I can relate so well to this.
My h left on dday for a woman he was only texting.
Left me, his home, stability. He was willing to sacrifice everything for a virtual stranger, including me.
He rented a room in someones house and proceeded to blame me for his actions and pursued ow and ea became pa.
All the while still trying to hoover, blameshift and just be plain cruel.
When I think of that now it brings so much anger and pain. It makes it hard to appreciate the things he is trying to do. It makes me angry that he is not doing enough (he isn't).
It makes me question who he is. What kind of person is capable of that cruelty and coldness??
Then change their mind, expect to slide back in without trying to prove themselves.
Sorry, didn't mean to rant, I think this has been my focus for the last couple of days.
Wish that I had some wisdom, just can empathize with the hurt, disappointment, disillusionment.
I keep thinking that it would have been so different if he had not left, if he had instant remorse. I guess it doesn't matter, that is just wishful thinking, you can't change the past. I do wonder if it just makes it that much harder to live with, the fact that they left.