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User Topic: T/j on Boys question
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, July 25th (Thursday)

Ok... All of you with boys... I didn't want to put this on Unfound-y's post...

My DS is 11 about to be 12 and is such a complete air head!!! I mean a total space cadet... I am afraid at times that he's going to walk into traffic.

Also, he talks out loud to himself... ALL. THE. TIME!

Tell me he'll out grow the airheaded thing!!!

Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24595 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 9:04 PM, July 25th (Thursday)

I like trucks.

Wait, what was the question?

I am sure he will grow out of it. My son's only 8 so I haven't been there yet.

My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.

Posts: 1296 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, July 25th (Thursday)

Mine were the same. I swear every we left the house we would have to go through a check from head to toe so we wouldn't have to make a second trip back for forgotten bags, socks and yes, underwear.

They didn't talk to themselves so much, but sang. They still do. .

From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14861 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 9:15 PM, July 25th (Thursday)

Yeah. My son is 13. A bit naive compared to the other boys his age I see. Some people call it immature but it's not really that.

He is SOOO what you posted and has been since about 11yo. I could live with it if he just did his schoolwork...that aspect of airheadedness I can live without.

ETA- the talking to himself is waning. He does have his own theme song that he kind of hums though.

[This message edited by Holly-Isis at 9:16 PM, July 25th (Thursday)]

"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11224 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 9:41 PM, July 25th (Thursday)

My son was never that way. My oldest DD was a total airhead as a teen though. Teaching her to drive was one butt-clenching experience, let me tell you.

eta: She did grow out of it. She's a pretty level-headed person and the best I know at living on a budget and planning for future expenses. Now she drives like she's on a NASCAR track. Still butt-clenching, just in a different way.

[This message edited by kernel at 9:44 PM, July 25th (Thursday)]

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5243 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Sad in AZ
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 10:47 PM, July 25th (Thursday)

OMG, yes; the airhead thing. It was infuriating because my DS was always so mature and logical. I was sure that one day he'd leave the house for school in his underwear. I was constantly getting calls from him because he'd forgotten something. Unfortunately for him, at that point I was working out of town all but 8 days a month, so I was not around to pick up the slack for him. He had to get his act together.

He also talked to himself--carried on full-blown conversations. He had this weird tick too--when he got excited about something, he'd do this weird finger-twiddling thing, often in front of his forehead I can't adequately describe it. It was completely unconscious--he didn't realize he was doing it.

I miss those days...

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20279 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Member # 15906
Default  Posted: 10:56 PM, July 25th (Thursday)

My son is the same age and is totally the same plus I always have to remind him to change his underwear and socks daily.

I swear if I didn't...ewww. It's just gross.

Updated 2014:
BS-me 41
XH-doesn't matter
4 kids

SO-5 years together-he decided to end it by cheating too

Posts: 1379 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: PNW country
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, July 25th (Thursday)

Best solution to kids forgetting stuff: consequences. Don't go back for their stuff. Don't tote stuff out to school. Even if you can, even if its easy. You're not doing them any favors in the long run (I work with college students -- trust me when I say that they need to learn this before they get to college or to the working world!)

"I'm sorry you forgot X. You will have to do without it. If you like, I will help you figure out some ways to be sure you remember to take your stuff."

Repeat as needed.

DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 872 | Registered: Sep 2012
Member # 29971
Default  Posted: 11:50 PM, July 25th (Thursday)

Please see the following link for more info:,8599,1973532,00.html

Cut them some slack. Their brains are still developing and when the hippocampus is not yet developed, it results in poor judgement. In Alzheimer's patients, it shrinks. That's why you'll see an elderly patient start yelling bc there's no applssauce or peeing in public when they don't have incontinence.

I think for anyone undergoing hormonal changes as well as growth and development, these things can seem not quite as obvious to a fully grown adult.

I mean, going through pregnancy or having your monthly or going through "the change" admittedly there are times where *we* forget and do dumb shit too, right? Its embarrassing to be asked why you're acting stupid and know you fucked up but can't give a straight answer.

[This message edited by stilllovinghim at 11:54 PM, July 25th (Thursday)]

“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

Posts: 1942 | Registered: Oct 2010
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 10:50 AM, July 26th (Friday)

I have a 16yo with ADHD, and he tends to forget obvious things, and until he got his drivers permit, he didn't even know which direction to go out of the driveway to get to school!!!!

If he is talking to himself to help him remember what he is supposed to be doing, that is actually a very good thing. If he is talking to himself about the next thing he's gonna build on minecraft, well then not so good.

I have taught my son many organizational skills. He does really well with lists, until things become habit. Seriously when he was 8-9 he got out of the habit of brushing his teeth, so we had a list on his mirror of to do's every morning.

Get up
Go to the bathroom
Get dressed
Brush teeth
Eat breakfast
Put shoes on
Get out to bus by 7:30

So now he's a list maker, and learns visually too, so he is big on flashcards, just like his momma.

Oh and as far as the airhead thing with driving, he went to take his test yesterday, and ran a stop sign, and drove on the wrong side of road!!!!

Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8698 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, July 26th (Friday)

My DS is 8, is a complete airhead and also talks out loud to himself.

I actually had him tested through the schools for some sort of learning disability. Turns out he's off the charts smart. I'm talking super high IQ...we were all amazed, because he really does act like a dingbat.

He also has ADHD, so maybe that contributes? I'm not sure. His doctor thinks that he's just like the absent-minded professor....brilliant but a total airhead.

Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

Trust is like paper. Once it's crumpled it can never be perfect again.

Posts: 1168 | Registered: Jul 2012
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 3:36 PM, July 26th (Friday)

One of my boys was very distracted and sometimes talked to himself. It was when he was about 10-13. I thought maybe he had ear infections and couldn't hear - nope, all fine. And tested extremely bright.
He outgrew the talking to himself, is less distracted, but I strongly suspected during his 15-16th years that the intelligence test was wrong. Lol!

D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 5:29 PM, July 26th (Friday)

Oh yeah my airhead is off the charts genius too.

Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8698 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 5:37 PM, July 26th (Friday)

Yep raised two boys. The oldest had a year like that, the youngest is 21 and I think just now growing out of it.

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA
Trying to reconcile

Posts: 1647 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now.
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, July 26th (Friday)

Yes, my son tested very high IQ and is in all the gifted/accelerated classes at school.

He's very bright...

He's often very passionate about a specific topic and learns it inside and out before moving on to the next subject.

Right now he's addicted to Mindcraft.

Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24595 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 6:24 PM, July 26th (Friday)

Oh yeah, I remember those days.

I carpooled kids to school. If they were running late I'd have to go get the other kids, and get THEM to school on time, then come back for the late one (or both sometimes). No sense of recognizing the repercussions, till I started charging them "cab fare".

They just didn't have a clue somedays. I worried that I had stupid kids. How in the world could "I" sire stupid kids????

The bad news is that after the airhead stage you might get the "I don't give a damn" stage. You want them to apply themselves at school...they want to party and be cool. Drove me absolutely nuts.

Now they are in their early 20' issues. 25 is the age they mature (so they say), so I'll let you know how that turns out!

Posts: 2586 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
Member # 39077
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, July 26th (Friday)

Minecraft is awesome! I have three boys - 17, 13, 11 - and they'll build things that are completely amazing in that game. So will my girls. You can learn so much engineering in it.

And yep, it's the hormone tsunami kicking in. My youngest has his own theme song, too - kind of a Buddhist monk drone bit. He gets engrossed in what he's doing and the rest of reality goes bye-bye. All my kids did it at the start of puberty.

Posts: 292 | Registered: Apr 2013
Topic Posts: 17