SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Wayward Side
User Topic: I am the betrayer
Wisew
New Member
Member # 40013
Helpless  Posted: 9:16 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)

Me and my partner have been together for 6 years. On and off, not married but its been brought up. He's cheated on me countless times and lately for the last 9 months we have been amazing, honestly the best we ever have been. Bt just recently I found out he cheated on me when we first started getting good 9 months ago. I broke it off and resorted to someone else. Me and my partner ended up trying to give things one last try and I truthfully wish I had the heart to because I'm in love with the guy. But I've been so hurt about everything that I still am with the other person, my partner doesn't know. And this new guy makes me feel amazing he makes me feel great but it's so hard for me to let go of my partner, part of me wants to but the other half doesnt want to leave this new guy.

I'm stuck thinking wether I should listen to my heart or my mind. Honestly I feel like my heart is in two places and I don't know what to do. I think I'm getting attached to the fresh feeling of feeling cared for, and treated like I want to.. I just don't know


Posts: 2 | Registered: Jul 2013
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)

Wisew...

Since you're posting from a WS stand point, we will move this to the WS forum where you will get a lot of really good support.


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 191805 | Registered: May 2002
nomistakeaboutit
Member
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 9:21 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)

It looks like you have a choice to make.


Me: BH 56.........Her: WW 43
DD: 6..........DS: 4
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
...................................
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"

Posts: 795 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
LosferWords
Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 9:27 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)

Hello, and welcome to SI. I think you will be able to find a lot of help here.

I think the most important thing to do, and the first order of business, is to come clean with your partner. Even though he doesn't know he is currently being betrayed, it is hurting him, and you are causing great harm to yourself as well.

I'd also recommend the Madhatter's thread in the "I Can Relate" forum. Madhatters have worn both hats in their current relationship: betrayed and wayward. I am a member of that thread, myself.

Best of luck to you, and welcome.


"The hero of my tale, whom I love with all the power of my soul, whom I have tried to portray in all his beauty, who has been, is, and will be beautiful, is Truth." - Leo Tolstoy

Posts: 4490 | Registered: Dec 2010
Wisew
New Member
Member # 40013
Sad  Posted: 9:45 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)

Thank you all, I do do have a choice to make but I feel like which ever one I make won't be the one I want. I love the feeling this new man gives me, feelings wanted and loved. Making me feel like I haven't felt in so long. But then again I look at my partner and he doesn't even make me feel the same. The sex isn't as amazing either with him, as it is with this new man. But something in my heart doesn't give me the strength to throw away 6 years, even though I should've left years ago... I never had the strength to. I look at myself today and bang my head on the mirror, ashamed I didn't leave years ago, especially when he would hurt me with another girl right infront of my eyes.. Hes trying so hard too, to make up for everything hes done.. m clueless, I'm considering therapy

[This message edited by Wisew at 9:47 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 2 | Registered: Jul 2013
BaxtersBFF
Member
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)

The feeling of the OM is not something you can compare to the feelings you have/had for your BF. And until you go NC with the OM, you will never be able to make a decision based in truth.


WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6016 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
lifelongregret
New Member
Member # 40038
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, July 25th (Thursday)

To the OP , best to make a decision and live with it rather than stringing along your current BF while you try out your new fling. It isn't fair to either of you , if your new man makes you feel amazing, choose him and be done with it, just stop with the back and forth otherwise it will be like playing with fire.

Posts: 1 | Registered: Jul 2013
Stillkicking
Member
Member # 38246
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, July 25th (Thursday)

HONESTY. This is key.

I have to ask, does your AP know about your boyfriend? Because if not then you are betraying them as well,
What start to a relationship that would be.

I would question yourself as to wether you are ready to be in a relationship right now, after a poor (?) six year go around with your BF.

IMHO, I would break it off with both men for a month and then see where your heart sits.

It won't be easy Wise, but with some heavy soul searching, and great thought you will find the right path.

Just remember to be honest with both men, and most importantly, be true and honest to yourself.

You WILL find your way.

Good luck.


You'll never learn to fly
until your standing at the cliff

I reserve my right to feel uncomfortable reserve my right to be afraid.
I make mistakes and I am humbled every step of the way.


Posts: 126 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 8