User Topic: Opinions are like...well, you know
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, July 8th (Monday)

Everyone has them...and some of them stink to high heaven. Right now I am PISSED off at my mom. Divorcing, reconciling, limbo...where ever we were at aside, her stance has been the same. I should rug sweep and I should forgive immediately. It was my "duty" to be the strong one and forget everything for the family. Tonight took the cake. She told me that if I wanted this marriage that I should never bring the affair up to him again. Needless to say I hung up on her and won't be taking any calls. It's a good thing my parents live in California. Anybody know where I can get a bathtub size amount of sangria?

Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

Posts: 1727 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 6:58 PM, July 8th (Monday)

Wow. Just wow. I'm sorry, TCD. We both know you need to do what is right for you. We've got your back.


Posts: 35891 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 29130
Default  Posted: 7:05 PM, July 8th (Monday)

I am sorry ((tcd))

Me: BW Him: WH
Married: 12 yrs
2 DDs and DSs all under 10
2 Affairs - 2010 year long PA/EA, 2008 2 month online EA
Multiple D-Days

I can only control myself, no one else. I do not have that kind of power.

Posts: 4509 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Back home again in Indiana
New Member
Member # 39767
Default  Posted: 7:22 PM, July 8th (Monday)

Sorry you are dealing with that...recovering from an A, whether you r or not, is hard enough. When your family doesn't have your back, that just hurts. Sending you hugs. Hang in there and do what is right for you.

I am the BS, his LTA lasted almost 5 years. Ended immediately on dday. In reconciliation.

Posts: 25 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: DriveMeCrazy
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, July 8th (Monday)

Sounds to me like that's mamas advice because that's what she did. And for the record she is horribly wrong. Try not to be angry with her try to feel sorry for her. She just doesnt understand what a healthy relationship looks like.

Sangria. Yum!!

Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8713 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, July 8th (Monday)

Old school ways I think. A long time ago women didn't have many choices. I don't know if anyone listens to country music but Tammy wynette had a song "stand by your man". It is sickening to hear now. Forgive him because, he's just a man. Basically sex him up more then you will win him back. Ughhh. Luckily my mom is a " give him the gate if he's mistreating you" kind of mom. I'm thankful because what you heard would be very upsetting. I'm so sorry but looks like no support on that end as far as M issues.
Been with him over half my life
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank

Posts: 5134 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, July 8th (Monday)

Thanks everyone. You'd think as a former psychiatric nurse she would know better. I don't know if it's because she doesn't want to see me hurt and to her it's the easiest way...if it's cultural (she is Chinese)...or if she is being a freaking moron right now.

Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

Posts: 1727 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, July 8th (Monday)

Hugs TCD - that hurts. I know my mom would back me up because my dad was a cheater - but I can't even tell her because she has a huge mouth and can't keep a secret to save her life. It would be juicy gossip for her. I know this because she broke my brother's confidentiality during his marital crisis years ago. It's so hard to not even have your own mom in your camp.

40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller

Posts: 638 | Registered: May 2013
Topic Posts: 8