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User Topic: Phone calls from affair week-end?
RightTrack
Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 11:22 PM, July 8th (Monday)

Did your WS call you while they were in the middle of screwing around? I was thinking of this after reading about compartmentalizing and how "he never thought of me while he was with her". Hmmm, he called me every couple of days in between sex sessions to continue the lie about his work week-end. He bought the kids and me t-shirts from one of his destination screw week-ends (bought AP a shirt matching mine. How cute!). He bought me a guilt gift of a laptop after his plane landed after another week-end. It looks to me like he thought of me plenty of times during his get aways, he just didn't care much or he got off on getting away with it.

Posts: 621 | Registered: Sep 2012
twokids
Member
Member # 23266
Default  Posted: 12:40 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)

Yup, my WH would call me during their weekend trysts, and chat me up like everything was a-OK.

He'd wait until he had a few minutes by himself, so as not to reveal to OW we were in contact.

Typical lying cake eater.


Me: BS, 56
Him: WH, 50
5+ DDAYS; 10+ OW
Two sons, 16 & 18
M 19 yrs - detaching to divorce
In-house Separation since 7/2012

Posts: 393 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: California
LivinginLimbo
Member
Member # 35004
Default  Posted: 6:56 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)

Apparently I called him once when he was "busy". The whore blogged about how she gave him a blow job while he was on the phone with me.


BS - 62
FWH - 60
Married 34 years
D-Day 2/12/12
Doing well with R

Posts: 1041 | Registered: Mar 2012
TrustGone
Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 7:31 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)

Yes. He called me everynight while I was working out of state. He had her living here, so I know she knew he was talking to me as I called him also. I am not sure what excuse he gave her when he told me he "loved me" while they were happily engaged to be married.

I have never bought into the fact that the WS didn't think about their BS while they were with the AP. They can't turn their life and thoughts off and on like that. I think it is more they were so selfish that they rationalized their A to themselves and made the BS out to themselves and the AP as a really horrible spouse, when they knew that it wasn't really true. It was more important that they got their ego kibbles to feed the addiction. It is sad and I think one of the things I find the hardest to come to terms with. How can you love me one minute and be screwing someone else the next minute in my own home?


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
shatteredheart7
Member
Member # 39734
Default  Posted: 8:08 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)

My FWH has told me that he always pretended that she was me. Not sure I believe that, but IF it is true then what a shot to her ego! I know I am better than her. There is no doubt in my mind. And he is with me now 100%, completely, and wants nothing to do with her.


Me~40
FWH~46
Married 8yrs
Together 11 1/2
Me~ 3 kids, 21,17,14
Him~no kids
A with a mutual "friend" for 2+yrs
He confessed 9/9/12
A was over 2/12
7/13~ Happier than we have been in yrs!

Posts: 240 | Registered: Jul 2013
RightTrack
Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)

shatteredheart7, I guess that's something I need to remember too. Still, the "how could you?" factor is high.

Posts: 621 | Registered: Sep 2012
musiclovingmom
Member
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)

I know I called him. I had taken our 9 month old son to the dr to find out that he hadn't grown at all in 3 months. I was frantic. It had been almost exactly a year since my daughter had had an appendectomy (she was 3 at the time), and that only compounded my stress. He offered to tell his boss he needed to come home. I told him not to because all we could do was wait for lab results. I kick myself for that every day.

Posts: 1084 | Registered: Jan 2013
AFrayedKnot
Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 8:34 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)

Yep, she called me at 9pm while I was working out of town to tell me she loved me, that she was tired and going to bed early, and we would talk in the morning. All the while knowing he was on his way over to our house for sex.


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2600 | Registered: Aug 2012
shatteredheart7
Member
Member # 39734
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)

Right track, I still wonder how he could do it. I honestly have never asked why. I know why so never felt the need to ask. Clinical depression can and does really mess with a persons mind, NOT that I think its an acceptable excuse. But I doubt I will ever understand HOW! Not only because I know he loves me and that he always has but because even if he had been single she isn't someone that he would have been with. She is nasty, doesn't take care of herself, ugly, no teeth (not even false ones) he calls her the toothless hag. I have asked him if he had to put a bag over her head. He said it was always "doggy style" so that he didn't have to look at her and it was easier to pretend she was me that way. I'll never understand "the how"


Me~40
FWH~46
Married 8yrs
Together 11 1/2
Me~ 3 kids, 21,17,14
Him~no kids
A with a mutual "friend" for 2+yrs
He confessed 9/9/12
A was over 2/12
7/13~ Happier than we have been in yrs!

Posts: 240 | Registered: Jul 2013
stillhere09
Member
Member # 24924
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)


He was several states away from home, about to meet his ex for the first time in 20 years, using the excuse that he wanted to see his son. (He ended up seeing his son for a few minutes, and her for half the day - at least!)

Anyway, after his plane landed and he was only minutes away from seeing her, the two of them texted each other like crazy. I saw on the online cell bill. In between all these texts, he sent me one text: "Happy Birthday." Yep, it was my birthday. When I saw how he squeezed it in between texts to her, I was glad that I had not responded.

He used to call me all the time when he was about to go to lunch with his ho-worker. He did that so that I would not call him for a while, and he could have lunch with her uninterrupted. When I caught on to this, I made sure I called him 10 minutes later.


Me-50 BW
Him-55,STBXWH

Walk a Mile In My Shoes
Married 14 yrs. Now Separated & in NC
2 grown DD's - his from previous M
4 grown kids (2DS, 2DD) mine from previous M


Posts: 3020 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Ohio
doesitgetbetter
Member
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 10:44 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)

My H never dated any of the OW and only met one of them 2 times that weren't for just sex (this was a quazi EA only). Anyway, he would be talking to me on the phone, get an incoming call and tell me it was a customer, he'd hang up with me, talk with OW, then call me right back. Or he'd be talking to OW, I'd call and he'd hang up with her to talk to me, then he'd call her right back when he was done talking to me. Makes me sick.


DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
SoVerySadNow
Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)

It kills me, but WH (on a business trip) called me between flirting/picking up OW and taking her to his hotel room. Yet, he claims not to have thought of me at all. Even when he told her he had a newborn daughter at home.
So yes, he called. But slightly earlier than he would have because he was meeting her. Didn't want to mess up his wonderful evening, I guess. Ugh. (where's the ripped out soul emoticon?)

[This message edited by SoVerySadNow at 10:57 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)]


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
notquiteoverit
Member
Member # 32919
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)

He called me five times a day while he was on his 4-day expedition with the OW. He says that she knew he was calling and only asked that he not do it around her. It always baffles me that there are women out there who would stoop this low.


Me - BS 50
Him - WS 49
SOW - 52 destitute loser
D-day 1/28/11

Posts: 575 | Registered: Jul 2011
SoVerySadNow
Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)

It always amazes me when they construct boundaries:
she knew he was calling and only asked that he not do it around her

T/j over.


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
Blameitontherain
Member
Member # 37476
Default  Posted: 3:44 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)

I talked to my WH every single night while he was away training. So on the nights she would come over to his hotel room for their fuckfest where he claims he never orgasmed, he had just gotten off the phone with me. Telling me how much he missed me, how much he loved me, how he wished he was home, etc. every night was a slap in my face. How can you screw someone within hours of talking to your wife? Oh wait. Because you told yourself no one would get hurt. What I didn't know wouldn't hurt me. How about the std I tested positive for? That sure didn't hurt me at all! How about the hate and loathing you had for yourself the 4 years you kept it hidden from me? Yep that hurt no one. The way you excluded yourself from the family for 4 years because "you didn't deserve us"? Even when I didn't know, it hurt the whole family. We just had no clue why you wanted nothing to do with us. That didn't hurt us at all. I don't know if I can get over that.

Posts: 273 | Registered: Nov 2012
RightTrack
Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)

T/J away! That's the other part of their phone calls isn't it? What was the OP doing while they were calling us? My WH says his MOW would call her husband at the same time. I guess when there was a "lull" in the sex she would say, " let's call our spouses now!" I just can't imagine any of it.

and then there's the calls made during important family events. Don't tell me you weren't thinking of your family when you were calling Whorebreath from your 1st grader's birthday party, or from the Cub Scout picnic or from our anniversary dinner.


Posts: 621 | Registered: Sep 2012
whatnow8
Member
Member # 36576
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)

Yup. And not just him. But his last AP was a friend of ours, so there were times I was on the phone with her when they were together.


wtf?? How insane does your life have to get that you want to polygraph your freaking HUSBAND. ~ OldCow18

It's hard to make a decision when you're too tired to hold on and too in love to let go. ~ unknown


Posts: 178 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: midwest
Topic Posts: 17