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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Need some validation and a couple of FtGs
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, July 21st (Sunday)

Received this text last night:
What time you plan on picking Teslet up?

The same time I pick him up after every visitation: Sunday at 6...moron.

Me: 6

***crickets***

This morning at 6:30 a.m.

It's my grandmas birthday tomorrow and I'd really like teslet to be there but it's going to go a little late. You think I could keep him another night? I'll drop him off with you whenever is good on Monday...???

And do I get any more weeks with him this summer or are we back on weekends?

When does he go back to school. I'll get you his tuition and extra for clothes and soccder, etc out of my next paycheck.

CHECK THE FUCKING GOOGLE CALENDAR!!!! Stop asking me when shit is happening. The shit is listed on the fucking calendar. Stop telling me that you are *going* to give me money and just pay your goddamn part. I haven't gotten a fucking penny from you in the last 7 months unless I've gone through my attorney. Actions, idiot are all that fucking count.
And no. You cannot keep him another night on 12 hours notice. I know you received an invitation to this party in advance. So, that would mean, you take 5 minutes, consult the google fucking calendar, think to yourself, "why ex-shat, grandma's party runs past my visitation time, I should probably arrange with my cold-hearted, suicide-inducing, bitch of an ex-wife to keep Teslet an extra night in advance." Oh, and then you have to actually perform the ACTION!!!! Not good enought to just think it in your head and let your jedi fucking mind powers do the rest.
And stop putting multiple question marks in your texts. They do not count as a 'pretty please with a cherry on top'.
Oh...and no more extra weeks. You have to schedule those by the end of April. Summer is just about over and I have a vacation planned with Teslet. If you would consult the google fucking calendar, you would see, there actually aren't any 'weeks' left. Oh and plus you had to schedule BY THE END OF APRIL!

Fucking hell. How are you so stupid now? Taking illiteracy and entitlement lessons from stripper whore? I do not have to be accomodating of your inability to plan past your next blow job. I am not going to be fooled by you dangling Teslet's tuition in front of me so that you can get an extra night with him. You are required to pay that tuition. Fuck you.

My response:
"I can pick him up at 8:30 tonight (if you like, i can pick him up from a different location if that makes it easier.) But we have stuff going on tomorrow. It's too late to schedule additional summer visitation. Check your guidelines, if I remember correctly, it is to be scheduled before the end of April. School registration is 8 August. Your half of tuition is $X. I will email you the school calendar when I receive it."

I have received crickets from him. No confirmation of pick up time. I'll give him a little longer but then I'm going to have to have a confirmed pick up time. Because I swear to god, if I am at the apt and my son is not there...I will become a crazy woman.

[This message edited by tesla at 9:59 AM, July 21st (Sunday)]


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4693 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
h0peless
Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, July 21st (Sunday)

It's all a bunch of pathetic, passive aggressive shit but you already knew that. If you don't let Teslet go to his grandma's birthday party or let him have him for another week, you're being mean, never mind the fact that he has access to the paperwork and the calendar. If you say "no", he gets to turn you into the bad guy and that's a lot of fun!

As far as the money thing goes, he probably actually means it when he says it and because of that,, he gets to feel like a pretty great guy. I guess it's sort of like another form of cake; he gets to feel like he is a stand up guy without actually being one.


Posts: 1749 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
Take2
Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, July 21st (Sunday)

Tes, I'll give you a FTG as soon as I stop laughing and clean up the computer screen:

I do not have to be accomodating of your inability to plan past your next blow job.

Nice Rant! Personally I am very impressed that you are currently sane.

F.T.G!


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4156 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, July 21st (Sunday)

FTG.

And yes, you are 100% in the right. IMO, you're being overly gracious in even extending to 8:30 (what time does teslet go to bed?) and going out of your way to meet him somewhere else.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13811 | Registered: Jul 2011
Beyond
Member
Member # 3011
Default  Posted: 10:30 AM, July 21st (Sunday)

Why even write him at all? Can't you just use Jedi mind tricks to communicate?!

Seriously, though...he fired you from the position of administrative assistant. Google Calendar is his new admin. He should get to know her.

Oh, and..."Yay, me! I'm planning to pay Tesla what I OWE HER. I'm a great guy."

Finally, as you requested:

F.T.G.!!!


XOW.

Posts: 361 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Virginia
IrishLass518
Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, July 21st (Sunday)

This is a "You play nice and I'll play nice" text. You let him have Teslet one more night and he will pay what he is obligated too without you having to call the attorney. He is just so sweet
FTG!!!!


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1781 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, July 21st (Sunday)

How awesome would it be to have three canned responses you could send back to him?

No. Google Calendar.
No. Guidelines.
No. Lawyer.

And for some of the more intense periods of cluelessness, you could combine couple.

No. Guidelines and Lawyer.

Oh - and FTG


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25835 | Registered: Aug 2011
myperfectlife
Member
Member # 39801
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

I do not have to be accomodating of your inability to plan past your next blow job

Yeah...FTG. What a Moron.


I cannot be responsible for another's personal growth.
DDay#1 of a "cheatillion" 4/1/13
Divorce final 11/04/13

Posts: 452 | Registered: Jul 2013
Coraline
Member
Member # 36434
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

Yes, FTG!


Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.

Posts: 771 | Registered: Aug 2012
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

What NIK said.

and FTG! Moron.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17589 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

What a fucking moron ASSHOLE!!!!!

Gimme an F!
Gimme a T!
Gimme a G!

What's it spell??

FTG!!!!!!


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 25 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 30
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2624 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 12:46 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

You have the best rants ever!! Thank goodness I wasn't drinking my morning coffee when I read it otherwise it would be all over my computer!!

Oh tesla ... I am so sorry he is such an idiot. He is hoping you will respond in however way you would have responded when you were together. He still wants you to "fix" everything. Hang in there girl!!


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2284 | Registered: Oct 2012
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 12:46 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

I forgot to add ...
FTG
FTG
absolutely FTG!


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2284 | Registered: Oct 2012
devistatedmom
Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

FTG. Nothing else needs to be said.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5541 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

FTG!!!!

You are amazing Tesla. Screw him and his stupid games.

I agree with NIK.

No. Google calendar.
No. Guidelines.
No. Lawyer.

This asshole does NOT deserve a cookie for doing WHAT HE IS SUPPOSED TO DO.

And I totally get you about hearing what he is *going* to do. I get that all the time. Just fucking do it already!!!

I also get, I was *going* to do it if you just hadn't <xyz>.

FUCK THESE GUYS!!!


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2397 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
nutmegkitty
Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

FTG, big time.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2601 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

I texted this guy a few hours ago asking him to please confirm that I am picking Teslet up at 8:30 at either his place or a different location.

I have heard nothing back.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4693 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Grace and Flowers
Member
Member # 34431
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

Oh, goody. I have not come to the party too late to say

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
GGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

I'm sorry he's making things so difficult. I hope things tonight end up ok.

(((((tesla)))))


I'm Happy, not Sad!

Posts: 1177 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: US
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 4:58 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

Good grief. ftg


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9852 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

FTg

Jagoff.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7781 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 5:53 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

Nice Rant! Personally I am very impressed that you are currently sane.

F.T.G!

I agree with Take2.

Did he ever communicate or what??


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5864 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 6:04 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

Yes, just heard from him. Pick up has been confirmed. I can put away my crazy. Seriously, him being passive aggressive about this jet makes me want to lose my shit. It's the only way he has left to fuck with me. But here's the thing...I don't think he's doing it on purpose. I think he is just that fucked up.

And now I give myself permission to breathe again.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4693 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 6:22 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

Glad it worked out, you handled the idiot really well....and just for the hell of it - F.T.G!!!


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4618 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
kernel
Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

FTG! Just wanted to get that in as I'm sure he needs a couple more. FTG!!


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5297 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 9:24 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

Ok, get this...
I get to ex-shat's place and he's GOING TO WORK!!!!

WTF

On the way home, I ask Teslet if he had fun at grandma's party. He says, he didn't see grandma.
I don't know what his selfish aim was in this. I really don't care. But once again he has proven that he is a selfish mother-fucker.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4693 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
missmydogs
Member
Member # 36559
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

I'm late but still FTG!!!


Me 36
DS 16
DD 4

Divorced!

I've made a huge mistake - GOB


Posts: 71 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: missmydogs
devistatedmom
Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

Ok, I know it isn't what is preached here, but I'd lose my crazy on that one! I would call him and tell him don't you EVER lie to me about wanting to take him somewhere and then not going and don't EVER try to get an extra night for him to sleep over when you aren't even going to be home. FTG!


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5541 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

Late to the game, but what the heck:

FTG!

*handing him a one-way ticket to Bangladesh*


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3623 | Registered: Oct 2011
Lola2kids
Member
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

Oh I wish you could just tear a strip off him for that.
Really
Here's one more. FTG.


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(10)
D-Day April 18, 2011
Him:out Sept. 11, 2011
He moved to Europe June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

Posts: 1440 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 10:06 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

Holy shit, and as I was getting him ready for bed, he pulls his shorts off and he has no undies on. I say to him, "Couldn't find any undies?" He says that he was going to play on the slip and slide but he couldn't find his swimming trunks. Okay, no biggie.

I say, "Oh cool, a slip and slide! I bet you and dad had fun on that."
He says that dad wasn't outside with him but the neighborkid was. Sounds like stripper whore wasn't outside either. There is no fenced in area around these apartments. There are train tracks within 1000 ft...and a parking lot just outside the front door.

Now, maybe somebody was watching from the window. But tell me why it is that this fucker only sees his son every other weekend and can't muster up the gumption to go outside and watch his kid...and then the fucker is going to try to get an extra night??!!

No. No. No. Unless that fucker goes by the book there is no more extra time. Not even a minute. FTG.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4693 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
ruinedandbroken
Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 10:16 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

Fuck that mother fucking guy.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
peridot
Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 10:20 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

I would send him an email or a text telling him that when teslet is outside an adult also needs to be outside.

I would also tell him that you know they didn't go see grandma. Since he has the need to tell lies instead of the truth, there will not be any more extra time or changes in the visitation schedule.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4792 | Registered: Feb 2008
FirstLoveGone
Member
Member # 25957
Default  Posted: 11:40 PM, July 21st (Sunday)

What an asshole! Seriously FTG.

I don't even bother calling out FT on stupid passive-aggessive shit like this anymore. Because it will get me no where fast and will aggravate me even more. I just make a mental note of it and use it as information to make decisions in the future.

However, I hope to god someone was keeping an eye on those kids. Why even bother taking visitation if you're just going to ignore your kid!?


Posts: 1274 | Registered: Oct 2009
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:08 AM, July 22nd (Monday)

I don't even bother calling out FT on stupid passive-aggessive shit like this anymore. Because it will get me no where fast and will aggravate me even more. I just make a mental note of it and use it as information to make decisions in the future.

^^THIS.

And what NIK said. None of this "if I remember correctly" stuff.

"I will pick him up at 8.30pm from your place unless I hear otherwise by XTIME. As per the decree we are each to provide X hours notice for extended visitations as per the decree. [or if it is not in the decree then "I will need X hours notice for extended visitations going forward"]. The decree also answers your question regarding extra weeks. The Google calendar answers all of your other questions".

I would also add a "Please stop contacting me unnecessarily." I say it about every second time he contacts me with some idiotic query that he could have worked out himself. The other time he gets crickets.

Fuuuuuuuck.Thaaaaaaat.Motherfuuuuuucking.Guuuuuuuy.

There must be something in the water. The sad clown has been trying to goad me something chronic lately. Over bullshit.

Couldn't find my big ones glasses in her school bag. I get a where is it? Its not yours return it to me!!

I say its in the front pocket of her bag.

He says something like "You think I didn't look in there you fool - give it back to me, its not yours!".

I say "It is in the front pocket where her pawpaw cream is kept. Look again."

He comes back "Thank you".

I had a chuckle and thought yeah - I'll thank you when you DIAF.

Then my little one was sick and couldn't go to DC so we had to do a handover in person. 8am, my foyer. IN FRONT of my big girl he says "Didn't you take her to school?".

Me: "No - we have never separated them, this has always been our arrangement."

She doesn't start school until 9 - we've always handed both girls over at 8am.

<I wanted to rip his face off for saying this shit right in front of my sweet little girl>

In a little mantrum huff: "It would have been nice for you to tell me".

Me: "this has always been our arrangement".

Now yes, I was upset that he said this shit in front of my big girl but I honestly did not give a flying fuck about what he was trying to pull. I've come to expect it.

Like my own private game of Fuckwit Bingo.

I call Bingo and FTG.

Ranting is good Tesla and I swear to god that man's purpose in life is to provide comedic cobber for us all here to enjoy. Get it out if you feel it. Vent away.

But... I don't want you to feel like this every single time he pulls this shit. Not even for a fucking second. He doesn't deserve your sharp wit and brilliant mind even when it is at his expense and aimed at his shit-for-brains.

I want you to see and feel the funnies but not the mads.

I want to be there too.

((Tesla)) I don't feel at all safe when they are with him. He put my tantruming 5 year old out on his balcony 3-4 flights up. I heard her yelling for him from my place. This on top of his drinking and 'recreational' drug use and his recreational drug user child of a GF.

Fuck me.

I hear you. I really do. That is why you are LIVID. If he was keeping him safe and if you felt secure you would only see the funny side. I don't know what advice to give you about that as I'm right there in that hell with you.

[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 9:23 AM, July 22nd (Monday)]


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5618 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
ruinedandbroken
Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 6:30 PM, July 22nd (Monday)

((Tesla)) I don't feel at all safe when they are with him. He put my tantruming 5 year old out on his balcony 3-4 flights up. I heard her yelling for him from my place. This on top of his drinking and 'recreational' drug use and his recreational drug user child of a GF.

I hear you. Mine let my 6 year old jump on a trampoline without a net at night without any lights on. He could have broken his neck.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
fallingquickly
Member
Member # 36599
Default  Posted: 2:55 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday)

Next time he asks a question about the schedule send him a link to the Google calendar. Nothing else. He will learn to read soon.


Divorced and beginning my new life.


2 Ddays and lots of TT
divorcing

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken


Posts: 453 | Registered: Aug 2012
LAFA
Member
Member # 31868
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday)

Definitely worth a FTG.


When you put someone on a pedestal, they quickly learn two things. The view is mighty good from up there, and it is a fine vantage from which to kick.

Posts: 184 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Hawaii
Topic Posts: 37