I learned the hard way that where there's smoke, there's fire. Your gut is telling you something; you need to listen.
I'd bet the farm he's having an affair. Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. 2010 was when the big red flags started waving, it sounds like.
I'd highly recommend you start going into active information-gathering mode. I strongly recommend you read, read, read here on SI, specifically in the Just Found Out and General forums, and with particular attention to the Tactical Primer thread in Just Found Out.
I'm so very glad you've found us, nestlee; you are not alone and there is nothing new under the sun. There is a phenomenal amount of great information here as well as invaluable support. Without SI....well, there are many ways I could finish that sentence, but relative to your situation at present, I can say it is unlikely I would've gotten the truth, that my FWH would've stopped, that he would've had an epiphany, etc. Read my profile if you feel like a diversion...my story started with a new email account.
So much of what you wrote resonated with me, beginning with cheating during dating (which got explained away), shifting to the secretive mode, sudden interest in manscaping, and of course the omnipresent DENIAL coupled with lame-ass efforts to explain away whatever has tipped you off to his doings. It is lame ass, his condom excuse.
If you have to suspend disbelief, chances are it's not the truth.
I don't know where your H works, but he finds two rubbers...where?...and decides to pick them up (why...because they're so valuable? ...because the thought of using a rubber that someone else dropped turns him on? ...?)...puts them in his car -- NOT on the seat, or tucked in a pocket, but into a small compartment in the car...where they stay until you find them. You had a hysterectomy, and most men I've known (unless they have a problem finishing too fast) don't exactly love condoms due to a real or perceived loss of sensitivity.
You as his wife not only deserve the truth, you deserve to be treated with respect and that starts with a faithful and honest spouse. They will, indeed, lie right to your frikkin' face. Oh, yes...it's the rare case when a cheater doesn't, frankly.
You're likely in a sickening turmoil of stress, fear, sorrow, anger, and doubt right now. We all get that, and just know you're in the right spot now for help and caring. Also know that cheating is about brokenness in the cheater, not about you and not about your marriage.