SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Newbie Posts
changedforlife
Member
Member # 38474
Default  Posted: 11:45 PM, July 20th (Saturday)

Hi everyone! I am new to this forum but I fear this may be my new reality.

Are there any posts that would be good for a newbie to read?

Thanks!


Me - BS/Him - WH (in our 40's)
Together 21 years/ 1 preschooler
D-day - Jan 24/13 He confessed about affair.
Broken NC -Feb 7-22,Feb 28,March 6
Continued Contact up to July 16
D-DAY 2-July 19 FALSE R!

Posts: 132 | Registered: Feb 2013
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 1:00 AM, July 21st (Sunday)

I can say welcome. This is a good, strong group of people.

As for threads, if you haven't checked the Healing Library yet, do that for sure.

If you have specific questions, feel free to ask.

No Contact is a pretty good rule of thumb. And protect yourself, financially and emotionally. It is a roller coaster, but there is an end in sight.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5567 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 5:49 AM, July 21st (Sunday)

Depending on whether there is abuse in your situation, or if you're going to have to "flee in the night" to get away, there is a good thread down in IT called Lets start a safety thread or something like that.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13553 | Registered: Jul 2011
Vulcanized
Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

Hi CFL,

I wish I'd found this on my DD. Sorry that you are here.

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=469167


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 724 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

Hello, and welcome. There are some extremely fabulous people here with great advice. They will not only support you, but I've found they will be straightforward and hit you with a gentle 2 x 4 when needed..

Anything that you are struggling with, post it and I'm sure you will receive some great advice.

If you want to rage at your spouse, post it here instead.

My best advice is this. If you truly believe that this is over, there is no need to discuss the infidelity anymore. You don't have to explain again why this is happening. Try to make your communications with him as business like as possible, and pretend you are dealing with an incompetent co-worker. If you find you are playing a blame game, don't play it with him. Take your ball and go home.

DO NOT engage with him about the affair any longer. Kids and finances only!!

Focus on you. Do what is best for you. Big hugs!!


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 6

Posts: 1989 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Topic Posts: 5