User Topic: a (maybe lame) victory for me...
Member # 31229
Default  Posted: 7:41 PM, July 13th (Saturday)

I had a long post typed before and then the internet ate it, but the condenced version is this...

After being seprated for 8 weeks, and this weekend being one of stbxh's weekends with the kids, he made plans for tonight without telling me. I was pretty pissed initially, but he left at 7 (he was here "watching" the kids), to do who knows what ("go home and sleep" - yeah right), and though the brief thought to follow him to see if he was lying crossed my mind, I opted for "I don't give a shit!!" And I don't! I wanted to go out tonight, but you know what? My kids are better off here with ME then they would have been with that lying, asshole. At least I won't be screaming at them and calling them names. They are enjoying playing a game on the lawn and I am enjoying the cool evening and a glass of moscato. Following him to see if he was lying was not worth the time or the gas, because...


Folks, this is a BIG DEAL for me!!

Hoping you all are having as lovely of an evening as I!

[This message edited by thenon-goddess at 7:42 PM, July 13th (Saturday)]

Status: divorcing - I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Posts: 1249 | Registered: Feb 2011
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 8:00 PM, July 13th (Saturday)


Every time STBX has stood up the kids I've come to a similar conclusion. I'm glad for every minute I get with them. They'll be grown & gone before I know it, last thing I'll do is begrudge time spent with them.

Enjoy your evening!

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9851 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, July 13th (Saturday)


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2725 | Registered: Jan 2010
Member # 20024
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, July 13th (Saturday)

Good for you!!!

My STBXH pulled something similar. He took a personal day today to go to some sports event. He asked me last week if he could see our kids, for a few hours in the evening, even though it isn't one of his scheduled days. We are only a few weeks in and I don't want to keep the kids from seeing him while they are adjusting. So, I told him that would be fine, given is a special circumstance.

Anyway, he tells me yesterday that he probably shouldn't take them because he doesn't know how long the event is going to last or when he will be home. Blah, blah... Turns out Miss Hotpants was going with him. That's why he didn't want to kids.

At first, I was so heartbroken. This is the second time he has bailed on them. Thankfully, I didn't tell them beforehand. But, then I thought, why be sad? Its more time I get to spend with them. So we played games, listened to music and danced. I have to make their lives good because he is already proving that he only cares about himself.

Me: BW
DDay #1 Tried R
DDAY #2 Divorcing

Burn everything love then burn the ashes.

Posts: 247 | Registered: Jun 2008
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, July 13th (Saturday)

Here's to all of our "Give A Fucks" being smashed to smithereens!!

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5618 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 31229
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, July 13th (Saturday)

Thank you, guys! It really ended up being a great night. I put the younger two to bed and shared dessert a d a movie with my two olders. I really could use the break (my oldest son has ADHD and is kind of a ring leader for the circus sometimes), but it's also amazing to me how much less chaotic things are when STBXH's negativity is not around. His style parenting and ADHD do not mix.

Hangingon, glad you were able to make the best of your night as well! It really is all about the attitude we have about things that can make all the difference.

Status: divorcing - I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Posts: 1249 | Registered: Feb 2011
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 11:23 AM, July 14th (Sunday)

Nothing lame about that victory. It feels fucking great, doesn't it?!

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4693 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Topic Posts: 7