We often speak of the way our BS's trigger but of course it's certainly true that a WS can have triggers too.
For me, I always felt that having sex in a car would be a huge trigger. The AP and I had most of our encounters in her vehicle. Because of this, I specifically told my BS that sex in a car would be a trigger for me.
But there is one thing that I found out about this trigger tonight and I felt that sharing this might help others.
Sex in a car with the AP was out of necessity, not out of want. In the beginning I'll admit there was some excitement to having sex in a car with the AP but that wore off quick. I ended up feeling kind of dirty doing it this way and was constantly fearful of being caught. Yet, the sex in cars continued anyway... out of pure necessity.
Tonight, after a long evening in the city with my BS, desires took over and she asked me to touch her; which I did. I first thought I would trigger on this but low and behold.. it did not happen.
Eventually, it got to the point where we did find a dark secluded spot and made love in the car. I was initially fearful that I would trigger and not be able to perform but this didn't happen. I realized that it was because I WANTED to have sex in the car. I wanted my BS so much and wanted her then and there. It was not out of necessity.. it was out of a true desire to be with her and even in the car.
My BS and I had some very memorable moments in the car when we were young and stupid. I feel that having sex in a car with the AP stole the good memories my wife and I had built previously. Tonight, my BS helped me to take back those memories.
So I say to other WSs out that that may have there own triggers of some kind. You are not alone. Just as a BS talks about taking back some of the things they feel the affair stole from them, you too can do the same.
Good luck... and thank you to all the BSs who have the strength to help their WSs with a trigger even though we may not deserve the help. Me: WH
What defines us is how well we rise after falling.