Off Topic
User Topic: Update on DD's treatment
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, July 15th (Monday)

DD has been at the residential treatment program for 6 weeks now. She has adjusted to the location, the schedule, and the people (both staff and other clients) fairly well. That is all good.

Since she entered the program, her focus has been almost exclusively on getting back home. She has been doing really well. Very compliant, doing extra chores for bonus behavior points, etc.. All that is good, but it's been more a matter of "behaving" rather than changing behaviors due to the program, if that makes any sense. This is apparently a very common thing - a honeymoon sort of a phase - that many clients go through upon entry to the program.

Over the past week or so, cracks have started to show in the surface, and DD's anxiety is bubbling to the top. She has had some arguments with peers, and during her last overnight pass this past weekend, she had a major blow up. DS was at home and able to help defuse the situation to the point where we could safely transport her back to the residential facility.

The therapists have suggested that we put a hold on future overnight passes, and stick to day passes until she is further along in her treatment. I have not yet talked to DD about it, but I know she will be heartbroken.

This setback was not only understandable, but honestly, somewhat expected. Doesn't make it any easier to go through, however, for either DD or the rest of us.

I wanted to thank everyone for the support and positive energy you've been sending our way. It is such a comfort.

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25850 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, July 15th (Monday)

Thanks for the update. My thoughts and hopes and best wishes are with you, your DS, and your DD. I hope this becomes easy for all of you, even though it is supremely difficult now.

fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10440 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, July 15th (Monday)

I've seen the "honeymoon" period in my students... It lasts until the client/student realizes that unless they do the hard work of the program they're not going home.

Then their real issues/behaviors come out and the hard work/real work begins.

Hopefully she'll get down to the hard work of her treatment program and things will move along and she can come home for good.

Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24608 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, July 15th (Monday)

Thanks for the update. Continuing to think of you and yours.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13813 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, July 15th (Monday)

Thanks for the update.

It sounds like she is in the perfect place and that they see the cycle in this type of healing.

Continued prayers.


Fidelity isn't a's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!

Posts: 21076 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Sad in AZ
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, July 15th (Monday)

I can't imagine how hard this is for any of you. I give you props, mom. You have her best interests at heart.

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20330 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 3:41 PM, July 15th (Monday)

You're doing an amazing job, NIK. I'm proud of all of you.

I'm just so thankful that she's in a program where she can be safe and they can make adjustments as needed to help her in her current state.

(((NiK, DD, DS)))

Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17917 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 3:44 PM, July 15th (Monday)

(((Nik & DD)))

Thank you for the update. Sounds like she has a great team of therapists (and of course an amazing mom) to help her and give her the tools she needs. Sending both of you mojo, strength, support, and love.

Posts: 36058 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, July 15th (Monday)

((((nik & DD))))

Thank you for posting this update, I have been wondering how it's going for your DD.

You are doing a great job as a mum, and I know you will keep supporting her working her way through this program.

Just wish that doing what you - as a parent - need to do weren't so hard.

Sending more strength and positive thoughts (and mojo!) to you and your family.

((((nik & DD))))

Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 25 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 30
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2632 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
Deeply Scared
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, July 15th (Monday)

(((((NIK & DD))))) Continued healing and loving thoughts to you both

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

Posts: 198457 | Registered: May 2002
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 11:16 PM, July 15th (Monday)


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?

Posts: 25628 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:03 AM, July 16th (Tuesday)

(((((NIK and DD)))))

Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."

Posts: 38219 | Registered: Sep 2007
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:37 AM, July 16th (Tuesday)

You guys are the best.

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25850 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, July 16th (Tuesday)

Thanks for the update, I've been thinking about your DD.

((((nik and dd)))

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4697 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, July 17th (Wednesday)

Try to think of it not as a setback but a step forward in the healing?

(((NIK and DD)))

Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1298 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 5:51 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)


Sending mojo


Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

Posts: 52772 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)


WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6099 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)

Thanks, guys.

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25850 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 18