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User Topic: Bored? Help me over analyze.
waiting2see
Member
Member # 13767
Default  Posted: 5:38 PM, July 22nd (Monday)

So I met this guy at happy hour a month ago. Gave him my number.

We started texting pretty regularly. Very flirty on his part.

We keep tryimg to arrange to meet again. One weekend he is out of town at his brother's but we still text.

He texts a couple of times about wanting to see me but I have my kids.

Finally we arrange to meet at another happy hour. He has friends in town and I have plans after but he comes over to the bar I am at and we hang out for a couple of hours.

He walks me to my car. We kiss a little. He later texts to make sure I made itt home ok,

Lots more texting. Then next weekend he goes MIA over text from Friday till Sunday evening when he expresses regret that he was too busy to get together. Though we did not have any plans. He was just saying he wished that we could have.

This past week, we text, I mention a happy hour on Thursday. He says he is going out of town that night for rest of the weekend. Later from the happy hour I send him a picture of a drink the bartender made for me. He doesn't respond.

I hear nothing until today at 5 when he comments on the photo. Then corrects himself from saying it "looked" good to "looks" good. Not sure why he made a point to sound like he was just now seeing it?

Obviously this guy owes me nothing. I wonder if there is an out of town girl who thinks he is being exclusive to her?

I know we have hardly gone out and I don't know if I would really even date him. He is much younger than I so any dating would just be for fun.

But I still feel a little slighted by his not engaging for a few days and then just trying to resume the convo like time never passed.

I am not really invested enough to even ask him about it and of course he is free to see whomever he likes. I have gone out with two other guys myself since I met him.

I guess I am just looking for input on how this whole think works and if I should feel slighted or is this just the way multi-dating works?


me: BS
him: XWS

Much of your pain is self-chosen. ~Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet, 1923

"It's not livin' that you're doin' if it feels like dyin." Ray Lamontagne


Posts: 1932 | Registered: Feb 2007
hurtbs
Member
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, July 22nd (Monday)

If you are this sensitive, then I don't think you should be doing the "multi-dating" thing. It's easy to get your feelings hurt and become overly sensitive.

It sounds like he's not particularly invested. He enjoys chatting with you and may be open for hooking up if you're both free, but that's it. It doesn't sound ike you're cool with that.


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15325 | Registered: Jun 2006
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:12 PM, July 22nd (Monday)

I think it all depends on what you want from him. If you are OK with on/off, no comments and wondering what is going on...then you can give him a chance.

My new motto is: "If he doesn't stop at your station, then he isn't your train."

If he wanted to get to know you, you would know it. He isn't keeping up with constant contact and you are still responding back, therefore he thinks you are OK with it.

If it were ME, then I'd go NC. I only engage when he engages, if I'm interested. If I don't hear back from a guy after about 24-48 hours...I'm done. I refuse to guess.

I did the whole, "What does this mean?" when I was first dating. It sucked. I don't do that any longer. If they want to poof, I let them.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4185 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
InnerLight
Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 11:14 PM, July 22nd (Monday)

He's not that interested in you and he's not investing in getting to know you. He likes you enough for texting and a convenient date and kiss when it's easy for him. If you want more than this then stop engaging with him.


BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. Now I am living alone in the beautiful rural property that was once the dream retreat with X. It's taking a long time to create new dreams but despite some struggles I am mostly happy.

Posts: 5857 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
Topic Posts: 4