SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
General
User Topic: Worst fear confirmed
klsana00
New Member
Member # 26196
Default  Posted: 5:06 PM, July 12th (Friday)

Well unlike my husband DNA doesn't lie. There is an OC!!! Unbelievable. I don't know if I can do this!!! I feel like my kids have been robbed! Now he is going to have to pay 18 years because he couldn't wrap it! Or better yet keep it in his pants!! God I don't know why this is happening to me! She drove all the way from Texas to Ny to get knocked up! I hate her and hope she dies!


Bruised but not Broken

Posts: 12 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: NY
hardtimesinlife
Member
Member # 10468
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, July 12th (Friday)

I'm so sorry, klsana
Lots of people here have been through it and will be along to show you the way. Keep in mind it's slow around here on weekends.

Hang in there and take care of yourself by drinking plenty of water and eating.

Hugs.


Ddays 2004 & 2007
I cut my losses mid 2013
Feeling happier every day :)

Posts: 5957 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Florida
ThoughtIKnewYa
Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, July 12th (Friday)

(((klsana00)))

I'm so sorry.


Posts: 10939 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: North Carolina
MylarPineapples
Member
Member # 39570
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, July 12th (Friday)

How did you find this out? Did you get a copy of the test results? I am soooo sorry this is happening. I am sure folks wiser than I will have some good advice for you, but I just wanted to send you ((((hugs)))) and make sure you know people are here to listen to you.


Me: BS, Him: WH, 3 kids
8/08: EA with former neighbor
1/13: EA/Sexting with Coworker #1
6/13: Sexting with Coworker #2

Posts: 115 | Registered: Jun 2013
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, July 12th (Friday)

I've seen many brave wonderful members band together to give each other support through this. If you haven't already, check out out OC thread in ICR when you're ready.

I'm just so sorry.

(((klsana00)))


For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot

Posts: 14628 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 5:17 PM, July 12th (Friday)

I understand how very devastating this must be for you and your whole family.

There is a thread in the ICR forum about OC's. I am sure you will get wonderful advice and support there.

I know I wouldn't be able to have a relationship with an OC. For our reconciliation to be successful we would have to be NC with the OC. I don't feel anyone can make those decisions but you. ((((klsana00))))


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 8950 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Want2help
Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 12:21 AM, July 13th (Saturday)

klsana00, I am so sorry to hear this. My husband has an OC too, but we are NC with the OW and OC.

Please feel free to vent here, give us some of your backstory if you wish (so we can further help you), and if you have any questions or need additional support, feel free to pm me. I will be checking all weekend when I can.

(((hugs)))


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
Surprise OC born 3/08 (NC)
6 years into successful R.
"That which can be destroyed by truth should be." -P. C. Hodgell

Posts: 1944 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
HardenMyHeart
Member
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 1:22 AM, July 13th (Saturday)

(((klsana00)))


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 29 years, Happily Reconciled

Posts: 5613 | Registered: Aug 2007
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 4:54 PM, July 13th (Saturday)

If you really don''t think that you can do this, file immediately and get your children established as first in line for child support. (((hugs)))


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4093 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Tired05
Member
Member # 39609
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, July 13th (Saturday)

I feel your pain and I definitely understand you feeling like your children have been robbed. I found out my WH knocked that bitch up around mid-november. I WAS ABOUT 25 WEEKS PREGNANT! Are you kidding me?? And of course, she found out the sex right around when my daughter was supposed to be born... Seriously? My daughter can't even be BORN and she already has to share her father?

I believe that my WH was a ginormous idiot who can't keep it in his pants and apparently needs another "Birds and the Bees" talk, however, from her twitter posts around that time and common sense, she planned this fucking pregnancy. AND SHE KNEW WE WERE MARRIED STILL AND I WAS PREGNANT.

We need to go somewhere and just break things. For our children's sakes for being so disrespected and 'thrown to the side' and for our own sanities, and even for the other children because they don't deserve such shitty and selfish parents either. I have no idea how I am supposed to do this either...the OC is due in a month, but she SEEMS to want nothing to do with his ass and has found herself a new 'dad'. I sure as hell hope so.

I'm raging for you. I'm raging for any person who has to learn there is an OC.

[This message edited by Tired05 at 8:29 PM, July 13th (Saturday)]


Together 6 yrs. M 4 yrs. DD born 3/1/2013.
Me: BS -- Him: 1 EA/PA (6mos), PA (MW), and 6 ONS...Been at it for almost 5 yrs. *Still slave to TT* 1st DDay- 11/24/2012,
.....OC due in August.....

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
Want2help
Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 9:04 PM, July 13th (Saturday)

I'm raging for you. I'm raging for any person who has to learn there is an OC.

Count me in. We're our own club.


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
Surprise OC born 3/08 (NC)
6 years into successful R.
"That which can be destroyed by truth should be." -P. C. Hodgell

Posts: 1944 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
What?  Posted: 3:24 AM, July 14th (Sunday)

I have had no experience with an oc so I can only.imagine finding out..so so sorry. Just added issues to any already shitty situation. I'm sure those in your shoes will be along soon with helpful infor in how to get through this. Keep posting, your going to .need support..and welcome to SI.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..divorced slut who prefers committed men, specializing in befriending and bopping the fathers of her kids team mates
Status..%&$#@?$

Posts: 3953 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
klsana00
New Member
Member # 26196
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, July 15th (Monday)

Thank you all so much for the support... My story makes me sound so pathetic. My WH was in the army. When we were in Texas my husband was a recruiter and worked long hours. He met this girl and said that her home life was bad and she needed a place to stay oh a BTW she could do childcare for my then infant. I agreed even though my mother thought it was a terrible idea. When we came to NY she came too. The situation got bad. I was sick of her and suspected she had a crush on my husband. We sent her packing. Turns out that he had kept in touch with her all these years. I found photos and texts in 2009. He swore that he would stop but I would keep finding the secret cell phones etc. We did MC and have been touch and go since then. He evidently spent the night out a couple of nights in Jan 2011 (he told me he was driving out to CT to see an old army buddy) well she got knocked up (and I know it was on purpose) OC was born in OCT of 2012. I found a CC record in april that he was paying for a storage unit in Texas. He told me she moved in with a friend and that it was supposed to be a one time charge. Next month charge again a huge fight and I find out she is in NY! I kick him out. THe kids are crushed. He gets an apartment with the free loading whore in June. By the 20th he is telling me this is not what he wants and wants his family. Then he confesses that she whore has a child. I asked him POINT BLANK if the OC was his and he told me no way... 4 days later it was "I don't think so..." I let him move back into the guest room for my children but also to spite that open legged whore. He paid 500 dollar to send her packing back to Texas. I insisted on a DNA test and we used a home kit which came back 99.99 that its WH. I cant believe it!! THe best was that he was supposed to have a vascetomy in 2009 that he cancelled!!!!

Sorry so long but it did feel really good to get off my chest. FYI I read all your comments and I insisted that he sign a noterized parenting plan that included CP so my support order will always come first (in NYS thats ok) I dont think she will file for support because she lied to the state of Texas when she was pregnant and told them she didnt know who the father was. He is sending CP and keeps a record of every red cent that goes to her. Currently he is very minimal contact with her. I have access to cell, bank records etc. he cant take out more than 10 dollars in cash without explaining where its going. I am going to PM you Want2help because I would love to know more about the NC with the OC in your case...

Hugs to all of us....


Bruised but not Broken

Posts: 12 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: NY
Whalers11
Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, July 15th (Monday)

An OC is pretty much the worst result from an affair that I could imagine - except for maybe ending up with HIV or something life threatening.

Big hugs for you - no matter what, it will be rough.

[This message edited by Whalers11 at 6:15 PM, July 15th (Monday)]


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2061 | Registered: Feb 2010
Crushed1
Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, July 15th (Monday)

So sorry ((((klsana00)))).


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9614 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 10:23 PM, July 15th (Monday)

(((klsana00)))




Posts: 30620 | Registered: Mar 2011
Runninggirl
Member
Member # 9973
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, July 15th (Monday)

That has to be a worst fear. I am SO sorry : ( Hugs.


Shock has worn off. Now the 'fun' begins.
After several years of solid R, (F)MOW
CHECKS IN in to say Hi~ H CHECKS OUT briefly and "forgets to tell me" because IT HADN'T gotten
physical this time. 4 months out again same MOW

Posts: 2852 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: The Valley
klsana00
New Member
Member # 26196
Default  Posted: 5:22 AM, July 16th (Tuesday)

I feel bad for the baby in many ways. One it has THAT for a mother and it was conceived from a sinful disgusting act on some disgusting mattress in some seedy motel! I would hate to know that's how I came into existence. I don't think I will ever be able to have that child in my life. I have a stepson who I have a great relationship with (better than he has with his father!). But I don't think I can with this one. Hopefully she will just find someone else to be daddy for this kid....


Bruised but not Broken

Posts: 12 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: NY
Topic Posts: 18