Wayward Side
User Topic: Heartfelt apology
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 2:52 PM, July 19th (Friday)

my BS's Dday is coming up on Sunday. He claims he doesn't keep track of dates but I would like to say something to him about how sorry I am. I don't know if I should bring it up or not as he is so different than me...
I want to tell him how sorry I am, how I broke his dream and I have so many regrets about that. and how hard i've been working on myself.
I don't want to trigger him though if he truly doesn't remember and just wants that day to slide by....

his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

The conditions we face do not define us. They remind us of who we are and who we want to be.

Posts: 5230 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 37945
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, July 19th (Friday)

He remembers. Guarantee it. Ignoring it would just piss him off. You need to do something selfless for him, and you need to be the one to think of it.

Hope this helps. Sometimes BS minimize, too.

Posts: 231 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: texas
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 11:12 PM, July 19th (Friday)

I've been thinking on this one for a bit...and I think that I would talk to him, if I were you. Time and again we see examples of the BS not wanting to talk about it, but it seems to come back to bite them in the ass eventually.

WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6099 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
Member # 36813
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, July 20th (Saturday)

BS here, hope you don't mind my input. Everyone s different, but I would really appreciate my FWH bringing it up and apologizing. I still think about the A every day and I'm to the point I've stopped bringing it up because it's always me who does. I would like to hear him say sorry without me mentioning it an to know he s still hurting too.

Posts: 278 | Registered: Sep 2012
Member # 35862
Default  Posted: 5:07 PM, July 20th (Saturday)

BS here. I totally agree with the idea of saying something to him. We may not bring it up, but we remember.

As I told my H when he said I remember all the details and he doesn't. "If you're hurt badly enough, you never forget how it happened."

He may not even know it, but it's probably something he NEEDS to hear from you. We always appreciate it.

Me: BS 43
H : WS 46
DD #1 7-11-08
DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.
Started R in 12-09
"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."

Posts: 677 | Registered: Jun 2012
Member # 38561
Default  Posted: 12:46 AM, July 21st (Sunday)

He remembers. Guarantee it.

Absolutely. He remembers for sure. Good for you for having the state of mind to want to show remorse and care. How you go about it is up to you, but as a BBF dealing with an unintelligent WGF, I commend you on your effort and awareness.

ME - A new person
HER - A waining memory
DDay - 2/22/2013
2-3 month EA/PA
Together for 6 years, ready to start my life . . .

"I can fill the flask up, but can't get past us
I'm in the storm, staying strong, but can't get back

Posts: 177 | Registered: Feb 2013
Topic Posts: 6