "new friends" this past march. It was devasting to find out again and specially bcuz back in march of 2013, i was 7 months pregnant...just had our daughter a lil less than a month ago. It hurt when i found out the second time but not as much as the first time. I guess i was expecting it again but was being indenial that it would happen again. Now i wonder if ill still around if i find out again of another situation. Hang in there please, we can only take so much, but we'll now when the right time for us to step up and leave is.

Posts: 3 | Registered: Apr 2013
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, July 8th (Monday)

If he is still texting OW then he is still cheating. You cannot R with an unremorseful spouse. It sounds like he has no intentions of stopping, so the question is what are you going to do? How many DDay's will it take for him to know that you will not put up with it. I know exactly how you feel and I had several DDay's myself. My WH knows if I catch him one more time, then that is it and I will file for D. I already would have if my health wasn't so bad right now.

M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 8