User Topic: How did you handle the breakup of WS and AP?
Member # 25838
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)

It's finally happened after so many years of their nasty fights, I really don't know much details but he said something like, "You know such and such and I are not together and she's got to pick up the rest of her things from the apartment." I'm just numb to the whole situation anyway, I don't feel any kind of emotion. I've been through alot in the past 6 years or so. I've just keeping going on with my life.

How did you guys handle it? Did you gloat, did you party...
...Or did you say, " I told you so!!"

Posts: 477 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: New York
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)

I felt pretty good.. Till they got back together a week later. Apparently him cheating on her wasn't a dealbreaker. I'm sure that 1 week made him learn his lesson

xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2335 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 11:38 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)

I'll let you know when it happens.

*taps toe impatiently*
Where IS that stinking Karma bus??!!

Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin

Posts: 919 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:39 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)

I think I said, "Ok." And when I hung up the phone, I went back to washing dishes.

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25765 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)

Last I heard, my XH and his OW/gf are still together, but if he ever did feel the need to tell me they'd broken up, all he'd get was crickets.

He's such a nonentity in my life.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)

How did you handle the breakup of WS and AP?

Which one?


Fidelity isn't a's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!

Posts: 21071 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)

At this point, I would throw a party. I don't care what he does after this, but I want that woman gone.

He would inevitably come crawling back, so I hope I would have the strength to kick him in the face.

BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 739 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
Sad in AZ
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)

I'm with Ama; he's pretty much a nonentity in my life. I have a feeling they broke up for a while but may be back together? Honestly, I don't care.

My only 'concern' would be if they ever marry; I really don't want to deal with them as co-grandparents to MY grandchild/ren

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20292 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 1:10 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)

I could care less if they are together since I stepped off the crazy train, but we don't have kids, so he is cleanly out of my life. Back around the time of D she was still with her BH and he told me she had just used him. I laughed. For a few months after he would send fishing emails with cryptic updates. I guess he figured out I could give two shits because he finally quit.

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

Posts: 3459 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
Member # 27186
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)

Relieved! I kept getting calls from the sitter and neighbors making sure I had the kids cause she was punching my ex on the front lawn.

There was a time that he had to bring my kids back to me, along with the OC, because of the wifetress craziness. I know she has been diagnosed BPD and has previous manipulation attempts at suicide.

They are technically still married, but she's been overseas for two years now. I found out from my former mil, that they got into a physical fight and he told her he should have stayed with his first, true family...Glad all that drama is over, but only cared about it because of my kids.

BS-34; WXH-32; DS8; DS3; OC3
DDay: SEPT 2008
Divorced: JUNE 2010

Posts: 318 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Indy
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)

It hasn't happened yet though if they do I would feel relieved for my kids and I suspect xWH would be relieved also.

Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1778 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)

I was pissed because they blew up my life and DD's life for no good reason. Their stupid fantasy tru lurv could not stand up to the cold face of reality.

But then I was like "eh, who cares. Not my problem anymore"

Now they are back together. X is unemployed and has been ill and he is sponging off OW and the national health system in the UK. Again, not my problem.

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17688 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 5:51 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)

I will feel 'here we go again'. He would be imposing the next iteration of "the one" on my girls within a month or two.

I'm kind of hoping this one wastes her 20s/30s on him - that he wastes his 40s/50s on her. Better the devil you know - as they say.

[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 5:52 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)]

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 7:24 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)

ex and wifetress just got married earlier this year, so I doubt a breakup will be happening any time soon, if at all. If it ever happens, then oh hell yeah, I'll gloat. To myself. And to my sister and friends. And probably laugh about it with my kids.

I really don't want to deal with them as co-grandparents to MY grandchild/ren

although this is probably quite a way in the future for me, yeah, that's the issue I've got now that ex married OW. I've already made it clear to my kids that I will be the good (aka cool) grandma, when the time comes.

[This message edited by inconnu at 7:26 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)]

Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect

Posts: 12166 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)

I'm still waiting for it to happen. If/when it does, I will privately do a happy dance, but it won't affect my life in any way. I think my kids would be so relieved.

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5297 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)

I had several reactions:

First, which AP? XWH was a man whore, so there were a number of them.

Second, I reacted with an eyeroll and a "here we go again". Before I remarried, I didn't need to be told when XWH was short on female attention, because when there was an open position, he'd start texting and IMing me with attempts down memory lane. WTFever.

[This message edited by GabyBaby at 8:48 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)]

Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.

Posts: 6540 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Member # 36579
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)

I'd be gloating but crickets to him. Although I imagine I'd probably put something sarcastic on FB Sometimes I just can't help myself....

But I would also be worried about my kids. He introduced them to OW3 as soon as he moved out and they quite like her (as much as it pains me to write that - it could be a lot worse if she was a bitch to them). They are now all living at her house. If STBXH and OW3 split, then it's yet another wrench for my poor kids.

Me 46
ExH 51
EA Jun-Aug 12 (OW1)FB flirting and then EA/PA with OW2 (Aug-Dec 12). New OW Jan 13, introduced her to the kids immediately.
Married 10 years, together 14yrs
2 kids (DS11 & DD7)
Separated Jan 13. Divorced Jun 14

Posts: 180 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 31656
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)

XWW told me that OM dumped her after his divorce was final. Ours was final one month later. I don't even know if I believe many lies about him.

It really doesn't matter. She still has no interest in fixing all of the damage she caused. It does piss me off to think all of the pain she put me through was all for nothing

Me -BH 48
Her-WW 40
D Day #1 9/09 (found out about friendship, she promised NC...she lied)
D day #2 1/11 (found out EA on going...she lied)
D day #3 4/11 (found out EA was a PA...still lying)
M 16 years, 3 kids
Divorced - 1/13

Posts: 106 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 3:10 AM, July 10th (Wednesday)

I doubt he would tell me. My kids would, and I would be happy for them. I think they would be happy the gatekeeper to their father would be gone.

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5279 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 3:33 AM, July 10th (Wednesday)

I believe that I have no fucks which I could give.
But, my feet are swollen & I can't get these bitch boots off ....

Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 766 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, July 10th (Wednesday)

When XWH#1's AP dumped him after I filed for D, I was happy. She was only 18 and not the brightest crayon in the box. She was smart enough to know that his money source (me) was out of the picture and he couldn't dish out money to her anymore. He has since had numerous low life GF's. I don't even care at all anymore and haven't in years. He will never find a better woman than I was and he threw me and his family away for nothing, so he can now only get low lives to give him the time of day. I smile everytime someone tells me of his latest GF and then their breakup.

M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Member # 35901
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, July 10th (Wednesday)

I was happy in a sadistic sort of way, but mostly annoyed that true love only lasted two months. Also was annoyed because it helped make life for the kids more unstable.

Her current boyfriend is a decent guy.

Posts: 204 | Registered: Jun 2012
Member # 30803
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, July 10th (Wednesday)

Really well, actually.

A long time ago, I figured when their relationship failed (because let's face it, it was doomed from the start), I'd have a party, shout it from the rooftops and/or dance in the streets. I did none of these things. Truthfully, I couldn't bring myself to do any of it because I just didn't care.

Detachment really is a beautiful thing, folks.

Me ($39.95 plus S & H)
DS1(17), DS2(15)

Enjoying this chapter in my life.
Learning that being alone does not mean being lonely.
Discovering that where I've been is not as important as where I'm going.

Posts: 355 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Right Here, Canada
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, July 10th (Wednesday)

You mean before or after I broke into a spontaneous chorus of "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead?"


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29666 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 4:36 PM, July 10th (Wednesday)

It happened 6 months after our D was final. He tried to come back to me, but I was so DONE by then.

He said she wanted it to be like they were dating all the time and he just couldn't keep that up. DUH! When the illicit nature of their relationship was brought into the light of day without the wife (me) around, it fell apart. I wasn't happy or sad - just thinking to myself - "I told you so."

The positive is that I never had to deal with her at family functions or anything like that. He has had other GFs and even another wife since then, but they make no difference to me at all. As long as they are good to my kids and grandkids, I could care less.


[This message edited by Newlease at 4:36 PM, July 10th (Wednesday)]

Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7744 | Registered: Aug 2005
Member # 8795
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, July 10th (Wednesday)

Mine told me, "now I understand how you felt." In other words, she was cheating, I guess.

My response was, "no, you have absolutely no idea. We are married - it's completely different."

And I then told him I didn't want to hear anything about any of it. We weren't friends, and I had no urge to hear anything about any of it - the only reason I was talking with him at all was to get a settlement agreement signed and in place.

It didn't matter at all to me (and I'm glad, too, since I was told later that they broke up and got back together at least once every couple of weeks, with her kicking him out and him living with his parents a few days each time.)

Too much drama. All I wanted was to have all of the mess out of my life.

Posts: 2405 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Maryland
Member # 25838
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, July 11th (Thursday)

Update: Apparently according to DD, Miss Chickadee Mistress is not handling breaking up so easily. She was constantly sobbing and texting WH...who knows her voodoo might work and get him back...
Is it normal that I don't believe their fully done with each other?

Posts: 477 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: New York
Member # 18222
Default  Posted: 8:12 AM, July 11th (Thursday)

The first 3 times they broke up I was really happy.

The 4th time, I was not. He had been bringing her to the kids soccer games and stuff. They were talking marriage. I saw her daughters (11, 7,5 yrs old) about twice a week at that point, every week for several months. And, those little girls were desperate for attention. They would run to my (now) husband and I and cuddle and ask to come over. They'd wrestle with H. They'd ask me to braid their hair. They'd sit on our laps for the whole game. It was SO painfully obvious they just wanted love and attention. They asked their mom if they could just do like my boys, and live with us and visit them on the weekends. The breakup followed shortly after and she moved far away.

I don't think their mother was good for my boys, and in that respect, I was glad it was over. But, it's been about a year now, and I still worry about the girls. I didn't want those three out of my life.

Me-29,Two boys, 10 and 9

It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end

Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.

Posts: 4491 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Indiana
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, July 11th (Thursday)

Cat, that's pretty funny. When waffle informed me of his first (alleged) break up with MOW, that was the first thing that came into my head too.

BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 739 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, July 11th (Thursday)

OW left him damn near the same time I kicked Ex out. It happened so fast that I'm pretty confident that any sort of serious relationship between them only existed in Ex's head.

In my head a little Nelson voice said "Ha Ha!" but I really had no outward reaction other than anger. I was angry at all the crap he had just put me through and to see that he did that in pursuit of a delusional relationship disgusted me further. He wrecked our lives and what we built for our kids for something that wasn't even serious. It made me sick that I married someone so pathetic. Still does.

Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
Member # 36726
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, July 11th (Thursday)

She and the AP just got engaged a few months ago. Less than one month after our D was final. I'm hoping she goes through with the marriage so she removes my name from hers since she doesn't deserve to carry my last name. Then they can break up for all I care. If he'll cheat with a married woman he certainly will cheat on a married woman. Whatever happens, not my problem any longer.

BH me 46
WW her 38
DDay 8-17-12
2 kids (12, 9)
Filed for D 9/14/12
Divorced 4/17/13
She - engaged 5/13 married 9/13

Posts: 560 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: PA
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, July 11th (Thursday)

She re-married her BXH (which one of that crazy love triangle was more stupid??)

I felt smug, because it was obviously a blow to Wxh's ego that she left him. Other than that, meh.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7772 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Topic Posts: 32