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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Staying strong....
FogHater
Member
Member # 33156
Default  Posted: 10:01 AM, July 20th (Saturday)

How do u keep ur resolve....
Waiting for lawyer to draw up papers
Then having him served.
We r still living together
It's hard for me to tell him...
Is to a good idea to keep it from him?
What does everyone think?
What did u do?


I don't know what I'm doing
but I know what I'm not doing

Posts: 1301 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Illinois
Pippy
Member
Member # 16482
Default  Posted: 11:00 AM, July 20th (Saturday)

People think I am crazy when I say this but I really believe it. We all get sappy about the good ol' days ( pre D-Day) during the days around the full moon ( Jul 22) I've seen it time and time again here on SI. The posts increase. people question their moves like you are.

Give it a few days and it will pass.

[This message edited by Pippy at 11:00 AM, July 20th (Saturday)]


I divorced him because I didn't like his girlfriend.
M 30 yrs.


Posts: 9587 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: East of the Rockies
FogHater
Member
Member # 33156
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, July 20th (Saturday)

I know...
I just need to remind myself of everything he has done and is doing....
I am just nervous about all of this...
Not sure what to expect.
This is so overwhelming....
I need to stay focused.
Just need to talk to someone....


I don't know what I'm doing
but I know what I'm not doing

Posts: 1301 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Illinois
Pippy
Member
Member # 16482
Default  Posted: 11:38 AM, July 20th (Saturday)

Keep focusing on the here and now but also remember the way he has treated you. You deserve to be happy. We only get one life on this planet and you've wasted enough of it on him.

The legal parts are scary but you will feel an unfamiliar sense of relief when it is done. I thought I'd be a sobbing heap when the D came final, but I just felt relief my fight was over.

You did all you could and more. He wasn't even trying to play by the rules. Someone is looking for you out there. You deserve to be happy and you are teaching your son how to be strong.

You can do this.


I divorced him because I didn't like his girlfriend.
M 30 yrs.


Posts: 9587 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: East of the Rockies
devistatedmom
Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, July 20th (Saturday)

Talk away foghater. We are here.

You keep your resolve by knowing how he is treating you isn't right.

You keep your resolve by knowing, even if you are terrified of it, that life without a cheating ass is better than being treated second rate.

I used my anger. I hit that anger stage, and I RODE it. I got everything the lawyer needed, I cleaned, I exercised.

Whether you keep the fact that papers are being drawn up or not is up to you, and how things are going. If he's being an ass everyday, and your L is filing for you to get sole possession of the house, no, don't tell him, because he will treat you worse, OR do something so you end up out of the house.

If he doesn't know you are thinking of D, don't tell him, he will try to convince you otherwise. Not because he wants you, just he doesn't want things to change.

Just keep going. You can do it.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5405 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
FogHater
Member
Member # 33156
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, July 20th (Saturday)

Thank u for supporting me and my decision
He has always made me second guess everything I do and have done.
I am not second guessing my decision to divorce but he will try to tell me nothing is going on with her.
That makes me angry because he thinks I'm stupid enough to believe his lies...
Never again will I do that.
I get in his face about her and he turns it on me saying I'm crazy.


I don't know what I'm doing
but I know what I'm not doing

Posts: 1301 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Illinois
Pippy
Member
Member # 16482
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, July 20th (Saturday)

It is very empowering to make copies of all things financial while the papers are still in the house. I highly recommend it.


I divorced him because I didn't like his girlfriend.
M 30 yrs.


Posts: 9587 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: East of the Rockies
FogHater
Member
Member # 33156
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, July 20th (Saturday)

I have gotten all current bills and emailed them to my lawyer.
Also a savings acct he doesn't think I know about.


I don't know what I'm doing
but I know what I'm not doing

Posts: 1301 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Illinois
Topic Posts: 8