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New Beginnings
User Topic: XH, SO and me
burnt_toast
Member
Member # 16891
Default  Posted: 4:23 PM, July 20th (Saturday)

The place I moved out temporarly to is located in front of a church. Today, as I got out, I witnessed a wedding party arriving. I felt the excitment and the joy of my own wedding day. Just good feelings, no bitterness. It felt good.

***

I learned by accident that WH had a 2nd child with (how do you call an OW who is the official GF since 5 years? FOW?). It was a small shock since the first baby was an accident -- seems that perhaps he's either owning his choice and/or being happy. I also learned that he's been to IC for quite a while after we D. I was happy to hear it. I often say and think that I'd rather know he broke our M for a greater purpose. So there.

I had to let go of being in a «happiness competition» with XH in order to be able to leave SO. If anything about this shitty situation feels good, at least it's that part. It has been freeing.

***

Although I had initiated NC, SO wrote me a beautiful letter today, pleading me to help him through therapy. Says he has no support group like I do and needs my help to do it. I'm happy he recognizes he needs therapy, but sadly, he doesn't get the other part about doing it on his own (including building his own support group). He still doesn't hear the needs that I expressed when I left, that I can't toil for two anymore, that I need time, that I'm at the end of my own rope.

***

I had to walk in front of the house yesterday. It made me cry. But then I saw one of the neighbors we are in a conflict with going donw the stairs and I felt in my gut that I could never live there again. I could not even go inside and pick my mail.

I'm ovewhelmed right now. But not in the same way I was with the A. Just sad and confused and unable to deal and move forward to make the breakup permanent. I need time. I need space. I need wisdom and clarity. I need to tap into my inner strenght.

[This message edited by burnt_toast at 8:13 PM, July 20th (Saturday)]


It is what it is.

Posts: 4699 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Quelque part
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, July 20th (Saturday)

((Bt))

No advice, just hugs. I think she would be called a wifetress.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7571 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
WhiteWolfWinning
Member
Member # 12475
Default  Posted: 9:24 PM, July 20th (Saturday)

BT,
You already are tapping into your inner strength. Your post shows great wisdom even in the face of great sadness.

One day at a time.

Wolf


Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply, Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God

Thank you, Lord, for the lightness of my burdens


Posts: 8233 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: midwest
trumanshow
Member
Member # 25624
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

well for me there is no statute of limitations-they are forever and always a whore. No matter how long they stay married


Your ex wanting to be friends is like asking a kidnapper to stay in touch when they let you go.

The type of fierce loyalty that I possess made me incapable of comprehending the level of disloyalty that he possessed


Posts: 1746 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Charlotte, NC
Topic Posts: 4