SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Wayward Side
User Topic: What do you do to better yourself?
tryingandfailing
New Member
Member # 39912
Stop  Posted: 11:17 PM, July 25th (Thursday)

Inspired by a comment I read today, people here are always talking about improving yourself, working on becoming a better person, figuring out strengths and weaknesses...

What do YOU do to work on you? Since your A, have you become more spiritual? Do you exercise? Something you do in particular that gives you time to think or helps you work through your challenges? What are your coping mechanisms when BS has a trigger?


Posts: 30 | Registered: Jul 2013
BaxtersBFF
Member
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 11:34 PM, July 25th (Thursday)

Honesty with self. That's really what it comes down to. And it sounds as selfish as hell...but that is what drives things now.


WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6099 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:28 AM, July 26th (Friday)

What Baxter said.

I try to 'be kinder than necessary' in all situations. I don't gossip, I appreciate the small things. I am mindful of my blessings and take nothing for granted.

I am more open to listening and really hearing my BH.

When my BH has a trigger I talk to him. I ask him if he's okay and what, if anything, can I do to help.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37569 | Registered: Sep 2007
cinnamongurl
Member
Member # 37879
Default  Posted: 6:29 AM, July 26th (Friday)

I try my damnedest to live as authentically as I can. I'm learning through some incredibly difficult work how to do this, undoing a lifetime of poor choices, terrible coping skills, and being honest with myself, and with others. I've been exercising, cooking, gardening, and I took a workshop in plein air pastels. (Apparently I have some hidden talents and artistic abilities I never knew about )


Me: 36 fWGF He: 35 BBF and my heart
Together 18 yrs. "You were sick, but now you're well again, and there's work to do."
Kurt Vonnegut



Posts: 507 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: home with my heart.
20WrongsVs1
Member
Member # 39000
Default  Posted: 8:32 AM, July 26th (Friday)

I'm still in the early days of recovery, still picking up the pieces.

I read a lot. Pre-A I read only fiction, but now I read "self-help" (for lack of better categorization) books. I'm working to become a better communicator, so I can send and receive positively. When the only tool in one's toolbox is a hammer, the whole world looks like an occasion for nails.


fWW: 42
BH: 52
DDay: April 21, 2013
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
"Between stimulus and response there’s a space, in that space lies our power to choose our response, in our response lies our growth and our freedom." V. Frankl

Posts: 1171 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Redneck land
Topic Posts: 5