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User Topic: Gaslighting
Thingsfellapart
New Member
Member # 39351
Shutup  Posted: 7:53 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)

I ran across this today:

http://thecurrentconscience.com/blog/2011/09/12/a-message-to-women-from-a-man-you-are-not-%E2%80%9Ccrazy%E2%80%9D/

It so fits me! I did some more searching on the net and found this:

How do you know if you are being gaslighted? If any of the following warning signs ring true, you may be dancing the Gaslight Tango. Take care of yourself by taking another look at your relationship, talking to a trusted friend; and, begin to think about changing the dynamic of your relationship . Here are the signs:
1. You are constantly second-guessing yourself
2. You ask yourself, "Am I too sensitive?" a dozen times a day.
3. You often feel confused and even crazy at work.
4. You're always apologizing to your mother, father, boyfriend,, boss.
5. You can't understand why, with so many apparently good things in your life, you aren't happier.
6. You frequently make excuses for your partner's behavior to friends and family.
7. You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you don't have to explain or make excuses.
8. You know something is terribly wrong, but you can never quite express what it is, even to yourself.
9. You start lying to avoid the put downs and reality twists.
10. You have trouble making simple decisions.
11. You have the sense that you used to be a very different person - more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed.
12. You feel hopeless and joyless.
13. You feel as though you can't do anything right.
14. You wonder if you are a "good enough" girlfriend/ wife/employee/ friend; daughter.
15. You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you don't have to explain or make excuses.

Do any other BS's feel this way? Anyone have any tips on moving past this?


Me: 33
WS: 38
D-Day 1: July 20, 2009
D-Day 2: May 9, 2013

Posts: 13 | Registered: May 2013 | From: East coast
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)

Yes, that's a good list. Most of those applied to me. My approach was to get lots of IC and do some hard work on myself & my FOO issues so I could find my voice and speak up for myself. STBX did not like that at all. He was threatened and began attacking me for speaking up, belittling me for going to counseling, accusing me of all manner of nonsense because I no longer acted/reacted the way I used to. The healthier I got the more threatened he got.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9684 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
LosferWords
Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, July 25th (Thursday)

I can't say this enough times: listen to your gut.

Your gut instincts at this point in time are your best friend.

The horrible thing about gaslighting is that so many of us did listen to our gut, but then were falsely told that we were wrong.

Gaslighting really sucks.


Posts: 7109 | Registered: Dec 2010
Topic Posts: 3