Just Found Out
User Topic: 2 weeks as of today
New Member
Member # 39728
Default  Posted: 7:45 AM, July 10th (Wednesday)

Hi again. So it's been two weeks since I found out that WH has a woman in another country. He also JUST landed in that other country for business. He goes there all the time so it's not like he would have stopped going.
I do know that I'm over this marriage but it still hurts to know that he's there with her but calling me and sending texts as if we're moving past this. There have been no " I love yous". I think he's actually conflicted. He wants his freedom and I want to rebuild my life. The problem is that divorce will be very complicated for him since he makes the money and has the investments. I'm sure he's considering keeping this smooth at home just to avoid that mess.
However, I can't stay with a liar and a cheater. I'm worth so much more than that. He spent a year cutting me down and blaming me for our problems but the truth is he couldn't face his own failures as a spouse.
Thanks everyone for being here.
I don't know my next move. The kids are in camp and I'm getting my ducks in a row, as they say.
Take care.

Me: BS 44yo
Him: WS 42yo
Married 11yrs; together 16yr
Kids: 8yo and 3yo
Dday: June 26, 2013
Dday #2: July 22, 2013 - found out same woman and been going on since Dec 2012.
Starting the divorce process. Listing our home. Scared but hopeful.

Posts: 40 | Registered: Jul 2013
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 7:47 AM, July 10th (Wednesday)

He wants his freedom and I want to rebuild my life.

There's nothing inconsistent with those two goals - you have the capability to achieve both.

Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4028 | Registered: Dec 2011
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, July 10th (Wednesday)

I''m glad that you''re doing what you need to do to separate and move on. (((hugs))) and strength to you!

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 4962 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Member # 10002
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, July 10th (Wednesday)

I'm sorry tennispro. I know it does hurt to see the blatant disregard for you and your M.

Focus on 180. Don't respond to the texts. 180 is for you to detach.

Posts: 1060 | Registered: Mar 2006
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, July 10th (Wednesday)

I have little advice, just support and a hug as you walk this path. Take care of yourself and your kids. Be kind to yourself, and get a GOOD LAWYER.


Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3692 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
Topic Posts: 5