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User Topic: Eldest DD update
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, July 10th (Wednesday)

I posted a few weeks ago about my dd and her financial aid fiasco. Well she reapply and was only able to get loans. We met again tonight along with the XW. After understanding the situation, XW wanted to talk with me alone about seeing if we could cover the small amount that DD was wanting to take an unsubsidized loan for. While XW was trying to explain to DD that she wanted to talk with me before she accepts her loans because tuition for the Fall is due this Friday. In the course of conveying that to DD everything went downhill between XW and DD.

So on the bright side DD got some loans so I am not faced with dealing with her crisis and possible manipulation. On the down side it sucked see XW and DD both being bull headed and neither was listening to the other. And DD's sense of entitlement is still running high.

Thanks to all for your support.


Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

Posts: 52586 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, July 10th (Wednesday)

I'm so glad the loans came through for DD, Moo.

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25716 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 18179
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, July 10th (Wednesday)

All's well that ends well! Glad the immediate crisis passed, Moo ~

You can't fill a cup with no bottom.

Posts: 3890 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: a new start together
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, July 10th (Wednesday)

I'm glad she was able to get the loans.

Posts: 35846 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 12:46 AM, July 11th (Thursday)

One step at a time. Glad to hear you got some good news.

Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

Posts: 1727 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:54 AM, July 11th (Thursday)

Big relief for the most part.

I'm sorry that you still have to get tangled the frustrating/emotional side of this. You're a GREAT dad and just doing what you can.


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17810 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:37 AM, July 11th (Thursday)

I'm glad she got the loans, Moo.

Not sure when that sense of entitlement ends. I'm sorry there was friction, but it sounds like for now things are moving forward for DD and that's good!

Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."

Posts: 37999 | Registered: Sep 2007
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 9:13 AM, July 11th (Thursday)

I'm happy for your (sort of) positive outcome, MOO. One less rock on your back.

Age: 64..ummmmmmm,, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks

Posts: 7278 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, July 11th (Thursday)

Ahhh it's a nice feeling when things work out.

Good for you.

Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8698 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, July 11th (Thursday)

I'm glad you have a solution for the current semester. Hopefully she won't get in too deep with loans. I hope you can talk with her about that.
All my kids went cheap enough that there were no loans, but DGD finished a few years ago, now has the equivalent of two house payments and is very sorry she went that route.

You're doing a great job, but hope DD and XW can learn to talk with each other.

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2381 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, July 11th (Thursday)

I am glad DD is continuing her education. I think college, graduation, and looking for job will temper her sense of entitlement.



I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5262 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, July 12th (Friday)

I'm glad the fall is worked out. That sense of entitlement seems to ebb and flow around here.... Real life seems to help at times.

Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling

Posts: 4607 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Member # 5772
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, July 15th (Monday)

I'm glad Moo! Sorry haven't been up to date. Big hugs!

Me BS(49)
WH passed away on 3/21/2013(52)
2 Kids S(24) D(21)
"To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved."–George MacDonald
"Not being able to govern events, I govern myself." –Michel de Montaigne

Posts: 17682 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Guatemala
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, July 15th (Monday)

Sorry for the friction between XW and DD but good news on the loans! One less thing to worry about.

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15413 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Topic Posts: 14