I filed for D yesterday. I have an incredible lawyer that isn't going to stand for any of his BS anymore. I called him and told him, moved half of the funds from our checking/savings to my own accounts and charged the retainer to our joint credit card at my attorney's advice. He did say "I thought you would have had enough respect to tell me before you filed paperwork, that is a lot of money for an attorney" I told him... "Yeah... I really wish you would have had the respect for me and our marrige to not cheat throughout the entire thing"
Since the last time I posted-I have been reading a lot about NPD.... wow. What an eye opener. It's very obvious that his mom has hurt her children by her own narcissistic tendancies. She tried to have kids for several years and was unsuccessful. She had my husband and then started treating her own husband like dirt. Like his role was done. My husband became her support system, her emotional spouse. As soon as I moved out of the house, guess who came and moved in?
I am realizing that she did all of this because she is in competition with her sister about who has the more "successful kids". It is a sad reflection that she feels she needs to use them for her own personal gain. I knew that things were not right with his family... I should have known better. I'm not excusing his affair, but I do feel bad that he was never equipped with the tools to become a grown up. Mommy always fixed everything for him. She's doing it now.
As for me- I feel like by filing, I am truly holding him accountable for his actions, probably for the first time in his life. I will not allow him to sweep this under a rug and I intend on trying to make sure that no one else who gets involved with him goes through the same thing I've been through.
Just want to thank everyone for their support. I will survive this. I know that this moment could be fleeting.. but for the first time in the last two months of hell- I'm the one in control of the situation and it feels so GOOD.
RW Me: BS 27
Him: WH 27
Together since 10/2006
Lacing up my nikes and running west!